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Gift Love

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By jenniferannsharp
Words 1534
Pages 7
It is my opinion that over the centuries, spiritual and moral thinkers have prescribed ways of living that lead to greater happiness over the course of a lifetime, and the best of them from Socrates to Buddha, from Jesus to Maimonides, have powerfully lived out what they taught.
The goal of a good life, they have all agreed, is a deep happiness consistent with simplicity, integrity, and a profound generosity. The great thinkers have never thought of happiness as primarily rooted in the hedonic indulgence of the senses, but rather they have described a sense of well-being and satisfaction that comes from a higher purpose pursued over time. Opinion has differed as to how happy we can expect to become in this mixed up world, and as to what goals and purposes in life really deliver on happiness.
I wish to say that I have not always been a happy person, despite my ability to seem to make those around me happy. The key spiritual secret of any happier and healthier life is the deeper kindness that can be captured with the term "Gift-love," a term borrowed from C.S. Lewis.
We are all too often obsessed in life with what Lewis termed "Need-love," loving and seeking the things we need, from good food to a decent coat for the winter. We certainly all need and seek to be loved, for if we do not receive love we will not be able to give it away. Yet even when we pursue the things we need, it is often not just for ourselves, but for the nearest and dearest who depend on us.
This points to the other side of life, to “Gift-love”, a sincere love of others that is commonly taught by exhortation but is really transmitted by example. My thesis, more clearly stated, is that as a side-effect or by-product of Gift-love we generally feel happier and are healthier over the whole of a life.
This thesis is old, but it can be forgotten, so it bears repeating from time to time. Indeed,

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