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Finding Yourself

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By aaaaaaaaaaawe
Words 716
Pages 3
Ana Westerman
27 February 2013
Finding Yourself I walked in the door Wednesday, February 15, 2012 with a huge smile on my face. My life was going just great. I had great friends, a serious boyfriend, and I was just doing my thing. As I walked into my room my dad followed me and shut the door. I instantly knew something was wrong. My dad started to talk and I wasn't paying attention because life was finally starting to be great. Thirty seconds later it finally hit me what was being said. "Your grandpa died." My grandpa has been struggling with diabetes, cancer, broken bones, blood transfusions and dialysis. He has had on step in death's door for the past twelve years. "He may be the solider, but he's not the only one serving" My family was behind him 100%. Not only my family, but everyone who knew him admired and loved him. He may be fighting, but he wasn't fighting alone. The four years when my grandpa didn't have heath problems- I don't remember. When I really started to know him, he had severe health problems, but you would've never known. I admire how he wouldn't let this take over his life-he wouldn't let them win. In February of 2012, my family and I would go up to Wisconsin, where he lived, multiple times and stay for a long period because he supposedly wasn't going to make it. I've heard that phrase for the past five years, and he's made it- so why would this be any different? We all knew he wasn't going to leave with out putting up a fight. He's been fighting for the last decade of his life, why would he change that now? "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall be no mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" Revelation 21:4 This was the verse read at his funeral. When I heard those words was when I realized, my grandpa was not dead- his body was. He was a spiritual being with a human experience; not a human being with a spiritual experience. His time on earth was over, but his time in my life will forever be there. I was in church service one Sunday morning where they read Revelation 21:3 and I felt a pushing on my chest. I automatically knew it was him. He will always be a part of my life no matter where he is. On Friday, February 15, 2013 was his one year anniversary. Not a lot of people know about him, including my boyfriend. I brought my boyfriend to a cemetery in Cedar Falls- even though my grandpa was buried in Wisconsin, but I thought it was necessary. While we were admiring the beautiful grave stones, we kissed. I opened my eyes mid kiss and saw a shooting star. I knew it was my grandpa saying he was proud of me and what I am becoming. It meant so much to me. My whole life I've never had someone be proud of me. My family looks down on me because they only see the bad side of me. They only see that side because that's the only side of me I ever show. I don't know how to show that good side. I've never show it because I don't open up to people and that is never going to change even though that's why my family gets so upset. After my grandpa died, I started talking to him at night. People might think it was too late to open up to him, but for me it was perfect timing. talking to him helped me be more vulnerable. I hate showing my feelings, but talking to god and my grandpa showed me that they will not judge= only comfort, which is what I wish I could say about people on Earth. My grandpa is a great role model. I would list all his achievements, but that doesn't show the person he was, is, and will be. His death might of ended his life as a human being, but it just started in someone's heart. He will never be forgotten simply because he isn't gone.

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