Premium Essay

Handling Chicks

In: Novels

Submitted By medumiku
Words 87747
Pages 351
A**HOLE'S GUIDE

DAN I N D A N T E AND KARL MARKS

ST.

MARTIN'S GRIFFIN

N EW Y O R K

A**HOLE'S GUIDE

THE COMPLETE A**HOLE's GUIDE TO HANDLING CHICKS. C o p y r i g h t © 2 0 0 3

by Dan Indante and Karl Marks. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010. www.stmartins.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Indante, Dan. The complete a**hole's guide to handling chicks / Dan Indante and Karl Marks. p . cm. ISBN 0-312-31084-6 1. Man-woman relationships. 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Tide: Complete a**hole's guide to handling chicks. II. Marks, Karl. III. Title. HQ801.M37135 307-dc21 2003 2002045213

10

9

8

CONTENTS

Introduction: Chicks, What the Fuck? Fifty Tips on Being a Better Asshole

ix xiii

1. From Birth to Beating Off The Birth of an Asshole The Purest Form of Asshole Gimme My Toy, You Bitch! Crossing the Dance Floor How Do I Get Her? The Beginning of the End Roughing Up the Suspect

1 1 1 2 3 4 6

2. High School Welcome Mat Firsts The Back-Seat Boogie Chicks Are the Enemy Watch Your Back—Your Friends Won't

8 8 9 15 16 20

vi

C O N T E N T S

Pecking Order Your First Pincushion So You're Looking to Get Laid High School Final Examination

22 29 31 32

3. College Welcome Mat Your High School Girlfriend You're Not in Kansas Anymore The Chick Roster—Understanding the Enemy The Male Pecking Order Whither the Chicks? Building Your Rep Dating (i.e., Getting Blackout-Drunk and Having Sex) Buttering Her Biscuit College Final Examination

34 34 35 38 42 51 52 56 63 69 70

4. Ages 21-27 Welcome Mat You're Not in…...

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...Chick-fil-A: "Give More. Grow More. Be More" Chick-fil-A isn’t just an ordinary fast-food restaurant. It is a successful restaurant with certain stables values such as respect and loyalty by Samuel Truett Cathy. Chick-fil-A, Inc. is committed to creating an encouraging and dynamic work environment for its 600 plus staff employees. Its corporate offices provide an engaging environment in which to work and the people carry a variety of experience, creativity and enthusiasm to their jobs. Dan Cathy, Truett Cathy’s son steps in his father’s place. Dan Cathy is a good man with solid honor. He runs a fair and valuable service-oriented restaurant business and he works to make a positive impact on people’s lives and in the communities where we live. Year after year, people find their careers at Chick-fil-A, Inc. to be challenging and rewarding. Cathy loves to add service touches that people don't expect from a fast-food restaurant. The significance of Chick-fil-A is the reputation itself. The staff of each restaurant is superior and sharp. Each team member has an enthusiasm and positive attitude. The service was excellent and outstanding. There is a method where they use to please their customers: the Core 4. The Core 4 steps are enthusiastic tone, enthusiastic smile, emotional connection, and eye contact. The Core 4 requires the correct approach toward a customer from a team member. This technique will emphasize the customers and make them come to a good......

Words: 1152 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Chick Fil a

...Pricing of Chick-Fil-A. This research discusses what price adaptations should Chick-fil-A include in its marketing plan. Price Adaptations Price adaptation is the ability of a business to change its pricing models to suit different geographic areas, consumer demands and prevailing incomes (Lister & Media, 2013). The more adaptability Chick-fil-A has, the better chance it has of appealing to more customers. Geographic pricing is a strategy Chick-fil-A already has in its marketing plan. The company prices its products differently within different regions. The prices are higher in areas when income is high, and is reduced when income is lower. Locations are usually in shopping malls and neighborhoods with a high volume of its target customers (Ahmad & Buttle, 2002). Chick-fil-A remains priced higher than most fast food chains, with prices comparable to Wendy's (Higgins, 2001). Product discounts is an area Chick-fil-A should utilize more often in its marketing plan. Product discounts are used to attract bargain hunting customers. Theses discounts would allow Chick-fil-A to stimulate new excitement about the company. This may also attract the interest of lower income customers; allowing those customers to try products they may not usually be able to afford. Chick-fil-A should also extend their existing discounts to all stores. 10% military and senior discount is only given at certain locations. More seniors and members of the military would buy from Chick-fil-A if......

Words: 484 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Grievance Handling

...Grievance Handling Grievance is defined as ‘cause for complaint or annoyance’. Before the machine age, when a handful of workers worked directly for an employer, grievance handling was a one-step procedure : the worker directly approached his boss who gave a decision on the issue. The machine age has introduced a vast echelon of intermediary supervision between the principal employer and the rank-and-file worker. Increase in the number of workers and supervisors in a complicated industrial unit, has led to an increased number of grievances of varying types at different levels. No longer can an employer nonchalantly brush aside the problem of handling grievances as a trivial function. Those who have done so have reaped the whirlwind. A grievance is the embryo of more serious trouble to come, and whether real or imagincary, it is a canker in the organisation and calls for prompt and effective measures. If it is real, the need for curative action is obvious; if it is imaginary, the need to explain and clear up the atmosphere is all the more imperative. Prompt and effective handing of grievances is the key to industrial peace. In our country particularly, where illiteracy is high and people from villagers seek employment in the laien atmosphere of an industrial unit, grievances are many and varied. Operations, procedures and supervisory techniques are not easily understood and lead to grievances. An induction programme coupled with a well understood and sound grievance......

Words: 973 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Chick Fil a

...Chick–fil–A is known for its production of chicken products in the fast food industry. They have a strong Christian foundation that the founder bases the company’s underlying core values on. It has more than 1,700 restaurants in 39 states and posted sales of more than 4.6 billion dollars in 2012. Chick-fil-As’ headquarters are located in the heart of Atlanta, Georgia where the company began back in 1946 as the Dwarf Grill owned and operated by Truett Cathy. Chick-fil-A’s consecutive years of positive sales growth has set itself apart by revolutionizing delicious chicken products. Chick-fil-A’s mission statement is similar to most fast food restaurant’s missions. “Be America’s best quick service restaurant” (www.chick-fil-a.com) As a company, Chick-fil-A has become the 2nd largest quick service restaurant in the country and is one of the largest privately held restaurant chains in the world. Chick-fil-A’s mission statement alone does not reveal the companies disposition and values that has driven its loyal customer base and success. The company’s mission statement combined with its purpose statement reveals the company’s values which are instilled into every employee of Chick-fil-A. "To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.” (www.chick-fil-a.com) The company’s mission statement and purpose statement is what differentiates Chick-fil-A from the rest of the quick......

Words: 1680 - Pages: 7

Free Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...Chick-fil-A Dustin Grace BUS 360-Belhaven University Over time more and more people have become busier in their everyday lives. Therefore, there is less time to prepare and cook meals for the family. As more parents are on the go, the more they appreciate establishments like fast food restaurants. These types of restaurants are convenient and for the most part inexpensive. Customers can drive up to the drive-thru window to get their food if they don’t want to leave the comfort of their car. They also have the option of going inside and sitting down to enjoy their meal. There are many fast food chains around, but none compare to the phenomenon known as Chick-fil-A. As the company’s name reveals, Chick-fil-A centers their business around chicken. Their slogan that you’ll see on most billboards “Eat Mor Chikin,” is provoking just that. There isn’t a hamburger to be found on the menu. In Chick-fil-A’s case, chicken equals gold and boy do they serve it in many different ways. What genius came up with the novel idea of centering and entire restaurant around chicken? That man would be Truett Cathy. It was the year 1946 when Truett Cathy started his career in the restaurant industry. Mr. Cathy and his brother did not attend a restaurant school and had not knowledge on how to run a restaurant. They both served in the United States Army during World War II. When they came back to the United States after......

Words: 2579 - Pages: 11

Premium Essay

Cash Handling

...Procedures 11 Self Assessment Test 12 Training Manual Cash Handling Procedures This Manual is designed to provide you, the employee, with the full knowledge of all procedures associated with cash handling in your establishment. You will be aware of all company procedures for dealing with credit card transactions and also the steps to take to prevent fraud. [pic] Trainee Information Name: ____________________________________________ Manager: ____________________________________________ Training Commenced: ______ / ______ / ______ (DD/MM/YYYY) Training Completed: ______ / ______ / ______ (DD/MM/YYYY) Assessment Completed: ______ / ______ / ______ (DD/MM/YYYY) Certificate of Completion I _______________________ (Manager/Supervisor) hereby certify that _______________________ (Employee Name) has successfully completed their training in “Cash Handling Procedures” and is fully qualified under the requirements of the establishment in which they are employed herewith. ____________________________________ (Signature of Manager/Supervisor) ____________________________________ Date ____________________________________ (Signature of Trainee) ____________________________________ Date Congratulations! [pic] Introduction This manual is designed to assist you in the everyday tasks associated with handling credit and cash transactions. You will become fully aware of......

Words: 1472 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...Chick-Fil-A Case Study Marketing Principles 3/11/2011 Jamie Roof I very much enjoyed listening to this video case. I had no idea what Chick-Fil-A came from and why it is so good. The only time I have come across the restaurant is when I am shopping. I tend not to eat when I shop so my experience with this company is very minimal. It is very good from what I remember. I am a big foodie and love trying new things. It is very refreshing to see a restaurant start off the way it did with hard work and dedication and then seeing what it has become many years later. I also think it is wonderful to see the founding family still involved in present operations. The entire campaign for Chick-Fil-A gives me a chuckle every time I come across it. The fact the menu is all chicken products with a cow spokesman are very ironic and perfect at the same time. I really like beef, but chicken tends to be a much healthier alternative. I like to know how my food is being prepared and for that reason, I usually steer clear of fast food restaurants. It was very nice to see a company that hand breads its chicken daily in order to preserve freshness and quality. When the VP of Marketing was talking about the chain, I agreed most with his comments regarding the fact consumers will spend money on quality ingredients. With that being said, Chick-Fil-A does have a slightly higher price tag than some other top competitors, but the quality is bar none. I will spend more for quality. I think most...

Words: 850 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...Chick-fil-A 11th November 2014 Dan Cathy made a comment on a radio show about gay marriage. He stated we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. Information was leaked that Chick-fil-A was funding anti-gay groups. People are boycotting Chick-fil-A. Sales are declining. How issues will be addressed: Statement released by Chick-fil-A stating that the company will leave the debate over gay marriage to the government. Friendship between Cathy and LGBT leader will be shown in the media. Internal analysis 1. Ranked 13TH amongst quick- serve restaurant franchises 2. Lower advertising budget 3. Low debts 4. Pace of expansion is lower 5. Private family-owned, simple organization structure 6. Gay marriage controversy 7. Quality was the pride 8. Varied menu 9. Loyalty from customers and employees External Analysis 1. Numerous awards for customer service- Corporate social responsibility 2. Minimal franchisee fee as compared to KFC. 3. One operator one restaurant 4. Closed on Sunday- loss of market 5. Charity, community involvement 6. Competitors – McDonald’s , Burger king, Taco Bell, Subway, KFC 7. New outlets to drive growth 8. Fluctuating prices 9. New health care reforms impact 10. Criticism from media 11. Controversy for supporting bilingual marriages Strategies 1. Release stronger, more......

Words: 374 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Mixed Chicks

...Questions and Reponses, Scarborough, Case 1 (Mixed Chicks), page 674. 1. Why is securing proper intellectual property protection such as trademarks, patents and copyrights important for entrepreneurs? Answer: Especially in this case, securing proper intellectual property protection is very important. As mentioned in the text, small businesses do not have the cash and time to be involved in law suits. The small business had a great idea with their hair products and made a good amount of money until a retail giant sold a cheaper version of their product. The small business can file a lawsuit however will be put at risk if they do not win it. An entrepreneur can fail or succeed as we all know. It is very important to have a copyright, trademark or patent in case the product is very successful. If there is not any protection, the case (Mixed chicks) shows what can happen. (Scarborough, 2015, 674; WSJ, Sept 25, 2011) 2. Analyze advantages and the disadvantages of filing a trademark infringement lawsuit against the large chain selling Mixed Silk products? Conduct the same analysis for filing a lawsuit. Answer: Filing a trademark infringement in court would have several advantages. Etheridge and Levy would get the exclusive rights to sell the product as they designed it. Other companies cannot sell the product or a similar version of it that would confuse the customer and make them believe that it was the original product. The small business would not have to worry about......

Words: 751 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Handling Misscommunication

...Handling Miscommunication Ernesto Rivas University of Phoenix Handling Miscommunication ER Consulting identified the breakdown of communication between departments in Alpha Bio Chemical, Inc. Recommendations and solutions will be suggested to establish policies and procedures to be followed so the odds of a crisis will be reduced; and in the long run save Alpha Bio Chemicals, Inc. time and money. Background Carl Robins became the new campus recruiter for Alpha Bio Chemicals, Inc.; he hired 15 new scientists to work for Monica Carrolls, the Operations Supervisor. Carl was to schedule the new hire orientation by June 15th and provide housing for them also. The new scientists were to start working by July. Monica contacted Carl on May 15th in regards to training schedules, orientation, new hire manuals, policy booklets, physicals, drug test, and other issues that must be prepared for the hiring of new employees. Carl advised Monica that everything would be taken care of by the time the new employees were to arrive. In the beginning of June Carl started to finalize the paperwork for orientation and discovered that some of the new scientist did not have applications completed, transcripts on file or mandatory drug screens. After he discovered that, Carl began to search for orientation manuals and found a few copies which had missing pages. Carl stopped by the training room where the orientation was going to take place to see if the......

Words: 622 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...1. Describe how Chick-fil-A’s timeline to new grilled chicken followed the four-step control process outlined in the chapter. Step 1: Establish the standards of performance, goals, or targets against which performance is to be evaluated. Chick-fil-A established the standards by holding focus groups to understand what customers wanted in grilled chicken. Their goal was to improve their chicken and their target was to make significant profit with the new grilled chicken. Step 2: Measure actual performance By having a focus group, Chick-fil-A was able measured the actual performance needed to improve their grilled chicken. Chick-fil-A created a prototype grill in a lab and had test tasting. Step 3; Compare actual performance against chosen standards of performance. In step three, Chick–fil-A evaluated hundreds of grilled chicken recipes and narrowed down the flavor profile. Step 4: Evaluate the result and initiate corrective action if the standard is not being achieved. After a seven year process, Chick-fil-A spent over 50 million dollars to create their new grilled chicken. The 50 million dollars included “new automated” grills. Chick-fil-A is evaluating how well in profit their new grilled chicken does versus the 7 percent they were previously making in sales with the chargrilled sandwich. If sales go well, the company is considering adding a second grill and removing fryers. 2. The goal of Chick-fil-A’s new chicken items is to improve the company’s image......

Words: 417 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Chick-Fil-a

...Vaughn Jim Maxson BUSN 3513 16 July, 2015 Chick-Fil-A The restaurant I visited was Chick-Fil-A on East Kenosha Street in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. I visited Chick-Fil-A on Monday July 27, 2015 at 3:40 PM. When recording my data I used a pen and paper and I sat in the middle of the restraint so I was able to see everyone as they came inside and ordered their food. Chick-Fil-A on East Kenosha recently opened up a few months ago. When they first opened their doors to the public, they handed every customer that entered in the restraint gift cards for a free breakfast sandwich. That was the first time I have ever seen a fast food restraint do something like that for their customers. Chick-Fil-A is very considerate of their customers. The Chick-Fil-A foundation was founded to serve as the generous arm of Chick-Fil-A, Inc., dedicated to youth and education and community leadership. In 2014, Chick-Fil-A donated a million dollars to twenty five organizations across the nation through the inaugural True Inspiration Awards for their commitment to giving back to their communities (About Chick-Fil-A). Chick-Fil-A is also very committed to their employees so they offer their employees a scholarship opportunity to their employees so that they can further their education if they choose to do so. It known as the Leadership Scholarship Program. No other company in terms of size does as much in the scholarship area as Chick-fil-A (Chick-Fil-A Press Release). The company awarded......

Words: 824 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Manual Handling

...Manual handling café and restaurant industry Industry injury data shows that kitchen hands, cooks, waiters and chefs across all age categories sustain the highest number of injuries. Most of the injuries occur when lifting, handling or reaching and most commonly result in sprains and strains of muscles and joints. Manual handling is the most common The Commission for Occupational Safety and Health Code of Practice on Manual Handling outlines a three-step approach to control manual handling risks: ➢ hazard in the café Identify all hazards associated with manual handling by looking at: ● ● work environment and layout; ● work organisation; and ● industry. load; ● and restaurant actions/postures; skills and experience of workers. ➢ This bulletin is designed to assist Assess the risk arising from the hazards. ➢ Decide on and use appropriate control measure. The purpose of this bulletin is to identify risks and suggest possible control measures to assist retailers in meeting their obligations under the Occupational Safety and Health Act 1984. retailers manage manual handlng risks. Manual handling hazards and possible controls Actions and postures Reaching above shoulder height Many cafés and restaurants require employees to carry out manual handling tasks above shoulder height and below knee height where food, plates and other stored items are kept. When reaching for items above......

Words: 1499 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Chick Fil a Sustainability

...Over the past couple of years Chick-fil-A has implemented a company wide environmental stewardship initiative, which is aimed at reducing its waste and energy/water consumption. All of Chick-fil-A’s newly designed restaurants include many innovative features that cut down on the annual amount of water and energy used. These new restaurants include low-flow water fixtures in the restroom and kitchen as well as an underground cistern that collects water and reuses it for landscape irrigation. As a result, these newly designed Chick-fil-A restaurants will use 40 percent less water than a typical restaurant. Not only do these new eco-friendly restaurants conserve water but they are also energy efficient. They now feature skylights in the dining area and windows in the kitchen as well as energy efficient appliances. These new changes have reduced energy usage by 14 percent per restaurant. Chick-fil-A has also decided to construct new restaurants with materials that do not emit harmful gasses. This means that new restaurants contain 30 percent more fresh air than a typical building. On the other hand, Taco Bell’s restaurants do not contain many water and energy conserving features. Although their restaurants are not very eco-friendly, the company has taken some steps to reduce their restaurant’s energy and water usage. Over 5,600 Taco Bell restaurants nationwide have implemented the grill to order process, which has saved $5,900 a year in electricity per store. Taco Bell has......

Words: 424 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Chick Fila

...CASE 7 CHICK-FIL-A: BIRD OF A DIFFERENT FEATHER STRATEGY MANAGEMENT COMPETIVENESS AND GLOBALIZATION, CONCEPT AND CASES BY 02/23/2016 Executive Summary. This case analysis evaluates Chick-fil-A. It is designed to show the Strength, weakness, opportunities and threat. It delineates how the founding principles have guided the company over the years, and how it has responded slowly to change over the years. CFA has grown to be a force to reckon with in the industry with strength in customer experience and sandwich trademark. However, the emerging markets, social changes, economic issues and intense rivalry will continue to pose threat to this strong cultured company. At the end of the case analysis, we would have been able to devise possible solutions for the present and future times. Background. The story of Chick-fil-A will be incomplete without the man who turned a dwarf house into a giant brand. Samuel Truett Cathy was born in 1921 into a religious family and in fact was named to honor a Baptist evangelist. These factors would plan a significant role in Cathy’s life. At an early stage, Cathy developed entrepreneurial skills; he delivered papers and sold Coca cola and helped with the meals. And at the age of 25, he and his brother opened their first restaurant- Dwarf House. Cathy soon realized he could prepare chicken faster and insert between two buns. He went ahead to trademark the name Chick-fil-A borrowed from the then steak fillets. Cathy explored......

Words: 2451 - Pages: 10