Eulogy for Troy

My father has died from a heart attack when he was swinging a bat at the baseball in our yard. I remembered that when he alive, my relationship with my father was not good because he did not approve me to play for the college football game. One time, I came back and steps over my Pop on the porch without saying excuse me. Then he picked a fight with me, and I was not afraid of him. He asserted his manhood and role as father by forcing the respect issue with me, who disrespectfully refuses to say "excuse me" to his father. He told me to leave the house and lived on my own since I did not respect him anymore. He said that: “You just another nigger on the street to me!” At that time, I was very angry, and I can not control myself. I talked back to him and point out that the house was not his property. That should be owned by Uncle Gabe whose government paychecks paid for the most mortgage payments. We were very angry and could not control ourselves. Then he was suddenly attacked me, and I was hitting him back with the baseball bat but it did not hit him. My Pop finally kicked me out of the house, and told me not to come back. He would take my belonging next to the fence. I leave the house and I joined in the Marines later on. The day I came back was the day of my Pop’s funeral. At first, I still not happy with his decision for not letting me play in the college football team, so I did not want to go to the funeral. Then my mom told me something that make me feel regret. She said: “I do know he meant to do more good than harm.” Also, she teaches me that not attending at my father’s funeral does not make me a man. When I singing the Blue song with Raynell which my grandpa taught my father originally, I realized that my father wanted to give his child a better life than his life. I felt sorry for what I did to him and did not understand him well