Personal Narrative

My senior year of High School, I had my mind set on where I was going to college: The Art Institute in Dallas to be a fashion designer. Everyone told me not to go, that I wouldn’t make it a month and wouldn’t be long before I was back home. I was determined to prove my family wrong. My parents and I took a trip to Dallas for a campus tour. I loved every minute of the tour, but on the way home my mom told me that if I wanted to go to school there, I would have to raise the money on my own. After I graduated, I decided to take some side courses like Art and Photography while working to raise the money. Because I was unsure of which career path I wanted to study in school, after two years of working for my family company, they decided it was time for me to look for a job and stop pursing school. At the age of 20 I started working for Cato’s a women’s clothing company, about a year into working there I was named first assistant and no longer thought about going to school or raising the money to go. Just being stuck in a dead end job for the rest of my life. I started drinking and not caring about anything or anyone. This attitude went on for about a year and half, until one Sunday morning my pastor was talking about starting your life over no matter how deep you were. In the middle of the service I realized what I was doing and that I was not only hurting myself, but everyone around me and that I need to stop. I ran out of the service crying. Jenni the pastor’s daughter found me in the corner of the choir room crying my eyes out. We talked about all the things that I was doing and that I wanted to change. How my parents trusted my little sister Leandrea to go to school in Springfield, Mo and not for me to go off to Dallas. By the end of our conversation she had me convinced to apply to Baptist Bible College. I was terrified to say anything to my mom and Leandrea. It took me a few days to tell mom what I wanted to do, but in the end she was happy for me. I didn’t tell Leandrea what I was doing until I got my acceptance letter back. She was more excited that I got in than I was and she had no problem with me going the same school as her. At the age of 22 in the year 2012: I quit my job, packed up everything I owned and moved to Springfield, MO to go to school. I was so nervous, scared and excited at the same, and was defiantly going to prove everyone wrong. I only spent a year at BBC and in that time: I was saved, my relationship with my sister was better than it ever has been, and made lifelong friendships. The reason why I left BBC was that I finally figured out what career path I wanted to pursue and that was Criminal Justice as a legal assistant and BBC didn’t have that degree. I packed up my stuff, said good bye with tears, headed home and never looked back. Once at home the search was on for the perfect school for me. Looking through all the different course catalogs. Knowing that I didn’t want to pay the same amount of money and years to get a certificate, when I could get a degree. Which left me with two choices University of Texas at Tyler or Stephen F. Austin State University. I made a list of pros and cons of both schools, in the end SFASU was the better choice for me. The summer of 2014 was one of the happiest and the hardest times for our family. In May we were getting ready for Leandrea’s wedding, like chickens with their heads cut off. The 17th finally arrived, we hit the ground running trying to find helium to fill the balloons and put finishing touches on everything. I was trying to make sure that everything was perfect with Leandrea being OCD so she didn’t yell or get frustrated with me. I was stressing out because we were running 20 minutes late, when Leandrea stopped me and said “calm down please, you are going to mess up your make up.” “I don’t care about my make up, and we are running late,” I said. “No matter what happens, my wedding day is going to be perfect. Because I get to marry the man of my dreams,” she said. We smiled at each other, hugged and headed out to the trailer. They got married in front of a cross at six o’clock in the evening with the sun beating down on us, it was 102 degrees that day. I got to walk with my little brother Austin. Sweating and with the sun in our eyes waiting patiently for the kiss, hoping that we wouldn’t blink and miss it. We ended the day by waving good bye to the new couple heading to Ohio for their honeymoon. July is when everything went to hell, my family and my school plans. I know that another reason for me leaving BBC, was to make my relationship with Austin stronger. On July 1st, my mom and I found Austin in our bathroom and was bleeding from a gunshot wounded in his head. He died later that evening at the age of nineteen in the emergency room of Trinity Mother Frances Hospital in Tyler, Texas. This day I not only lost a brother, but one of my best friends. Even though I was surrounded by a sea of people, the only person I wanted to see was Leandrea and she was in Springfield, MO. With it only being eight hours away it felt like she was a whole universe away. A week later hoping that we could find our routine again, my uncle Danny died from a heart attack. So my dad lost is his only son and his best friend within a week. It felt like we were in a dark place and couldn’t get out. We decided to still go on vacation, but we were all like zombies walking along the beach in a daze state of mind. When we finally had to face the world again, I sent in my application to Stephen F. Austin State University and yes it was going to be hard for me to hear and see his name everywhere. But I wasn’t going to let that stop me from going to school. I received my acceptance letter January 10, 2015 and registered for classes later that week. Since Leandrea had to move back to Springfield, it was just me and my parents now. So I decided to try to find sorority to join and found Sigma Phi Lambda Sisters for the Lord. This group of young ladies has encouraged me in so many ways that I don’t even know how to repay them back. The summer before my second semester my nana and I were out running errands. We were eating lunch when she told that she never thought that I would make it past the first semester, it made me so mad. I just wanted to sit there and ball my eyes out, but I put on a brave face and wait until I got home to let it all out with my mom. I am now a 26 years old sophomore working on my third semester, and planning on going all the way to graduation. So I ended up proving myself wrong in that I could go back to school and at my age. I can’t wait to prove my family wrong as well.