1. Describe a time when you tried to bring about a change in your self-concept and were not successful in doing so. I have always had a great gift of attracting and being attracted to the wrong men. I went as far at 28 to marry and have a child with one. We ended up having a very turbulent marriage complete with abuse. He ended up committing suicide when I decided finally to divorce him. After this all happened, It made me painfully aware of a pattern I had been in my entire life with men. For the sake of my children, and me I swore off men and began to work on myself. I was successful for two years, until I once again met a very charming man who I made the mistake of letting into our lives. It was a relapse for me; I immediately fell into the old patterns. I was with him for a year when once again I had a realization that I was headed right back to into the same old patterns. I kicked him out realizing I was not going back down that road again. He was never abusive to me or my children, but he was an alcoholic and a prescription pill addict and I found out that the girl he dated after me, he was very abusive towards. 2. Summarize the guidelines for improving self-concept in our textbook and explain how each might apply to a change in self-concept. Make a firm commitment to personal growth- This to me is the obvious and important first step in changing oneself. You need to decide what you really want for your life and become committed to this becoming a reality for yourself. To me, this was allowing myself to be alone, without a companion, realizing that what my children and I had been through when I was in a relationship was far more scary and damaging than to be a single parent. Realizing I had wasted so much time on these men, I had not cared enough about myself to do the things I wanted to do, such as go to college and get my degree. Gain and use knowledge to support personal growth-I had to realize that a lot of my issues with relationships stemmed back to my childhood. I was always setting myself up for failure by choosing men I knew where not good for me. I realized that I was seeking out men who were like my father. Through self-disclosure, I took a long hard look at myself and my history of men. I did this by sitting down and writing a journal and for the first time, I saw the cold hard truth right in front of me. Full disclosure, nothing was hidden from myself and for the first time, I was forced to look at what I had not wanted to see about myself. Set goals that are realistic and fair.-My goal was to get myself mentally healthy for the first time probably ever in my life and to get my education started. I got myself into therapy and decided until I was completely mentally healthy, I would not date anyone. I started researching my education and where I would go to college, got enrolled and began a goal I had wanted for most of my life, Getting my degree in Psychology. Seek contexts that support personal change-I had given up the bar scene many years ago when I had my children, so staying away from these outside influences is not hard. I did change my phone numbers so my ex could not contact me and I began really focusing on my education. I also started spending more time with my mother who is honest with me about how the world might view me. I always ask for her opinion and she gives me open and honest communication. 3. If you applied these guidelines, how might you be more effective if you attempted to create the same change in your self-concept today? I wish I could have taken this class in high school. I think my life would have turned out much different. I am glad to see however it looks like I was able to start on the right path finally by myself. This certainly reinforced my thoughts that I was finally doing the right thing! 4. What is the most significant thing you have learned from this assignment? I have learned that I am indeed on the right path to making my own personal self-concept the way I have forced it to appear to the world for many years. I am happy to see that I am on the right path and I will use the skills I am learning in this class for the rest of my life.