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Implications of Chronic Apologizing

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Submitted By smiles1121
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I was socially conditioned from a young age to be a chronic apologizer. I apologize for everything, even if I do not exactly mean it. I apologize if I ask a question in class. I apologize when I am late for an appointment. I apologize when I am too early for an appointment. I apologize when someone else feels unhappy with something I did not do, and I apologize for things I have no control over. I know I apologize “too much” and frankly, I am probably the most sorry for that too. I do not feel alone, however, because I know that these apologetic body practices that have been established in our society through a deeply ingrained binary system have encouraged females to feel less worthy than what they deserve, and many of us have used apologizing to mask the negative self-images we possess. By definition, apologizing is intended to be a sincere way to express regret for an action, but the use of apologies have been mutated by our culture as a way to cover up insecurities or qualify an assertion, and women especially have fallen victim to this practice. Excessive apologizing is a behavior that is established early on in childhood development and is seen in multiple areas of life, particularly in athletic activities and in the workplace.
I have been apologizing for everything for as long as I can remember. A problem I see with my own personal chronic apologizing is that my brothers do not suffer from this mild social debilitation, even though we were all raised in a similar setting. The controls in our child-rearing experiment were: the same two parents, same environment, same nutrition, and even similar experiences. The biggest variable was the different behavior each of us was expected to exhibit in an identical situation. I made similar observations when working as a daycare teacher. Oftentimes, the young girls were encouraged to “be nice” while the...

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