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Divorce and the Effects on Children

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Divorce and the effects on Children

When most people get married, they don’t go into marriage thinking that in five to ten years they will be getting a divorce; especially after having children. We can sit back and pretend it’s not going to happen but it happens more often than what we realize and children are the most affected by a divorce. Children become disillusioned by a divorce, for better or worse, children look to adults to help make sense of the world they live in. Unfortunately, from the child’s point of view, much of what they are taught defies understanding. It is clear to even the youngest child that what adults say is appropriate behavior bears little resemblance to what adults actually do. Children are keen observers; they see famous men who lie and still hold high office, adults who cheat and yet avoid being caught, and adults who kill in the name of religion. They are all too aware of adults who create problems and neglect to solve them, and adults who abuse themselves or others; but who are nevertheless heralded as heroes. Children not only experience questionable adult behavior at a distance, but also close-up in their own families, are at the most risk for growing up feeling alienated, angry and distrustful of the adult world. There are in excess of fifteen million children in the US who have experienced first hand the dissolution of their family by the process of divorce. Divorce, unfortunately, brings out the worst in people and parenting skills seldom improve. Even when parents are able to see beyond their own emotional, physical and economic difficulties, they make mistakes that will impact the relationship with their children for years to come. In their attempts to look good in their children’s eyes they resort to buying their love, or demeaning the other parent in front of the children. Their desire to spend enough time

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