...Running head: CRITIQUE OF THEORY A Theory Critique: Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Linda Mario Liberty University Summary: Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend The determinants of marital heartache are diverse. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend address boundaries that have sustained multiple marriages and have advocated for the happiness between married couples. When one reads the title, he or she might think the boundaries the authors are trying to set in marriages are on their spouse but “Boundaries are not something you “set on” another person. Boundaries are about yourself” (Cloud & Townsend, 1999, p. 28). The focal points of this book include theories about boundaries, values, resolving conflict, and keeping God in a marriage. Cloud and Townsend (1999) explain that boundaries in marriage is fundamentally about love; prompting, growing, developing, and repairing the love (p.9). John 4:16 states “love is at the heart of marriage, as it is at the heart of God himself” (p.9). Cloud & Townsend (1999) present boundaries in different ways through words, truth, consequences, emotional distance, physical distance, other people and time. The descriptions of these points are crucial pieces in Cloud and Townsend’s theory. An individual’s language and words assist in defining who he or she is as a person and “what you believe, what you want, and what you don’t” (Cloud & Townsend...
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...African American elementary school teacher who has been married four times. She was first married to her high school sweetheart at the age of 18. He died three years later in the Vietnam War. She married her second husband seven years after that, but the marriage ended in divorce, when it was discovered that her husband was gay. Her third marriage was to a man who was 10 years her junior and that marriage ended after 3 years when she found out that her husband was having an affair with a younger woman. Now this current marriage is ending because of a lack of passion and companionship, and an apparent general disinterest. Samantha dreads the aftermath of this divorce. She has begun to isolate herself from friends and spend long periods moping and thinking about how gloomy her future will be because she has decided never to marry or date again. Samantha’s parents were happily married for 50 years. They are both recently deceased and she continues to miss their support, affection, and guidance. Samantha has an older brother, whom she greatly admires and loves. He has been married for 20 years and has two daughters with whom Samantha has a close relationship. She views both her parents’ and brother’s marriages as perfect. Presenting Problem: Samantha is experiencing depression because her fourth marriage is in dissolution and she feels flawed and like a failure, and doomed to lead a life of loneliness. A life-long marriage has always been a profound desire for Samantha...
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...Seneca Gatlin PHI-105 4/27/2014 Instructor DiCarlo Same-Sex Marriage Is it wrong to deny someone the right to marriage because of their sex? Marriage has become the voice of true love in America, but some are not allowed to partake in because they are marrying someone of the same sex better known as same-sex marriage. Many people believe that one should be allowed to marry even if they are of the same sex because love knows no boundaries, only God can judge rightfully, and marriage is a scared vow between two individuals. Same-sex relationships are becoming a more popular trend in America now, even though there are citizens who don’t agree with it. Why do people get married? Love is! Marriage should be allowed between same sex couples because love knows no boundaries. No one in this world can help who they fall in love with, whether heterosexual or homosexual. As a teen growing up my mother has always told me “there is someone out there for everyone” and that statement is deemed to be true. Same sex couples seem to know a lot about true approval of their partner’s soul meaning they can find their soul mate. Love knows no boundaries because real love doesn’t care about race, color, or gender. (NeJaime, 2012) Who's to judge someone because of whom they love? Many preachers are opposed to same-sex marriages and they will not commence the marriage, because they feel as if God made man and woman to be married. Only God can rightfully judge someone and say that same sex...
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...related to earthquake activity. There are four different types of plate boundaries. First we have Divergent boundaries, where new crust is generated as the plates pull away from each other. Second we have Convergent boundaries and this is where the crust is destroyed as one plate is forced under another. Third we have the transform boundaries and this is where the crust is not created or destroyed as the plates slide horizontally past the other. Last we have Plate boundary zones where broad belts in which boundaries are not well defined and plate interactions are not clearly understood. The best known divergent boundaries is the mid-Atlantic Ridge, it is a submerged mountain range, which extends from the Arctic Ocean down South of Africa. This mountain range has been spreading apart for millions of years, which allows new magma to surface thus increasing the size of the mountains 2.5 centimeters each year. The two plates involved here are the American and the Eurasian plates and they are separating Iceland. The convergent boundaries are where the crust is being destroyed at about the same rate as it is being replaced in other areas of the world. These boundaries are long and deep trenches in the ocean and it are created by one plate being forced under another. These areas include the ring of fire which is a geographic region that has volcanoes that are active and are subject to earth quakes. Transform boundaries is a zone between two plates that are sliding horizontally past one...
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...# Boundaries - Your First Line of Defense Do you want to say NO but you don’t feel able to, or if you do, you feel guilty. Setting personal Boundaries can help you to overcome blocks like this. ---- Imagine for a moment that you are looking through a microscope and you are seeing some tiny cells moving around in a liquid. You can distinguish one cell from another because each one has a very well defined limit: a membrane (the outer skin of the cell). > **For a cell, its membrane is its Boundary.** If the membrane of a cell is punctured, the cell is badly damage or ceases to exist. On a human level, if our Boundaries are badly damage our sense of identity, freedom, needs and wants, are badly affected too. ## Some Signs When Boundaries...
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...to see it in a more human aspect, being a person admired for its tolerance, sympathy and humanity necessarily exclude the opportunity or more likely the risk of being evil? We live in a world where everyone pursuits the perfect life with wealth and happiness while the way of getting it often requires a struggle that affects others negatively. We know that stress and anger easily can urge for even the happiest and most sympathetic man alive. But according to what we have influenced for instance from the fairy tales of our childhood or even the real classics like Shakespeare, being evil and being likeable are two separate things, which will never be anything but conflicting poles. Richard III claims that his incapability of being able to love and be someone’s lover determines his therefore villainous behaviour. Being born before term, Richard III had to live his life as a cripple and therefore an outcast. This was not a thing to easily let go in the Middle Ages as people was...
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...such as the dialogue of the characters portray a comedy. Although, the props of the film and a few scenes suggest it’s an action film, the lay out of the trailer, signify it’s a parody of an action film which is part of Steve Neale’s theory of the cycle. Robert Stam might support the idea that this film overlaps genre boundaries creating this film a hybrid genre. This could have been done to create a wider target audience but not too big as everyone would not feel engaged enough. Therefore it would get more publicity as people who enjoy action and people who enjoy comedy would go to see it. I think both of these genres have remained popular as with comedy you can use different jokes, different ways to make people laugh, ensuring people to feel like its constantly new material to keep them laughing and engaged in the comedy genre. The action genre has also stayed popular as its repetition and keeps them on edge of what stunt is going to happen next. Such as in hot fuzz, there’s a massive explosion of a house, this then could happen at the start of the film, there is always a new plot and new, more creative stunts performed but it also sticks within the genre boundaries of a classic action film, giving action film lovers exactly what they want keeping them entertained and willing to go see a new action film. Die...
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... Henry Cloud and John Townsed’s book, Boundaries in marriage (1999), builds off of other works that the authors have penned together on the topic of creating Godly boundaries in relationships. The authors premise their work on the belief that clearly delineated boundaries are essential both for the health of the individual establishing the boundaries and the health of the relationship that the boundary has been established in. Boundaries are described as a “personal property line” that “promote love by protecting individuals” (Cloud & Townsend, 1999, p.10). Some people struggle with establishing boundaries particularly people with poor developmental histories and people who have grown up in households where loose boundaries esxisted. Often times establishing boundaries is difficult for Christians who have a sense of sacrificing their own personal needs and desires for the needs and desires of others. Cloud and Townsend maintain that boundaries are Godly and that they are a critical component necessary for an indivual to establish their identity and self-worth. People with no boundaries are vulnerable to being taken advantage of and that is not God’s desire. Cloud and Townsend demonstrate that boundaries can be utilized to assist with spiritual growth, personal growth and are critical components involved in healing relationships. Boundaries can be physical boundaries, mental boundaries, emotional boundaries or spiritual boundaries and they can be set through using words...
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...parents, or I will never be like my parents. I guess there is no sketched out map to raise your child correctly, but there are key things every parent needs to remember. Being a good parent requires you to be their parent not their best friend, discipline and most importantly love and nurture. To many parents these days feel they need to be their child’s best friend, they worry too much about how their child views them. A parent should be a good role model, model the behavior they wish there kids to show. But being their best friend will only hinder your child in the long run. They need someone who will set boundaries, someone who will discipline and someone who they can turn to when they need advice. I think it is important to be involved with your child’s life, but a parent must remember their involvement needs to be limited to being a parent and not a friend. Your child should be able to turn to you when they need advice or they are in trouble, and as a parent you should always make yourself available to your child for such things. Your child can make many friends at school and other activities, but when they come home they need a parent at the end of the day. Discipline is a subject that has been for debate for many years. What is the right way to discipline your child? What discipline is barbaric and totally not needed? There is...
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...life is lost for Marisa after her realization that she was was being exploited in her relationship with the Harrows. As a girl in Mr. Harrow’s poetry class, Marisa was fueled by her passions to pursue a sexual relationship with Mr. Harrow. Having not rationalized the possibility that the relationship could be threatening, Marisa lead to her own downfall by failing to set her boundaries. Being young and innocent, it is often that women learn through experience that uncapped sexualism can have repercussions. In this way, the girls at Catamount college became victims due to their sexual vulnerabilities. The criticism “Oates Beasts” explores these sexual vulnerabilities, “...the girls never discuss or reveal the common secret that both fascinates and frightens them, lest they incur the wrath of the Harrows”(Chatterjee 226). By following their sexual passion for the Harrows’, it became a competition between the girls to obtain their love. Failing to communicate the abusive relationships, the silence created a cycle for the girls to ultimately become victimized. Chatterjee fails to mention the idea of boundaries in her interpretation of sexual vulnerability which is instead based on the idea of socially...
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...The Mortal Instruments and Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is a tale of forbidden love, disapproving families, and a coming of age, The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones series uses the base of these components from Romeo & Juliet, and creates a new way to interpret the story with added fantasy and adventure. The Mortal Instruments can be compared to Romeo & Juliet because of the similar topics, but they are very different in many ways. Two of the main characters, Clary Fray and Jace Lightwood are two characters that resemble Romeo and Juliet characteristically, but also have gone through similar struggles. Although Romeo & Juliet and Jace and Clary have a fair share of family problems, they are still very different. Romeo & Juliet had to deal with being from two...
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...The body transgresses many boundaries; no matter how hard it tries to confine itself to its perfect dimensions. Dana, the protagonist in the novel Kindred by Ocatvia Butler, travels back in time to a different era in which she must learn to adapt or suffer dire consequences. The nameless narrator in the novel Bodies Out of Bounds by Jeanette Winterson leaves her lover when she finds out the latter has cancer. As pointed in the article, “Unbearable Weight” by Susan Bordo, society has hardwired into us that there is such a thing as the perfect body. All of these characters try disparately to attain perfection in their lives. There are various boundaries being crossed in Kindred. The most obvious being the different time eras. Dana is transported to the antebellum South where she meets her ancestors. She does not want to be there. However, she knows that if she does not keep saving Rufus, her very own existence is threatened. So she will do anything, however awful, to ensure that Hagar is born. Dana hopes that Rufus will not grow up to be like his father. The question of whether Dana can save hime from his culture is always omnipresent. Although she would much rather stay and live in her comfortable home in California, she is willing to leave it behind to save Rufus. Dana does not belong in this era and yet the fate of her family and her very self depend on her. The second obvious boundary that Dana crosses is landscape and geography-wise. California still was not part...
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...In the 1880's, Mark Twain wrote,The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn set in the 1830's. This story was taking place right in the middle of the slavery time period along the Mississippi River. Jim, a character in the book, is a slave for a widow who has taken a boy named Huck under her wing and raised him after struggles he had with his family life. Jim is a confident, strong, kind person who has always been a great slave for the widow. Once Jim decides to run away and flee, him and Huck decide to runaway together and adventure across the southern slave states together. Jim changes greatly as the book progresses and as he faces new conflicts throughout the story. Jim's character is a loving man who is never afraid to take life head on and battle for what he believes is right. As the story moves along, Jim becomes more and more like a father to Huck. Jim is a major dynamic character that is full of emotions. Huck grew up in a very struggling household and never had a good father figure. Huck is trying to escape from his father and get away from him forever. When Jim and Huck choose to run...
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...Nowhere Lust, Caution directed by Ang Lee has been recognized as a sensational film with a high degree of sexuality. However, a solid plot of the film has captivated spectators who was initially allured by a rumor that the film contains numerous sexual scenes. In addition to the solidity, the movie includes an esoteric ideology and a complicated psychology of two protagonists. Therefore, appreciating the movie once may not able us to catch messages that Ang Lee conveys. After watching the film several times, concentrating on the narrative and formal elements that build themes of the film, I could finally recognize some of purposeful messages that Lee hopes us to catch. In the sequence (2:21:38~2:25:30), a scene right after Mr. Yee madly runs to his car when Wang Chia-chi tearfully murmurs to Mr. Yee to escape, a professional combination of formal elements, especially mise-en-scene and cinematography, effectively builds two themes in Lust, Caution - a destined life of one woman and her sacrifice. The sequence begins with a long shot of Wang Chia-chi exiting Chandni Chowk Jewellers by explicitly displaying her anxiousness. The camera track shots Wang Chia-chi as she cannot find an empty rickshaw. Looking around restlessly with an uneasy look, slightly withered and stumbling body, and even wandering fingertips are recorded intact. The reason of this uneasiness if because she has finally broke the frame of the play she has played in and has faced the reality. According to previous...
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...Structural Model Jennifer Tankard Liberty University Abstract Structural family therapist takes an approach to therapy that seeks to help the entire family rather than looking at the family member that has a presenting problem. Healthy families have a healthy balance within the family subset when clearly defined roles are present. Structural family therapy was developed by Salvador Minuchin and a team of researchers from New York. The techniques of the theory are centered on creating a healthy relationship among family members. Structural family therapist looks at creating a healthy partnership with each member of the family to help the family find a solution to their problem. Structural family therapy can be integrated with a biblical worldview. Counseling from a Christian perspective will help families understand God’s design for the family, and understand the role of each member as stated in scripture. Christian counselors using an integrative approach to structural therapy will be able to help families see the biblical roles that God has set for the husband/father, wife/mother and the children/siblings to develop a functional family. Keywords: Theory, intervention, psychosomatic, integration, structural therapy, dysfunction, family. Part I Introduction Everyone has a family. Each family is different in how the system functions. A family is defined in many different ways. Some consist of the traditional definition of father, mother and children. Some are lead by only...
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