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De Dødsdømte

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By dreamkeeper
Words 924
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De dødsdømte
Skønt vort oprørsforsøg var mislykket, blev vi alle dømt til at henrette hinanden. Det var ikke tilladt os at stille spørgsmål, ellers ville vi have spurgt hvad der skulle ske med den der levede længst. Ville han få lov at overleve, fordi han havde medvirket til at henrette flest samfundsfjender? Det var vel især den mulighed for at overleve der gjorde os alle uvillige til at lade os dræbe først. Vi havde alle været nære venner, for ellers havde det ikke været os muligt at holde sammen så længe. Vi havde kæmpet for livet, for vi mente at det var umenneskeligt at dræbe. Vi havde kæmpet for friheden og vi troede – hvad frie mennesker nødvendigvis må – at vi selv var skyld i vor ulykke: havde vi ikke haft svage punkter, havde de ikke kunnet ramme os. Jeg var gruppens filosofiske hoved, og mens vi sad i rundkreds om den elektriske stol hævdede jeg at den som ikke havde haft reelle oprørske hensigter, men som kun havde haft tanke for egen fordel, ikke blot var skyldig i magthavernes øjne, men også i vore. Og de fleste slog øjnene ned. Der var kun én kvinde iblandt os, fordi kvinder sjældent er så oprørske som mænd. To mænd var så unge at de kunne kaldes drenge. To mænd sagde at det tilkom kvinder og børn at leve så længe som muligt. Vi andre sagde at kvinder og børn sandsynligvis ikke burde have været med i bevægelsen. Kvinden mente med sin kvindelogik at vi burde holde sammen til det sidste. Nogle lo, men en af drengene græd, og jo mere vi andre tav, jo højere græd han. Ham dræbte vi først, for den der græder for sit liv er ikke skikket til at være oprører. Men selv han kæmpede tappert til det sidste, og vi pustede af anstrengelse og havde tabt mælet i lang tid. Så rejste vi os og fjernede liget fra den elektriske stol. – Hvorfor holder vi ikke sammen, sagde kvinden og var gråden nær. Men en mand talte som en mand: – Rækkefølgen er ligegyldig for de fem næste. Vita (det var kvinden) bør leve længst. En anden sagde: – Ingen af os bryder os om at dræbe. Den der lever længst har en fordel frem for de andre. Han eller hun bør passe apparatet. Men jeg var modstander af den tanke: – Har vi ikke sat livet ind på at kæmpe mod bødlerne? Hvorfor skal da netop bødlen overleve? Hvorfor skal en være mere skyldig end andre? En fjerde sagde: – Vi bør frivilligt gå i døden. Den som er nærmest til at dø er også nærmest til at dræbe. Til ham sagde drengen og pegede på den elektriske stol: – Værsgo og tag plads. Jeg dræber. Men alle blev siddende og Vita sagde: – Hvorfor nægter vi ikke at dræbe hinanden? Hvad kan de gøre andet end at slå os ihjel? – De piner os ihjel, sagde en. Og jeg sagde: – Selvmordet er mere værdigt end mordet. Og dræber vi os selv frelser vi måske en af os. – Å hvem bryder sig om at blive frelst på den måde, sagde Vita. Men drengen lo: – Hvem bryder sig ikke om det? Ingen svarede, og den dræbende stol var ledig. Det var nødvendigt at sige noget principielt: – Vi har ikke alle haft lige rene motiver til at bekæmpe det morderiske regime. Den, der siger at Vita skal overleve, har måske ingen anden grund til det end at han selv synes bedre om Vita end vi andre. Måske er han kun medlem af gruppen fordi Vita er det. Jeg vidste nemlig at der var et skinsygeforhold mellem to af mændene for Vitas skyld. Og den ene af mændene kastede sig straks over den anden, som havde foreslået at Vita skulle overleve. Han var slået bedøvet før vi satte ham til rette. Vi fjernede ham straks, og jeg sagde: – Den som slog afdøde ned havde private motiver til at gøre det. I samme øjeblik var et slagsmål i gang, vi var stadig tre om Vita og ham, som vi dernæst henrettede, mens Vita skreg. Det var grund nok til at vi derefter henrettede hende. Vi følte os berettigede til det, for vi var uimodtagelige for hendes kvindelige ynder, som ikke mindst dødskampen gjorde iøjnefaldende. Da vi havde pustet ud, sagde drengen: – Jeg ved at det er min tur nu. Det var jer to der sagde at der ikke burde være kvinder og børn i gruppen og I har altid haft ret. I er i flertal. Og han tog plads. Jeg kunne ikke få mig selv til at dræbe ham, for han imponerede mig med sin koldblodighed. Men den anden skyndte sig hen for at udløse strømmen. Jeg spændte ben for ham, og vi overmandede ham i fællesskab. Han var ved bevidsthed da jeg udtalte dødsdommen: – Du tænkte kun på at redde dit eget liv og derfor skal du miste det. Drengen der opførte sig jo ikke som et barn, men som en mand. Den som tør dø frivilligt fortjener at leve. Ventede drengen at jeg efter disse ord skulle gå i stolen for ham – jeg som dog netop havde frelst hans liv? Jeg var skuffet over hans utaknemlighed og vi kæmpede hele natten. Da morgenen kom og vore bødler trådte ind, levede vi begge og hørte dem le: – Forstår I nu at I er lige så uretfærdige og retfærdige som vi andre? Havde I alle levet, havde I alle overlevet. Jeg indså det rigtige i deres tankegang, Men hvem turde tro på en morders moral? Nu lever vi begge som bødler.

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