Free Essay

Facts of Life

In: English and Literature

Submitted By flemmingchristen
Words 1383
Pages 6

Lazyboy (Søren Rasted): Facts of life

This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
These are the facts of the life that we live
This is who we are
Bae facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are...
- so help me god

Did you know, that 1 out of 4 americans has appered on tv?
Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?
Every day 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents
The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
Cannabis is the most widely abused druk in the world
The average person laughs 13 times a day
Elvis was originally blond
The average age of first intercourse is 15,3 years old
The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised
Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexsual eksperience
Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?

This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
These are the facts of the life that we live
This is who we are
Bae facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are...

22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britian
96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm
3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt batteri works on their tongue
The 'Guiness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in the public libraries
Butterflies taste with their feet
5% of the population is gay
The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'
The giraf can clean its ears with its tongue
Charles Chaplin once won 3. price in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'
In 1995 a japanese trawler sank because a russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30.000 feet
Only one book has been printet in more copies than the bible - the IKEA-catalogue

This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
These are the facts of the life that we live
This is who we are
The facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are...

1 cigaret takes away five minutes of a person's life
In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people
(time is ticking, ticking, yeah...)
'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants
74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists
More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders
21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep
Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm - unfortunately it got stolen

This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
Yeah, yeah...
This is who we are
Bare facts of the live we live
This is who we are, this is what we do
This is who we are, this is what we do

- so help me God

The lyrics to Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen, by Mary Schmich:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

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