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Joy of Life

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Submitted By agrampus
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A Journey into My Life

My personal enlightenment came about when I was married. When we first met everything was good. The feeling was like nothing I had ever felt for any woman and I wanted it to last forever. It was like how Alexander O’Neal said, “She touched me with a smile that glows; I can’t go a day without my sunshine.” She was just that. We eventually moved in together and were a normal, happy couple. We had our ups and downs like any couple does. We were having our first child and were very happy. So, I guess the darkness came when finances were getting kind of rough and we had to move from where we were living. It happened a lot and I couldn’t understand why when she was the one that was handling the bills. She was spending the money elsewhere, and not on our bills. We went to go live with her mother. While we lived there she used to get calls from other guys and letters from a guy she met while she was in jail and I was running around trying to get the money together to get her out, and here she wanted to be with someone else. Her brother always checked the mailbox. He and I would sit and read all the letters she got from her friend in jail. They were planning to be together and if I got in the way he was going to bring harm to me. So months passed by and she ended that with him before somebody was seriously hurt. We found a new place, but she started talking to other different guys and hanging out with cousins and “friends” from work. We had a discussion about it and decided I would go to truck driving school and get a career driving a truck. It was a good career move. Money was coming in, and bills were being paid, but as Keith Sweat said in his song, “Something just ain’t right” or like the old saying goes, “When the cats away, the mouse will play.” She never was home when I called and when she was home she used to always start an argument and hang up the phone. I was sent to the great state of Ohio to work out there in Columbus. While I was out there I still couldn’t get in touch with her. When I finally did get in touch with her, she sounded like one of our family members had died. She told me she cheated on me and was pregnant and didn’t know if she was pregnant for me or the other guy. For about a week we were talking about it and she finally came out and told me that it wasn’t mine and she hated and didn’t want to be with me no more. Instead she wanted to be with the child’s father. It was very painful and I didn’t want to be here on earth anymore. I wondered how someone who you love more than anything in this world can do such a thing. It felt like I couldn’t function anymore. She was everything to me and I didn’t have her anymore. I prayed on it for a while and just out of the blue I heard to songs that really lifted me up, “We fall down” by Donnie McClurkin and “I will survive” by Chante Savage. My painful light was knowing the fact it was over between us and I had to get over it. I wanted to treat every woman I met the same way she treated me but my mother told me “Not every woman is the same. You can’t treat them like that because you had one bad apple.” I adapted to the situation better than I thought I would. Even though I was not living there anymore I got to still see my kids and we talked a lot. The feeling that was inside wanted me to hate this woman with everything I had, but I forgave her and moved on. For every broken heart there is a healing, and the Lord healed me. It has been almost four years now and it is now a memory in my past. You live and you learn and my marriage was one of life’s many lessons. Whenever I hear somebody say that they want to get married, I always tell them to make sure this is the right one, and to do your homework. Don’t rush into anything; take time to know this person first. They can be loving and honest in the beginning, but after a while everything changes. People tend to change when you live together and that’s when you see their true colors. Some tell me that just because yours didn’t work don’t mean mine won’t. They’re right, but I pray for them, and hope they don’t end up like me. But as for me, I don’t see myself ever getting married again.

Work Cited

“Sunshine” (1985), O’Neal, Alexander
“Something just ain’t right” (1987), Sweat, Keith
“We Fall Down” (2000), McClurkin, Donnie
“I Will Survive” (1996), Savage, Chante
Quoted My Mother, (2010), Scott, Margaret

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