...7 LIES MEN TELL WOMEN He says you look great in that dress, that he loves your friends and that you're the best he's ever had, but shoud you believe him? Discover the subjects men lie about most and what they're really thinking. By Dr Joyce Brothers from Reader's Digest The topic of trust is an important factor in all matters of the heart — and here’s why. Men lie to women. Women lie to men. And most people agree that some lying is even necessary — to avoid petty squabbles and to grease the wheels of a relationship. But there are crucial differences in the lies women and men tell. A study by psychologist Bella M. DePaulo of the University of Virginia found that when women lie, they tend to focus on making others feel better — such as the woman who tells her hostess that dinner is “simply delicious” even as she cringes with every mouthful. At the heart of many men’s lies, however, is the male ego. Men lie to build themselves up or to conceal something, DePaulo says. According to psychologist Michael Lewis in the book Lying and Deception in Everyday Life, men are more likely to lie to enhance themselves than women are. But consistent lying — even about minor matters — can unglue a marriage. Women need to know what kind of lies to watch for, when to accept the lies and when to call a partner’s bluff. Here, from my own experience and surveys, are some of the most common lies men tell women: 1. "Me? I graduated top of my class.” This is a classic case of the runaway...
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...In short stories, often an author can find him/herself limited on space to develop one or more of the story’s characters. A skilled author can use small vignettes to relate instances of character development that can be used to infer a relationship with the character. These passages can be a line or two, but can carry the weight of a full chapter if executed properly. Will Weaver paints an idyllic farm scene in “A Gravestone Made of Wheat,” featuring a full cast of traditional characters. Nevertheless, through glimpses into specific instances in Olaf and Inge’s respective lives together, the audience can appreciate their nontraditional nature. Weaver’s short story opens with a confrontation between a small town sheriff and one of his constituents regarding the burial of the latter’s recently deceased wife. Olaf is portrayed as a simple farmer, with strong connections to family. In the first few lines of the story, Olaf displays confusion towards the sheriff’s presence at what he considers a family event, the burial of his wife. Olaf is under large amounts of stress at this point, as he is sitting directly beside his beloved wife’s coffin and is being told that he cannot continue with the burial as he had so planned. This makes Olaf seem confused, and mentally fuzzy; while his son Einar is trying to ensure his father understands the gravity of the situation, Olaf is distracted when “suddenly a fly buzzed like a chainsaw.” These actions show the audience how deeply Olaf must...
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...false. Advertisements, our parents, our children, friends, and siblings, those who we have more intimate relationships with, and even ourselves, deceive us, just as we are deceitful to them. There are many degrees to lying, varying from little white lies, to blatant deception and perjury. The motives and desired outcomes of those who lie vary greatly from person to person, as well as the degree to which they lie. Most people would agree that there are times when it is acceptable to tell white lies or even a bigger lie for the greater good, if the truth is not something of importance. I will discuss several facets of deception. To start, I will describe several types of lies and give definitions and examples of them. Then, I will talk about some facts about the frequency at which we are deceptive on an average day, and situations in which we generally increase or decrease how deceptive we are. Next, I will discuss why lies are prevalent in relationships, and how deception creates friction in the workplace. After that, I will talk about how we deceive ourselves, and why, what motivates us to lie and then I will give some arguments about the possibility of detecting when someone is lying and if you can distinguish their lies from the truth. Lastly, I will discuss several disorders that may cause one to lie, whether it is purposefully or not, and how that can affect their life and the lives of those close to them. The...
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...If a survey on homosexual rights in comparison to heterosexual rights is conducted right now, it would probably deduce results showing every other person harping on the importance and necessity of equal rights for both. People would not give it a second thought talking about education, medical, housing or employment rights. They would stress on the fact that homosexuals must also get equal protection of the law and government benefits as compared to heterosexuals. Everything asked will have a favorable response till you reach the point where you talk about gay marriages. That is the instance where they stop to think, where they have opinions, where equality dies and rights is just another term. This gives rise to the question of why do people who passionately support gay rights take a u-turn, and oppose gay marriages with the same passion. The purpose of this essay is to understand why same sex marriages are opposed and to debate whether marriage between homosexuals should be legalized. Before going any further, it is important to define gay marriage. In simple words, gay marriage is between two people of the same sex. It has been given legal status in different parts of the world such as Denmark, Spain, Canada, Norway, Sweden and South Africa. However, one of the greatest advocates of human rights, the United States of America at large does not accept same sex marriage legally. A few states such as New Hampshire, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts...
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...In act 2 when John and Elizabeth are sort of mad at each other because Elizabeth knows John Proctor committed adultery with Abigail, John Proctor tells Elizabeth “She told it to me in a room alone-I have no proof for it” (27). At this moment Elizabeth felt humiliated because John lied to Elizabeth about being alone in a room with Abigail. As the play goes forward John feels guilty and he then confesses and the court wanted Elizabeth to justify that he wants lying, but she ends up saying he did not commit adultery and shortly after he tells Elizabeth “I have confessed it!” (50). He spoke the truth to Elizabeth and from this point on he tries to stop telling lies to be an honest man. This change in John Proctor develops a theme of lies and deceit because John Proctor could have lied and said he didn't commit lechery to uphold his reputation but he did it because he wanted to be honest and he felt...
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...being played out, the reader must have to wonder of its modern age theme. Is an interracial relationship any more accepted in today's society? Was the deception and lies of the men in Othello because they were truly racist, jealous, or both. As we look at Othello, we will see how a man went from being obscure to the reader in the beginning to being a loving, honorable, self-destructive, jealous man that was so trusting it ultimately ended the world he knew to be true. When Shakespeare wrote Othello it was before its time. The thought of an interracial couple coming together could be construed as an exploration of sorts as the author did in many of his plays. It seems he wanted to extract a real reaction from his audiences and with the coming together of this couple he did just that. As Othello and Desdemona begin their life, we begin to see that the men Othello believed to be true and loyal to him start to deceive and plot against him. In the beginning we don't really know Othello by name only described by Iago as "the Moor"; and by Rodreigo as "thick lips". The reader was left in obscurity because it would tend to make the reader have uncertain thoughts if this was a human, animal, or what these men were even referring to. The men soon decide to go to Desdimona's father and make him aware the couple had in fact eloped. Iago says to Brabantio, "Zounds, sir, you're robb'd; for shame, put on your gown. Your heart is...
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...if sex is not shameful anymore then condemning infidelity is giving lip service and does not hold water to the ancient taboo. The author argues that adultery is not globally forbidden and gives an example of the traditional culture Eskimo where sharing your wife with a guest, or a visitor is an act of courtesy. She says that expectation of exclusivity of sex in marriage is what brings up bad emotions such as possessiveness and jealousy. In an institution of marriage, every partner can enjoy several activities such as traveling apart, and having separate friend hence the partners should also avoid drawing lines when it comes to sexual activity. The author says that the couples should separate sex from love and consider it as an activity for pleasure. She argues that during the time of marriage, many couples find new lovers and fall out of love in their marriages with their spouses. The author doesn’t find any moral value in staying faithful to somebody you no longer love. The weakest premise of the author is when she justify adultery to be just for pleasure and claims that it should be separated from love. The author’s claim implies a disaster in the marriage because in most cases the point of marriage is attributed to love....
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...There are many differences in The Gift of the Magi, by O. Henry and The Diamond Necklace, by Guy de Maupassant, there are also various similarities. Some of the similarities include being set around the same time of year, winter, both set at the turn of century, both couples have the same economic situation, both couples love each other, both couples made sacrifices and the pride shown in both stories. The differences are what stands out the most, Mathilde is selfish and only thinks of herself, Della and instead of just bemoaning their lack of funds figure out a ways to get each other a gift for Christmas, Mathilde lies to her friend about the necklace. Although there are many similarities and differences, these are just a few. Both stories are set in the winter, this is made obvious in both stories by certain passages. In The Gift of the Magi we know that Della is trying to by a Christmas gift for Jim. “One dollar and eighty seven cent. And the next day would be Christmas” (Henry, 1906). In The Diamond Necklace, we are left to draw the conclusion that it is winter with the date of the ball being January 18th. “The Minister of Public Instruction and Madame Ramponneau request the honor of M. and Madame Loisel at the palace of the Ministry on Monday evening January 18th” (de Maupassant, 1884). The time of year in The Gift of the Magi is told to the reader in the first passage, whereas the time of year in The Diamond Necklace is alluded to by the invitation that...
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...philosophers, for example, have very different views on what accounts for natural and unnatural sex and their account of perverted sexual desires. Thomas Negal is most popular for his belief that sexual perversion is not the actual act itself, but the mindset with which the individual completes the act. On the other hand, Alan Goldman’s theory is that sexual desire is only the longing for physical contact with another human. However, even with these disagreements there seems to be one underlying common theme between both Nagel’s Sexual Perversion, and Goldman’s Plain Sex. It is that another person, or their body, is always the source of sexual pleasure. Nagel stresses that sexual perversions are based upon the notion that, “unnatural sex lies not in the nature of the act performed, but instead on the mindset of the person who performs it” (Nagel, 33). To illustrate this farther, he uses the analogy of sex to that of hunger, explaining how, like the desire to eat, there is also an inherent desire in humans for sex. On the topic of perversion, Nagel explains that what may perverse to someone else, may not be perverse to another. There are of course certain scenarios in which everyone could potentially agree upon the degree of perversity, such as bestiality. He...
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...individual counseling then his wife joined with the intentions of saving their marriage there are many ethical issues that could arise for the therapist. First there is the issue of the secret the husband is hiding about his latest affair, because the counselor did not clearly state her policy on keeping secrets the husband has an expectation of her keeping his secret about his affair. The therapist cannot tell the wife without breaking the confidentiality of the husband, however how can she continue to treat them as a couple if she has to hold this information from the wife when part of the condition for the wife to work on fixing their marriage is based on no further affairs from her husband? The therapist also believes that having an affair interferes with her ability to help the couple and on a personal ethical level she thinks it is wrong, however she must keep her personal feelings out of her sessions with the couple. Either she must continue to treat the couple or refer them to someone else, if she chooses to refer them to someone else she is faced with either telling the wife why or lying to her, either way she would be going against the ethical standards that she has to uphold. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (2001) “Marriage and family therapists have unique confidentiality concerns because the client in a therapeutic relationship may be more than one person. Therapists respect and guard confidences of each individual client,” therefore...
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...The idea of love can have many lies involved in it. People can say they love you when they really don’t. All they want is your money. Like in the Great Gatsby, Daisy didn’t want to wait for Gatsby because he was poor and had nothing to offer. She then got married to Tom who was very wealthy. Daisy thought she had her life all planned out until she met Gatsby again. He was very rich and he was her first love. Now Daisy has to choose between the past love of her life and the love of her life now. Fitzgerald shows a great way of how some people can change just because of money and lies. By weaving together the motifs of materialism and lies throughout the story, Fitzgerald expresses an important theme. In the start of the rising action, Fitzgerald shows these motifs. Early in the story, Nick is introduced to Catherine at Tom’s party. “Catherine has jewelry all over her body and looks at the furniture very possessive”. Nick soon realizes he doesn’t fit in and wants to leave. They get him to stay with a brib off endless liquor and beer. The motif of materialism comes into play here because they can make a man who has gotten drunk two times in his life stay and...
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...Many same sex couples want to get married to deepen their love for each other and to show the world that they will always be together. Marriage is a sign of love and people should be able to marry regardless of their sexual orientation. This country should allow people to choose who he or she wants to marry. Same sex marriage was legalized on July 20, 2005 in Canada. In order to get legally married as a gay or lesbian couple in Canada, there are certain factors that are looked upon. These factors include the presence of a conjugal relationship, the degree of exclusivity of the relationship, and the extent to which the two contribute towards each other's well-being. This is only considered in same sex marriage. If gay and lesbian couples have to prove their love for each other then why don’t straight couple need to prove their love? Gay and lesbian couple have to prove all that just because they like their same sex or they are in minority? It is more difficult to get married as a gay couple rather than a straight couple. It is unethical, people should treat both marriages equally, this country is supposed to be based on equality, but if gay marriages are treated differently, then this country is not equal because it does not treat everyone equally. No matter who they are, what their sexual orientation is, where they live, or where they are from, Canada should embrace them as being the victim of the most multicultural country in the world. Same-sex couples should not be...
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...In the play, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee the dynamics of a modern aged marriage in the 1960’s is explored through the perspectives of George, Martha, Nick, and Honey. These two partners are prime examples of failing marriages in the post industrial world. We observe Martha fail on her commitments to George, and George fall short of Martha’s expectations. Another failure in the partnerships stems from a web of lies sprung from Honey’s lie about their “hysterical pregnancy”, and the exposed motives of Nick’s reasoning behind marrying Honey. Martha and George have an older and more complex relationship than Nick and Honey, and once...
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...Communication is the main constituent for all strong and long-term affiliation between people. In “Sex Lies and Communication: Why Is It So Hard For Men And Women To Talk To Each Other?” Professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen go over the distinctness between men and women and present some answers to the subject. She says that the lack of communication is often the cause of divorce. She noted that most women’s complaints in a marriage or any other relationship were that the women believe that their men do not listen to them. However, after an analysis with many couples and same sex-friends, she concluded that the problem was not that men do not listen, but they listen differently. Throughout her essay, Tannen has focused on the problems and...
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...Marriage is not easy. Unfortunately, even couples with the best intentions can end up in divorce court. There are a number of reasons people get divorced; the following are ten of the most common. Top 10 Reasons Couples DivorceExtramarital AffairsAccording to a report published by AARP, infidelity still plays a significant role in why people file for divorce. However, usually there is an underlying reason that causes a spouse to cheat including anger, resentment, having varied interests, growing apart, or unequal sexual appetites. Weight GainSurprisingly enough, "forever after" often comes with the caveat "as long as you maintain your figure." According to a survey reported by Men's Health, one spouse gaining substantial amounts of weight can be a damper on marital bliss. Once your spouse is no longer turned on or attracted to your body, issues dealing with rejection and resentment can quickly become marriage-threatening issues. MoneyThe American Journal of Sociology recently published a study that found a husband's unemployment can be a key factor behind divorce. In fact, lack of moneycan often cause marital problems to flare into a divorce filing. A married couple facing financial difficulties is often under a lot of stress, which in turn can lead to constant arguing and lack of communications. Couples who don't see eye to eye on spending habits or that are in relationships where one spouse has and controls the finances, often face marital strain that culminates in...
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