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Linguistic Ettiquete

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This study mainly talks about politeness of greetings in general and the sociolinguistic politeness in particular in the Jordanian society. It sheds light on the way Jordanian people greet each other in their daily life. Due to the fact that all human beings want to have a peaceful life, their way of communicating with each other has to be a polite one and therefore they adhere to a group of well-established conventions. By doing this, they make their life easier and show more respect, consideration and sentiment for those surrounding them. This study focuses on two important issues; the various patterns of Arabic greetings and the sociolinguistic factors that play an important role in the formation of these patterns. Greeting conventions used by Jordanian people are mainly taken from the Islamic teachings as well as the Arabic traditions. As previously mentioned, people adhere to these conventions in order to keep open and peaceful channels of communication with each other. This study also discusses the factors that play role in forming greetings by Jordanian people including gender, age, context of situation, and time. The sociolinguistic factors that play a role in forming greetings involve two rules; the socio-cultural and the socio-religious rules. Introduction This study aims to shed lights on the various patterns of greetings used by Jordanian people in their daily life. It is important to notice that people differ from each other in terms of age, gender, and status, and therefore; the greetings pattern they choose may also differ. In order to master a language, it is important to be fully aware of its semantic, syntactic, morphological, lexical, and phonological rules. However, this might be not enough, it is also important for any speaker to understand the basic discourse rules including greetings, compliments, invitations, etc. Jordanian consider greeting as a mean to have peaceful social relations with other members in the society. Greetings are supposed to be found in any context or situation; any person in the community is expected to greet other members whether h/she knows them well or not. As previously mentioned, most of Arabic greetings are taken from Islamic teachings. According to these teachings, one is expected to cast greetings to everyone h/she meets in the street whether he knows or not. However; due to the current progress and change in modern times especially in big cities, people's manners have also changed and they only greet those who are close to them. This might be attributed to their interest in western culture. This study focuses on the way Jordanian people greet each other from the social and linguistic perspectives. Greetings are essential for starting and ending a conversation. There are some socio-cultural and socio-religious rules of initiating greetings in general. One of the most socio-religious greeting terms is "السلام عليكم" (Peace be upon you). Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) ordered Muslims to spread this greeting among themselves. “السلام عليكم” is also the greeting of Adam and of his offspring. On the other hand, “مرحبا” (Hello) is the most common socio-cultural term used by Jordanian. “مرحبا” is considered to be less polite than "السلام عليكم". Both of these greetings are neutral and not time-specific; they can be used at any time or on any social occasion. “مرحبا” and “السلام عليكم” are different in terms of formality and solidarity. “مرحبا” is less formal and signals more intimacy and solidarity. There are other patterns of greetings that have to do with time. Time greetings are based on the two expressions “صباح الخير” (Good morning) and “مساء الخير” (Good evening). One would greet another person whether he knows him/her or not with these expressions. There are also some context or situation-specific terms such as "قو الغانمين" (May Allah strengthen the noble), and "يعطيك العافية" (May Allah grant you health/ Strength). "قو الغانمين" is a term that is used when there is a big gathering and there is no need to shake everyone's hand while "يعطيك العافية" is normally used to greet or thank someone who performs a physical job. The greeted person should reply with a more courteous greeting or at least of equal courtesy. Jordanians often reply with "هلا، أهلا وسهلا" (Welcome! welcome) to any greeting in order to show respect and warmth of welcome. However, some people, especially females, sometimes violate the rules of etiquette and reply with a less courteous greeting as "أهلين هلا" (Welcome) to "السلام عليكم" (Peace be upon you). Speakers usually follow the greetings by raising questions about the health such as "كيف حالك" (How are you?) and "اشلونك" (Literally translated as How is your color? i.e. (How are you?). The difference between these two expressions is that “كيف حالك” is more formal and more courteous than “اشلونك” which is used between friends and in informal relations. Both expressions might be used together beginning with the former and then with the latter. This study concentrates largely on the linguistic etiquette that is used for greeting and leave-taking. The great focus is on the patterns of greetings on arrival as well as departures.

Review of Related Literature When talking about Etiquette, the first thing that pops into one’s mind is a group of rules and regulations that determines the good manners in the social, public, or official behavior. In 1815, Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield wrote his book “Lord Chesterfield's Advice to His Son” in which he talks about the rules of etiquette. Ptaḥ-ḥetep (1912) also wrote “The Instructions of Ptah Hotep” which is considered to be the first ancient Egyptian book on etiquette. It talks about a father who gives advices to his son about the good behaviors. In the 19th century, adhering to the etiquette rules was important for the upper class to keep themselves away from the intervention of the lowest class including the impertinent, the improper, and the vulgar. People from the upper class adhered to a group of strict rules that governed the relationships between ladies and gentlemen in public. These rules were applied on visits, ceremonious calls, and greetings. By applying etiquette rules, the spontaneous and the impertinent way of exchanging greetings was not valid any more. In the previous era, etiquette rules only involved good manners that should be followed by people on certain social occasions. Clifford Geertz (1960) is considered to be the first one to write about etiquette linguistically. His study focuses mainly on etiquette in Java (an island of Indonesia). According to Geertz, linguistic etiquette is like a wall that is built around one's self in order to protect his inner feeling. In java, it is almost impossible for people to start a conversation without having in mind the social relation between the speakers in terms of status and formality. In their language, one word has a denotative and a connotative meaning which is added to the meaning of the word in order to enrich the level of the speech or to show the speakers’ status and formality. Shahir El-Hassan (1991) is one of the earliest Arabic writers who talked about etiquette. In his study “Linguistic Etiquette at Jordanian Shops”, he focuses on the patterns of linguistic etiquette that are used at Jordanian shops. El-Hassan finds that there are specific socio-cultural norms of linguistic etiquette followed by those who are in the Jordanian shops field in order to show politeness and courtesy to each other. Chen Song-Cen (1991) pointed out that gireeting expressions is considered to be an essential constituent of the polite language. He stated that through exchanging greetings, the speakers show their attitudes toward each other. Greeting can be also considered as one way of staring a conversation with someone.

There are a great number of studies that talk about the importance of greetings’ role in the different cultures. Charles Ferguson (1967) reviews greeting expressions as an example of "a politeness formula". People use these expressions in the various contexts. He also stated that the meaning of greetings is not as much important as their absence or presence in specific situations or contexts. According to Erving Goffman (1971: 79) describes greetings exchanges as greeting exchanges “access rituals”. He stated that there are two types of greeting exchanges; passing greetings and engaging greetings. These two types can be described as the switch that opens and closes the relations. Goffman says that greeting exchanges serves as a way to build social relations, to acknowledge the status of people, and to create a safe passage between strangers. Firth (1973) suggested that greeting may come in two forms; the verbal and the nonverbal. Verbal forms consist of three types: question (How do you do?), interjection (Hello) or affirmation (Good morning). Laver (1981) describes greeting as a life routine followed by all people to show respect. There are three components of greeting exchanges; the formulaic phrases, address forms, and phatic communion (Laver 1981). The “minor sentences” is a term that is used to indicate the different utterances of salutations, felicitations and invocations (Ibrahim 1983). According to Ibrahim (1983), people adhere to the rules of greetings to show politeness and respect so that they can have a peaceful level of social discourse. In Greetings in Jordanian Arabic (1994), Halim talks about greetings in Jordanian Arabic. He collected the data from many public places such as hospitals and universities. The study shows that each greeting has many forms and that some greetings are used more than others. Halim states that choosing the appropriate pattern of greeting depends on the relationship between the interlocutors. Greetings on Arrival As aforementioned, this study talks about the linguistic behavior of Jordanian people when greeting each other in different situations. The best thing to start with here is to define greeting from the sociolinguistic perspective. According to Schottman, greetings can be defined as "the essential `oil' of encounters of all types and a reassuring confirmation of human sociability and social order" (1995, 489). Holmes (1992:308) states "Greeting formulas universally serve an affective function of establishing non-threatening contact and rapport but their precise content is clearly culture specific"; as a result, people from the different areas around the world may be unable to use specific greetings terms in a proper way. The term “قو الغانمين” for example is an Arabic expression and only Arabs know when to use it. They know that they can use it when there is no need to shake hands with all people who are in a great gathering. They also know that this expression is inappropriate to be used when handshaking with other people is a must. So this becomes a cultural issue in that foreigners do not understand when to use “قو الغانمين” and when not. From a semantic perspective, one can say that greeting terms are cultural-specific ones. Their meanings are mainly taken from the culture they belong to. Some languages around the world, the African language for example, might be evaluated from the greetings pattern they have. Schegloff states that "In parts of Africa whole languages may be evaluated in terms of the greeting patterns" (1972:211). This study also focuses on the aspects of the direct interaction (face-to-face) between Jordanian people by showing the series of expressions used by Jordanians to greet each other. Both the non-verbal channel and the verbal behavior are essential in showing the rules of etiquette employed by people of Jordan. For example, a greeting expression like "مرحبا" (hello) without a little smile or an appropriate mode may show hostility or lack of intimacy between the speakers. One can say that if there is a conflict between the verbal greeting and the non verbal greeting, the semantic relationship might be affected. Therefore, the non-verbal mode conveys certain pragmatic and socio-cultural aspects of meaning. As previously mentioned, most of the greeting patterns followed by Jordanian people are derived from religious rules. Some of these rules include 1) the younger should greet the older; 2) the smaller group should greet the larger one; 3) the walking person should greet the sitting person; and 4) the horseman should greet those on foot. The most common and popular greeting upon passing by someone is "السلام عليكم" (Peace be upon you). This greeting is not specific for time or context; it can be used at any time and in any situation. The prophetic traditions explained that “السلام عليكم” is the greeting of Adam and his progeny and that what gives this greeting its socio-religious significance. The Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) asked all Muslims to cast greeting among each other and even to greet those whom they do not know. The Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) also asked his wife Aisha to respond to the angels when they greeted her. The greeting “السلام عليكم” is considered to be the most polite and the most used expression that can be said at any time and in any occasion. The greeted person has to respond with “السلام” greeting also. The longer the greeting is, the more politeness it conveys. Usually, the greeted person replies with a greeting that is longer than the one offered to him. By doing this, the greeted person conform to the Quranic injunction contained in verse 86 in Surat Al Nisaa “وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُمْ بِتَحِيَّةٍ فَحَيُّوا بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَا أَوْ رُدُّوهَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ حَسِيبًا" (When a courteous greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or at least of equal courtesy). When talking about “السلام عليكم” greeting, it is important to talk about the way males and females respond to this greeting. It is obvious that the term “السلام عليكم” is used by males more than females. Furthermore, females may violate the socio-religious rule by responding in an appropriate way. Females usually respond to “السلام عليكم” with the term “أهلين وسهلين”or “أهلين يا هلا”. From a syntactic perspective, one can say that males use the term “السلام عليكم” for greeting whether they greet individuals, groups, males or females. Arab culture is different from western cultures in that males tend to use the polite and courteous patterns of greeting more than females. Another common greeting term is “مرحبا” (hello/ welcome). Similar to “السلام عليكم” term, it is not specific for time or context; i.e. it can be used at any time and in any occasion. One of the main differences between “السلام عليكم” and “مرحبا” is that the first one is more formal while the latter one is less formal and more intimate. When talking about the term “مرحبا”, it is important to notice that this term had two meanings in the past. It was used either to mean “مرحباً، للترحيب” (welcome) or to mean “ مرحبا” (hello) to initiate greeting. This can be seen in one of the prophetic traditions when prophet Mohammad welcomed one of the delegation coming to them saying “فَقَالَ " مَرْحَبًا بِالْقَوْمِ ـ أَوْ بِالْوَفْدِ ـ غَيْرَ خَزَايَا وَلاَ نَدَامَى” (Welcome to the delegation who have come!). This prophetic tradition shows how the term “مرحبا” was used as both welcoming and initiating greeting. However, it is only used now to mean “مرحبا” (hello) i.e. to initiate greeting. The appropriate response for the term “ مرحبا” is “ أهلا وسهلا” which is taken from “لقيتَ أهلاً كأهلك، وأتيتَ موضعاً سهلاً” (Literally translated as you have come to people who are like your folk and to a place that is smooth). Moreover, the greeted person may respond to the term “مرحبا” in many terms extending from more courteous to less courteous. The following are examples for these terms:
Example 1: a- أهلا وسهلا (Welcome! 'standard') b- أهلا وسهلا (Welcome! ' colloquial') c- مرحبتين (Lit. Two hellos i.e. welcome) d- مية مرحبا (Lit. A hundred hellos) e- هلا (Welcome) f- يا هلا (vocative + Welcome) Example (1a) is the common and standard response, whereas (1b) is less standard with no case endings (-n). Examples (1c) and (1d) are more intimate and less formal than the others. (1e) and (1f) are the shortest and may be more sincere than the remaining ones, especially if accompanied by a big smile. The forms at 1a, 1b, 1e, and 1f are usually repeated by hosts when they are greeted by a welcomed visitor two or three times, e.g. "يا هلا، يا هلا، يا هلا" (welcome, welcome, welcome) to show the warmth of the reception.
Time-specific greetings
There are some greetings that are used in specific times. These terms include “صباح الخير” (Good morning) and “مساء الخير” (Good afternoon/ evening). These terms are less used than the other greetings (السلام عليكم، مرحبا). Time-specific terms are used by females more than males. Old females usually tend to use the more polite forms of these terms. The following are examples of time-specific greetings.

Example 2: a- صباح الخير (Good morning) b- الله يصبحك بالخير (May Allah make your morning good? / May you have a good morning?). c- الله يمسيك بالخير (May you have a good afternoon/evening'?) Example (2b) is longer and more courteous than (2a) because it begins with the term "الله" (God). It is obvious that the elderly people prefer to use greetings that begin with “الله” more than others, and females use them more than males. Therefore, we can say that time-specific greetings like "صباح الخير" (good morning) might be considered as age and sex markers, whereas greetings like "السلام عليكم" (Peace be upon you) might be considered as Islamic greetings that express loyalty to the Islamic faith. The normal responses for (مساء الخير، صباح الخير) to the above mentioned greetings are "صباح النور" (Literally translated as morning of light i.e. good morning) and "مساء الخير" (Good afternoon/evening) respectively. However, some other terms are used in accordance to the social relationships between the speakers. Consider the following examples:
Example 3: a- صباح النور (Good morning) b- صباح الورد (Lit. Morning of roses, i.e. good morning) c- صباح الفل/الياسمين (Lit. Morning of jasmine, i.e. good morning) Except for the first example, the second two examples are considered to be markers for sex and intimacy between the speakers. The first example is used by both males and females while the last two examples are mainly used by males and females when responding to both males and females. If both sexes are present in the context, the last two examples are proper to be used only when there is a close and intimate relationship between the speakers. As aforementioned, greeting terms such as “قو الغانمين” or “قوك” are used when there is no need to shake hands with all people in a large gathering since it might be embarrassing to make everyone stand to shake hands or when the person to be greeted is busy with something else. Consider the following examples:
Example 4 a- الله يقوي الغانمين (May Allah strengthen the noble) b- قوهم ('May Allah' strengthen them c- قوك (' May Allah' strengthen you)
Example 5: a- يصح بدنهم ('May Allah' strengthen their body/ May their body be firm) b- الله يعطيكو العافية (May Allah' give you health) The previous greetings usually come after an opening greeting like “السلام عليكم”. Example 4a and 4b are usually used when there is a big gathering while 4c is less used since it is used for singular only. Another thing to be noticed here is that example 4 (a-c) and example 5 (a-b) are usually used by adult males more than females. It is also important to notice here that greetings that begin with the word “Allah” like 4a seem to be more courteous than 4b and 4c. The more intimate and close the relation, the shorter term of greeting (e.g. قوك). Greetings like “الله يعطيك العافية، يصح بدنهم” are usually used to thank the person for physical efforts h/she makes. According to El-Hassan (1991), such terms are also used to boost the relationship between the speakers.
Greetings Accompanied by Terms of Address Greetings sometimes include some different patterns of address connected with them. Titles like (أستاذ) (teacher/ Professor) are usually used after greetings to show more respect and politeness. These titles are also used when the relationship between the speakers is not a close one. Other titles such as "حج" (pilgrim) and "عمو" (paternal uncle) are used when the person to be greeted is older than the greeter. These titles are sometimes used when the relationship between the speakers is a close one. When the greeter adopts such titles when dealing with strangers, elderly or those who are superior to him/her, this shows that h/she is aware of the linguistic etiquette of interaction and thus h/she is seen as educated and civilized person. One can say that greetings that are connected with the appropriate patterns of address are considered to be more polite and courteous than those greetings without. The title “أستاذ” is usually used with people who are equal and not close to the greeter. This pattern of address usually reflects respect and formality between the speakers. According to Parkinson (1985), the title “أستاذ” is usually used to entitle everyone, however; it does not give the respect and politeness required for any formal relationship. In other words, by addressing everyone with the term “أستاذ”, high addressees would not be respected deferentially. The same case is applied to the title “حج” (pilgrim) which was usually used to address those who have just come from Makkah after performing pilgrimage. Nowadays, the term “حج” is used to address elderly people who wear traditional costumes. Parkinson states "when used to real pilgrims the term (hajj) does not mark social class, whereas when used as a mark of respect to an older person in general it is associated only with lower class addresses" (1985 : 156). Some other greetings that are connected either with the first name of the addressee or with words such as “بنت” (girl), “ولد” (boy), “ختيارة” (old woman), and “ختيار” (old man) are considered to be impolite. According to Post (1992), it might be impertinent to address the elderly people with their first names without being asked to do so. Terms like “بنت” or “ولد” are usually used by elderly people to address those who are younger than them. Elderly may also use the first names to address relatives or acquaintances. Consider these examples:
Example 6: a. مرحبا علي (Hello, Ali) a- صباح الخير يا جدة (Good morning grandmother / grandson) b- مرحبا يا بنت (Hello, girl) c- مرحبا يا ختيارة (Hello, old woman) The first example (6a) the greeter uses the addressee’s first name when the greeter is superior to the addressee or when the addressee is equal to the greeter. The example in (6b) is used inversely by both the grandmother and the grandchild to greet each other. In (6c) an old man greets a 30-year-old female, whose name he may not know, using the discourteous term of address "بنت" (girl). Even if the old man knew the female's name, he would not mention it because mentioning a girl's name in front of foreign or marriageable people is taboo. Due to the lack in the appropriate terms, it might seem difficult for the greeter to address adult female who is unfamiliar to him/her. In such case, the greeter may use words such as “بنت” (girl) and “مرة” (woman). The first one is considered to be discourteous one while the latter term is only used by some uncivilized husbands to call their wives for the sake of tampering or humbling. This issue can be also seen in the western community. Trudgill (1983) states that "A number of speakers have begun to avoid using the word girl to refer to adult women ... it is not clear what they should use instead " (78). Nowadays, terms of greetings become more polite. People begin to stop using the words “بنت” and “مرة”. They replace these terms with “سيدة” (lady) instead of “مرة” (woman), “ست” (miss) instead of “بنت” (girl), and “مدام” (Madam) instead of “مرة” (woman) also. In (6d) the greeter uses “ختيارة” (old woman) which signals intimacy between the speakers. This term might be used even if the addressee is not an old woman. However, it might be seem discourteous if it is used with an unacquainted female.
Age and Sex Markers Age plays an important role in making linguistic variations in the social interaction between people. If one considers the greeting terms used by old people, h/she will directly notice the various variations they make on the phonological, syntactical, and semantic levels and which seem to be extremely different from those used by young people. For example, old males often use "قو الغانمين" ('May Allah' strengthen the noble?) and "يصح بدنهم" ('May Allah' strengthen their body?) more than others, and they tend to use a high-pitched tone when they greet each other. Furthermore, when they greet younger people, they tend to use 'a low-pitched voice'. It is important to notice here that the use of these terms is mainly based on the social competence the speaker has and not the linguistic competence as it is supposed to be. Although young people and adolescents might have acquired some terms in an early age, they still do not know when, how, why and with whom they have to use them. The age of the speaker and his/her knowledge about the cultural and social greetings can be reveled by the paralinguistic and extralinguistic components. For example, when young females and males greet each other, they only use one hand and one greeting while speaking in ‘a low pitched tone’. On the other hand, old males hold both of each other's hand and prolong their greetings when they greet equals or superiors while speaking in ‘a high tone of voice’. From a semantic perspective, there might be some variations between the greetings used by old people and youths. Due to the limited nature of the young’s social competence, they tend to use short and simple expressions of greeting. Semantic variation can be seen when the young males and females over generalize some terms of greeting, for example; they use the term “قو الغانمين” -which is used when there is no need to shake hands- while shaking hands with all people in a gathering. Moreover, they also use the term “دايمة” (`May it be' everlasting) –which is only used when someone is offered a cup of Turkish coffee on normal or happy social occasions- on sad occasions in which they should use "شكراً" (thanks) or "الله يعوض عليكم" (May Allah compensate you) instead. However, many young people use "دايمة" ('May it be' everlasting) on good or bad occasions, so they are usually criticized by adults for committing a social mistake. The age of the addressee usually affects the verbal behavior of the speaker. Jordanian people for example tend to use less polite terms of greeting when they greet or talk with those who are younger than them. Consider the following examples:
Example 7 a- وين أبوك عمو (Where is your father, nephew?) b- مرحبا، وين أبو علي (Hello; where is Abu Ali?) If one compares between the previous two examples, he can see that in the first example the speaker does not use any greeting term at all. This is mainly because the addressee is younger than him. While in the second example, the speaker uses both a term of greeting and a term of address since he is asking a woman about her husband. Similar to the age marker, gender might be also considered as a marker of greeting variation. According to Holmes (1992), although there might be no differences in the use of greeting forms between males and females, the frequency of these forms might be different. The greetings terms such as “السلام”, “قو الغانمين”, and “يصح بدنهم” are considered to be male-specific terms; i.e. they are used by males more than females. On the other hand, middle-aged women tend to use greeting terms that are associated with kinship forms such as “مرحبا يا خالة” (Hello, nephew/ niece) in order to increase intimacy. Educated and cultured females nowadays use foreign words for greetings such as "هاي" (hi), "بونجور" (benjour), "سلام" (greeting / peace). Furthermore, women tend to use more prestigious and courteous forms of greetings especially when they are married to men from a higher social class or who occupy a high position. They do so in order to show off and to reveal their fake inclusion to higher classes. On the other hand, the social dialect of men is not usually affected by their wives' social status.

Conclusion The study finds that the process of choosing the proper term of greetings is mainly based on 4 factors including the social statue, age, gender, and the level of closeness between the speakers. The greeter should adopt a greeting term which goes with the social context and shows the social relationship between the speakers. In the Jordanian society- which is considered to be male dominant society-males tend to use less polite and courteous terms of greeting when greeting females while they use more polite terms to greet males. In addition, the greeter’s choice of greeting terms is mainly affected by the social status of the addressee. Old people may not use any greeting term when dealing with young people. Moreover, inferiors may be offered a less courteous greeting than that offered to superiors. The study also shows how Jordanian people prefer to use some socio-religious greeting terms more than any other greetings. Muslims urge and encourage their children to adopt the socio-religious greeting "السلام عليكم" (Peace be upon you) from an early age. Cultural greetings such as "قو الغانمين" (May Allah strengthen the noble) are acquired in a later stage of life. Moreover, children are urged to develop and acquire greeting terms that are suitable to be used in all social contexts rather than time-specific greetings or context-dependent greetings. When comparing between males and females, the study shows that males tend to use more polite and courteous terms of greetings than females who tend to use less formal and less polite terms of greetings. Women tend to use terms of address while speaking in a low pitched tone. This might seem opposite to Layoff's (1975) claim that females are more polite and more indirect than males. When talking about old and young people, the study shows that old people, males or females, tend to use more courteous, polite, and longer terms of greeting than young people do. This might be attributed to the fact that old people have more experience and broader communicative and social competence than young people. The study also shows that time specific greetings such as “صباح الخير” are sex-marked greetings; i.e. they are used mostly by females. Cultural greetings such as “يصح بدنهم” on the other hand are considered to be sex and age-marked greetings at the same time i.e. they are used mostly by old males. Greetings may include some proper terms of address. Greetings that are associated with the appropriate term of address are considered to be more polite and courteous than those without. Jordanians usually generalize the usage of terms of address, whether absolute or relational. They do so in order to reveal more respect and deference, or to show intimacy and solidarity. For example, for the purposes of showing respect and politeness, one may call a young man "مرحبا أستاذ" (hello professor/ teacher). H/she may also greet any male as "مرحبا عمو" (hello uncle/nephew) to show solidarity and increase intimacy with him.

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