Crystal Peraza CIP Paper
Susan Owens
Com 110-020
February 1st, 2012

My parents have always told me that even as a little girl I was never shy about speaking my mind or saying hello to perfect strangers. In grocery stores I would announce my doubt at my father’s excuse for not buying my favorite cereal; “What do you mean you have no money?! You have a job!” I suppose you could say I embarrassed him quite a few times. As I’ve gotten older, I’m much more mindful of the things I say and to whom I say them. However, I’m just as outgoing, if not more. I am a “perfect” balance of being shy and putting myself out there. It all depends on the context in which interaction is happening. At work, I meet strangers everyday and I don’t mind making conversation with them as I walk them to a table and talking to them as if I’d known them for years. In a new classroom setting, I don’t generally mind being myself—but the shyness of the people around me makes me feel even more reserved. I’m generally very comfortable talking to new people and absolutely love listening and learning about others. It has always been strange to me that as much as I love talking to people, I’m absolutely terrified of speaking in front of them. I’m typically bubbly and fun and the second the spotlight is on me, I get very quiet and feel terribly awkward. As I go on with the speech, it gets worse because I’m worried that people see me as some shaky freak. One thing that I would hope this class could help me with is to communicate a point more effectively. I typically know what I want to say and what I’m trying to get across to someone, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing it in the most effective way. I believe that the speeches alone in this class will help me out; by going through the speech myself and watching classmates and see how they present their ideas could give me ideas for myself. I also feel that the speech lab will be of great help to me. A perfect stranger watching me and giving me feedback before I actually present the speech would be very beneficial—I’m all for constructive criticism! Another thing I would like to work on is my anxiety. Speeches really just drive me wild in the worst way possible. I get shaky, sweaty hands, my heart feels like it’s jumping out of my chest, and my stomach drops like its about to fall out of my butt—it’s a recipe for disaster. With my body freaking out, my brain wants to control itself but instead, I give my speech in a word-vomit-esqe manner—too fast and messy. I’m not exactly sure how I will overcome this. I know that just giving the speeches could help me a bit, but trust me when I say I have gotten a panic attack from a speech. The class as a whole just scares me. However, I already feel fairly comfortable with the students in my group speech—therefore, getting to know the rest of the peers in the class can help eliminate the stress that the speech would put on me. If I’m familiar with at least 10 people in there, I won’t feel so panicked. It’s easier to put yourself out there, especially when doing any formal speaking when you have some familiar faces staring at you. I would prefer no faces staring back at me, but that is just something I hope will not bother me by the end of this semester. One thing I tend to do, which I totally blame my 8th grade communications teacher for, is I know what I want to say and start out with a point but sometimes my mind wanders and I can go off on tangents about things that are barely relevant to the topic at hand. I’ve worked on it as the years have gone by, but even in writing papers, I can still somehow manage to add a tidbit of information that has no business being there. My teacher in 8th grade always encouraged us to write and treat some of our papers as journals. She said, “If your thoughts abruptly take to a new idea, just go with it and keep writing.” Nice and insightful in one aspect, but terrible advice for writing papers in high school and college. I got so used to her style of writing, and it doesn’t help that I’m a dreamer/journal-type girl, that I had the hardest type writing papers. I hope this class will just eliminate that problem and teach me to write papers and present my ideas like a normal, educated person. Getting rid of this problem will most definitely help me convey messages much more effectively. When it comes to listening to someone else give a speech, I am all his or hers. I give my undivided attention trying my best to follow the message being conveyed. Sometimes I don’t always understand something when it is first said, but if I keep on listening, I can get the point. I actually thoroughly enjoy listening to someone else speak—their speech can bring about thoughts and ideas I’ve never had or force me to think a little more or less on something that they’ve brought up. I appreciate when a person tells me about something they are passionate about and try to get me to understand it—I may not always agree on a point of view, but I’m glad I have the option to see from their side or stick to my own.