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Conflict

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Personal Conflict Style Inventory
How Do I Respond to Conflict?
Instructions. Consider your response in situations where your wishes differ from those of another person. Note that statements A-J (Part One) deal with your initial response to disagreement; statements K-T (Part Two) deal with your response after the disagreement has gotten stronger. If you find it easier, you may choose one particular conflict setting and use it as a background for all the questions.
Please Note. The reflection this inventory can create is more important— and more reliable — than the numbers the tally sheet yields. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers, nor have we "standardized" this instrument. Some takers agree with the results; others disagree. Whether you like the results or not, you should rely on them for an accurate picture of yourself only after further self-scrutiny and discussion with others. The inventory is merely a tool to enable these larger tasks.

Part One
Circle one number on the line below each statement.
A. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I make sure that all views are out in the open and treated with equal consideration, even if there seems to be substantial disagreement.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

B. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I devote more attention to making sure others understand the logic and benefits of my position than I do to pleasing them.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

C. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I make my needs known, but I tone them down a bit and look for solutions somewhere in the middle.
Not at all
Very

Characteristic

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

5

6

Characteristic

6

Characteristic

6

Characteristic

D. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I pull back from discussion for a time to avoid tension.
Not at all

Characteristic

1

2

3

4

Very

E. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I devote more attention to feelings of others than to my persona] goals.
Not at all

Characteristic

1

2

3

4

5

Very

F. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I make sure my agenda doesn't get in the way of our relationship.
Not at all

Characteristic

1

2

3

4

5

Very

G. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I actively explain my ideas and just as actively take steps to understand others.
Not at all

Very

Characteristic

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

H. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST
I am more concerned with goals I believe to be important than with how others feel about things.
Not at all

Characteristic
I.

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

4

5

6

Characteristic

4

5

6

Characteristic

WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES EXIST,
I decide the differences aren't worth worrying about.
Not at all

Characteristic

1

2

3

Very

J. WHEN I FIRST DISCOVER THAT DIFFERENCES XIST,
I give up some points in exchange for others.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

Part Two
K. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELLNGS ESCAIATE,
I enter more actively into discussion and hold out for ways to meet the needs of others as well as my own.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

L. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELLNGS ESCAIATE,
I put forth greater effort to make sure that the truth as I see it is recognized and less on pleasing others. Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

M. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELLNGS ESCAIATE,
I try to be reasonable by not asking for my full preferences, but I make sure I get some of what I want. Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

N. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELLNGS ESCAIATE,
I don't push for things to be done my way, and I pull back somewhat from the demands of others.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

O. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELINGS ESCALATE,
I set aside my own preferences and become more concerned with keeping the relationship comfortable. Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

P. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELINGS ESCAIATE,
I interact less with others and look for ways to find a safe distance.
Not at all

Very

Characteristic
1
2
3
4
5
6
Q. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELINGS ESCAIATE,
I do what needs to be done and hope we can mend feelings later.
Not at all

Characteristic

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

R. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST EELINGS ESCALATE,
I do what is necessary to soothe the other's feelings.

5

6

Characteristic

Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

S. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELINGS ESCALATE,
I pay close attention to the desires of others but remain firm that they need to pay equal attention to my desires.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

T. IF DIFFERENCES PERSIST AND FEELINGS ESCANTE,
I press for moderation and compromise so we can make a decision and move on with things.
Not at all

Characteristic

Very

1

2

3

4

5

6

Characteristic

Scoring & Interpretation
Transfer the number from each item to the tally sheet. For example, on item Al if you selected number 6, write
6 on the line designated for A on the tally sheet. Then add the numbers. Sample: B I + H 4 = 5
This exercise gives you two sets of scores. Calm scores apply to your response when disagreement first arises.
Storm scores apply to your response if things are not easily resolved and emotions get stronger.
The scores indicate your inclination to use each style. The higher your score in a given style, the more likely you are to use this style in responding to conflict.

Styles of Conflict Management
Collaborating
Calm
Storm
Assert your views while also inviting other views* Welcome differences; identify all main concerns; generate options; search for solution which meets as many concerns as possible; search for mutual agreement.
Perspective on Conflict. Conflict is natural, neutral. So affirm differences, prize each person's uniqueness.
Recognize tensions in relationships and contrasts in viewpoint. 'Work through conflicts of closeness.

Compromising
Calm
Storm
Urge moderation; bargain; split the difference; find a little something for everyone; meet them halfway.
Perspective on Conflict. Conflict is mutual difference best resolved by cooperation and compromise. If each comes halfway, progress can be made by the democratic process.

Accommodating
Calm
Storm
Accept the other's view: let (he other's few prevail; give in; support; acknowledge error, decide it's no big deal or it doesn't matter.
Perspective on Conflict. Conflict is usually disastrous, so yield. Sacrifice your own interests, ignore the issues, put relationships first, keep peace at any price.

Avoiding

Calm
Storm
Delay or avoid response; withdraw; be inaccessible, divert attention.

Perspective on Conflict. Conflict is hopeless; avoid it. Overlook differences, accept disagreement or get Out.

Forcing
Calm
Storm
Control the outcome; discourage disagreement; insist on my view prevailing.
Perspective on Conflict. Conflict is obvious; some people are right and some people are wrong. The central issue is who is tight. Pressure and coercion are necessary.

Preferred and Backup Styles
Using your scores from page four of Kraybill's "Inventory of Personal Conflict Management Styles," list your score numbers and style names here in order of largest number to smallest.
The style which received the highest score in each of the columns, calm and storm. indicates a "preferred" or primary style of conflict management. If two or more styles have the same score, they are equally "preferred.'
The second highest score indicates one's "backup" style if the number is relatively close to the highest score. A fairly even score across all of the styles indicates a "flat profile." Persons with a flat profile tend to be able to choose easily among the various responses to conflict.

CALM

STORM

Response when issues/conflicts first arise.

Response after the issues/conflicts have been unresolved and have grown in intensity,

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