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Living with Strangers by Siri Hustvedt

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Michelle Gjørup Engelsk Essay 17. maj 2015

Living with strangers By Siri Hustvedt Living in big cities like New York City is a relatively modern phenomena, and why wouldn't it be when the big city, unlike the countryside has so much more to offer? Hundreds and thousands of possibilities can be found and realized in the big cities, its been this way from the time after the industrialization in the 1800’s with the increase of urbanization where a lot of people moved to the big cities to get a job. But with so many people in one place comes several dilemmas, like what do you do in certain situations when people around you seem not to care as much? The lack of social interaction has a huge effect on some people, one of them being Siri Hustvedt. In her essay “Living with strangers” from 2002, Siri Hustvedt discusses how she sees “the big city” and its lack of social interaction, and what affects it has on her as a former Minnesotan. In the countryside everyone knows everybody and people greet each other like its second nature. But as Siri so quotes in her essay people in New York has an unwritten rule to “pretend it isn't happening”. She further states that even though there are so many people that you on a daily basis get up close and personal with ”... I found myself in intimate contact with people I didn’t know, my body pressed so tightly against them, I could smell their hair oils, perfumes, and sweat.” It doesn't really get more personal than that, but even then people seem to know how to avoid any given situation. The only thing these people have in common is that they live in the same place, but they are in fact, strangers. But even then for Siri it makes sense to break this unwritten rule of pretending not to notice, and instead acknowledge other people. In acknowledging other people you automatically show respect and kindness, and this in return can lift ones spirit and maybe even some of the loneliness that comes with living in a big city. The essay is built up in three sections. In the first part Hustvedt tells her personal story about how she moved from the country side where everybody greets each other to the big city of New York, where hundreds of people live side by side and have physical contact everyday, but that only makes the lack of “human” contact even more visible. She then learns the so-called unwritten rule of the big city, to not care; ”... I found myself in intimate contact with people I didn’t know, my body pressed so tightly against them, I could smell their hair oils, perfumes, and sweat. In my former life, such closeness belonged exclusively to boyfriends and family. It didn’t take long for me to absorb the unwritten code of survival in this town *...+: PRETEND IT ISN’T HAPPENING.” (ll. 15-20) as a reader one can defiantly relate to such an situation and identify with it, this defiantly helps to make the situation seem more “real”. Siri has now caught the reader’s attention in a very effective manner. In the second part of the story Siri comes with a very serious and over the top example to build her argument up: ”Last October, I was on the F Train when I noticed a wild-eyed man entering the car. He boomed out a few verses from Revelation and then, in an equally loud voice, began his sermon, informing us that September 11 had been God’s just punishment for our sins. I could feel the cold, stiff resistance to his words among the passengers, but not a single one of us turned up to look at him.” (ll. 31-35) with such an extreme situation Siri comes with an very good argument of how strange people are to just ignore such situations without doing anything. This leads up to further discussion in the third part. In this part Siri reflects on how exactly one could differ from the pretend “it isn't happening rule” without causing to much trouble. One alternative is to only break in when something wrong is happening in front of you, but that’s dangerous and could get you hurt, ”Taking action may be viewed as courageous or merely stupid, depending on the circumstances and your point of view.” (ll. 53- 54). In another situation Siri describes an incident where her daughter Sofie was intensely looked at in the train, and how Sofie desperately tried to escape in her music, when the man then walked out of the train and started pounding loudly on the door yelling “I love you!(ll. 86). Of course the other passengers remained impassive to the yelling; he could have been mute for that matter. But the passenger next to Sofie acknowledged her; “it looks like you have an admirer”(ll.90). To this situation Siri comes with her own personal opinion on the discussion; “By breaking the code, the man acknowledged himself as a witness to what, despite the pretense, had been a very public outburst. His understatement not only defined the comedy inherent in the scene; it lifted my daughter out of the solitary misery that comes from being the object of unwanted attention *...+ With those few words, and at no cost to himself, he gave her what she needed – a feeling of ordinary human solidarity.” (ll. 91- 96) This is the discussion the other two parts were building up to. Here Siri arguments with her personal opinion and leaves the reader to further reflects on the matter themselves. The text genre is an “essay” which can be seen from different factors such as the very open and reflecting way the story is told. She doesn't try to convince the reader of something but instead shares her stories and thoughts on the matter. This gives the essay an very open form where there are no conclusions and points up front but instead are build underway in the story. Another “essay” feature is the subjective writing style that still allows her to maintain a level of seriousness. The genres purpose is to speak ones mind, more than inform others. This, as stated before, gives the reader a change to discuss freely a certain matter without any form of “real” foundation to support her arguments. Rhetorical devices such as Pathos is used a lot, the way she generalizes and her attitude are all there to convince the reader that the message is to be taken seriously. For example we have the example with Sofie. Siri manages to make the whole situation sound very traumatizing, and this creates sympathy from the reader. Another essay feature is the open discussion Siri displays of the issue. How can you relate to other people in the big city is an very difficult question indeed, and there really isn't only one answer, that is why it’s necessary for Siri to argument and discuss via her examples where she lays out her point of view in the matter. Even though Siri doesn't come up with an exclusive conclusion she does come up with a lot of different views on the essay that she arguments on in different ways. One of them is the use of Ethos. By coming with examples from her own life and family she shows that the big city life is not only a problem for her but many others as well. This is a way to build credibility as a writer. Siri concludes her essay with the use of pathos, where she uses humor to show the positivity that comes with communication with each other, this creates positive feelings in the reader and makes one more inclined to agree with her point of view. “As I walked past him, he suddenly propped himself up on his elbow and called out to me, “Hey, beautiful! Want to have dinner with me?” His question was so loud, so direct, I stopped. Looking down at the man at my feet, I said, “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I’m busy tonight.’ Without a moment’s hesitation, he grinned up at me, lifted the bottle in a mock toast, and said, “Lunch?” (ll. 116-121) The essay in whole discusses the cultural difference between living in the big city versus the countryside. But what’s best? That’s a difficult question. On one hand you get better relationships with people on the countryside, this makes one grow as an person, on the other there are much more activities and experiences to explore in the big city, and this makes one more experienced in various occasions.
Finally I think Siri has come to the conclusion that there is no way to reach the costumes of “the country side” in a big city like New York but instead she seeks a way to encourage others to appear more obliging, and friendly to someone who approaches you. In all just to be more socially aware, that includes having mutual respect and tolerance towards one another.

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