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Inter and Inner Personal

In: Other Topics

Submitted By ksyksy11
Words 1129
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Case study 2
In case study 2, it is found that there are a few problems Kelly has.
First, it is the communication in Kelly’s family is poor. It is the main problem to Kelly, and there exist a chain reaction in it, so there are other problems are applied in her situation. From the passage, Kelly’s family is keeping to instil Kelly that she is the eldest daughter and she have to help her younger siblings. From the behavioral of her parents doing to brag about Kelly, it is pressuring Kelly indirectly. Since the parenting styles (Baumrind, 1991) of Kelly’s parent is authoritarian. They are keep demanding Kelly to do for the best and being a helpful daughter and do the best sister to take care her younger siblings. And they reject Kelly that not to go for further study. In Kelly’s family it is adult-centered, and her parents control the child’s welfare. Also, Kelly obey their parents invisible rule, careful not to do anything wrong in front of them. The typical Family Life Cycle (Olson & McCubbin, 1983), it mention that in stage 3, which a family with children in elementary or high school, just like Kelly’s family. In this stage, it is better for Kelly’s parents to establish the foundations of the children’s self-esteem, values, and lives. The parent-child relationships exert critical influences on children’s identities and self-concepts. But to Kelly’s parents, maybe because they have to work all day long, they just hope that Kelly can help to reduce their responsibility in their family. So they always use what they wants to apply in Kelly, and they become kind of ignoring Kelly’s feeling.
Second, it the self-identification problem. According to Erikson’s (1963) 8 psychosocial stages, In Kelly’s age stage, which is aging 12 – 19, the development of personal identity, which means the inner sameness and continuity are so important. From the passage, it mentioned that Kelly wants to be like her friends to study at University but does not want her parents disappointed. In this crossroad, she was so lost and she did not know what to do. She was so lost to choose which gateway is actually suitable for her. In her Life Position (Harris, 1969), if she chooses to study in college, it will be “I am OK, You are not OK”. But if she chooses to work, the life position will be “I am not OK, You are OK”.
Third, it is the emotion problem. It is mentioned that it is very stressful for Kelly to study in her DSE examinations which she felt she must do well in. In this situation, she cannot manage her emotion well, and also there were lots of annoyance appear, the emotion of Kelly is keeping stressful. Also, she was so disappointed that her result of DSE examination were not good enough, she cannot handle disappointment well.
So, there are some suggestion for Kelly to solve these problems: 1. For improving her family communication, it is better for Kelly’s parents to change their parenting style to be authoritative, which is family-centered. They can set the guidelines while their child, including Kelly, needs and autonomy is respected. The more specific actions are to communicate with Kelly more, since they think it is better for Kelly to find a job to work in order to help support the family instead of studying in a college, this thinking is based on what they want and before knowing what Kelly actually wants. While the center was change into family-centered, Kelly’s parent should not control Kelly’ welfare. After having a better understanding of Kelly, they can spend more time to discuss with Kelly, try to figure out the best way for Kelly to go together, and make a guidelines for Kelly to achieving her goals. From the positive parenting behaviors (Hanna, S.L., Suggett, R. and Radkte, D., 2010), demonstrating warmth and affection, it also can help improving the communication of Kelly’s family, it can show the family warmth to every family members. 2. For the self-identification, Kelly always care what her parents expectation, and she seems like see her parent as more restrictive. Because of the parenting style of her parents. She cannot inspired any self-identities and self-concepts from her family. So it is better for her to have a clear mind of self-concept. Self-concept (Rosenberg, 1979), “The totality of your thoughts and feelings with reference to yourself as an object.” Sometimes it is better for Kelly to think of “me”, “I” and not “My parents”. In Kelly’s situation, she really care about what her parents thinking, even more than her own feeling. After she defines what she actually she wants, and she can define it assured, she can make choice. But It is believe that after her parents change their parenting style, helping her to have a well self-concept, these problems will not be appeared. 3. For the emotion problem, it is better for Kelly to know how managing emotions are so important and the steps and ways to manage her negative emotion. From the passage, it is concluded that Kelly was stressful, depressed and disappointed , these kind of negative emotion may lead to some physical effect, as “Negative feelings of anger, anxiety, and depression if strong and prolonged, can make us more vulnerable to disease” (Goleman, 1997). If we absorb too much negative emotion, the feeling of rage will be uncontrolled and depression will keep appear. So it is better for Kelly to know her emotion, notice why her emotion getting changes, and recognize different emotion will come up with different situation, then think more wisdom and replace negative thoughts , and last, find a healthy way to express your emotion (e.g. find someone to talk to, listen to music ).
There are still a lot of methods for Kelly to solve the problems, also during the process of solving the problems, it can help Kelly to rebuild up her own self .

Reference
Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.
Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society. New York, NY: Norton.
Goleman, D. (1997). Affective and nourishing emotions: Impacts on health. In D. Goleman (Ed.), Healing emotions (pp. 33-46). Boston, MA: Shambhala.
Hanna, S. L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2007). Person to person: Positive relationships don’t just happen (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
Harra. C(2013, July 30). 6 Steps to Controlling Your Emotions. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/controlling-your emotions_b_3654326.html
Harris, T. (1969). I’m ok, you’re ok. NY: Harper & Row.
Rosenberg, M. (1979). Conceiving the self. NY: Beaufort.

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