What do you do when your son breaks a vase in the living room? There are two ways that a parent can handle his child in this situation. You can either talk to him, gently, or you can slap him hard on the face. The child will learn never to break the vase again, by using both methods, but the physical punishment method has its consequences. These consequences are serious and can cause both physical and emotional pain. This emotional pain will soon break out and make the child aggressive and hard going. It will happen. It’s a fact. Many of our friends that are aggressive are usually like this because they come from a background of physical beating. Corporal punishment is a crime and laws should be applied because it can physically, emotionally and mentally alter a child’s progression.
The first thing I want to point out is that aggression doesn’t come from nowhere. Everything starts from a source. When a parent beats his child, this child will become aggressive in his teen and adult years. Alice Miller said in her book Breaking Down The Wall Of Silence “Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves.” She means that when a child sees his parents using physical punishment, the child, who looks up to his parents, will become aggressive as the parents were. Being aggressive is hardly as bad as having emotional problems in your early years. All of these are consequences of physical punishment.
Now, the second thing I want to point out is that physical punishment doesn’t only affect the behavior of the child physically, but also emotionally. Think of it like this. When you hit your car one too many times, it will eventually let you down, shape and efficiency wise. Same goes for a child. Have you ever heard of this quote? “A child’s mind is like a sponge, it can absorb almost anything.” If you’ve heard this, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The child’s mind can absorb the effects that his parents leave behind. This will leave the baby a devastated, emotional future life. The child, when he becomes an adult, will remember how his parents used to treat him and will probably have some emotional problems that will be stuck with him for a long time.
Some parents like to use a more efficient, a more peaceful approach with their children, an approach that does not have any consequences. I can’t promise you that this will be an easy method but it will not leave any scars on the child, not physical nor emotional. The usage of non-violent methods is a hundred times more reliable to have a healthy, happy future for your child. Some parents like to teach their children how to argue, so that they might have a stronger personality in their adult years. These parents teach the child that whatever he is doing is wrong by simply talking some sense into the child. This will eventually teach the child to solve his problems more peacefully without the use of aggression.
Another reason why this method is a hundred, if not a thousand, times better, is because it simply does not leave any scars buried deep in the child’s emotions ready to explode. Unlike physical beating, that buries some serious troubles within the child, ready to explode at any moment in his life. I believe that anything that doesn’t hurt or scar the child is efficient. Yes, you might have some troubles or issues while dealing with your child by using this method, but at least you’re not hurting your child. Andrew Greenfield, child and educational psychologist, said “Even if you don't smack, but shout and scream, it's certainly not going to be effective, either.”
Some people believe otherwise. They believe that physical beating is the only way to deal with a child. Many people think that hurting their children will teach them to become tougher individuals. Many parents wish that their children become tough and strong so they use this method to teach the child aggression and strength. Anytime the child does anything wrong, they beat him. If a child says anything wrong, they beat him. They believe this will also teach the child to become obedient.
What is obedience? It is to obey. If you break the word down you’ll see for yourself. This word is very heavy, and it is very important to almost all parents. But parents who want the maximum obedience from their children use extreme methods. Some parents think that physical beating will teach the child to become obedient. If a child breaks a vase, his parents will make sure that he will never break anything again. The child will become scared from getting a beating again and will force himself to never break anything. These parents also believe that it will make a very strong personality. They have this idea in their minds that obedience makes a great person, a great personality. Dave Pelzer the author of the book A child called ”it” said “Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.” Pelzer means that a child should not be all the time obedient, he should live the life as a child and not a grown up person, so that makes him a great person, a great personality.
Many parents think, that in certain cases, only a physical beating will teach a lesson. They believe that some kids don’t learn unless beaten. They will use physical punishments to teach the child not to do the same mistake twice. They think that fear will help them teach the child obedience and respect. These cases are very limited. For example, like when the child is very hard going. A child will always do a mistake unless stopped. If a child steals a pen on his way home from school, he will think that taking things that are not his is not a bad idea. This child will then continue to steal until he gets caught, and maybe, by then, there will be serious consequences. So the parents will beat their child so he will never steal anything in his life again.
We stated that there are other parties that believe that corporal punishment is a very good technique; they also stated that this method has long term positive effects. However, research states otherwise. Dr. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical, sexual abuse prevention and recovery, said “The fact remains, corporal punishment causes emotional as well as physical damage, which if not resolved through a healing specifically focused on the aftereffects of physical violence, the damage continues to plague the person for a lifetime. Hitting, paddling, smacking, whacking, bopping, or any form of physical assault against a child is violence, because the act violates the child's sacred body boundaries.” She stated that corporal punishment is not an efficient way to deal with children, and the healing process is difficult and long.
Some parents state that physical punishment is the easiest, most efficient, way to deal with children and this method is the best. This is wrong, because methods got outdated with improvements in psychology. Nowadays, a child that has problems with being obedient or is very hard handling, there are doctors and specialized people with experience on this issue that can help parents deal with their children. This way, parents will learn how to treat their children using non-violent methods that will eventually not cause any consequences with their child in his teen or adult years.
We also talked about how parents have no other choice but to use corporal punishment with their child because there are extreme cases where the child has to be beaten to learn from his mistakes. Unfortunately, it might not be worth beating the child because this extreme case that leads to abuse might damage the child permanently and cause serious problems in the future. So I believe that nothing is worth beating your child for. I can conclude that physical punishment is not a great way to use with children. It can lead to seriously emotional and physical problems. Yes, it is an easy way to use when dealing with children, but is it the best way? No. There are lots of methods that can be used to deal with children, and many of them are very efficient and non-harmful to your child and they don’t leave any scars buried deep within. I believe that it should be avoided, if not made illegal. Have my words convinced you to take other measures than using physical beating with your children? No? Well, how about this? 41 countries have made corporal punishment illegal, and they made it illegal for a reason. What do you think now?