I always thought I deserved better in everything. But most of the time I was not that much lucky to have anything. Although things happened like that, my heart not ready to accept that reality, so I was trying in anything which wanted to achieve, even if it’s so hard or painful. But eventually, I've been drained of the energy to hold on.

Every time I was with her, I wondered who I was to her. Sometime I thought I was just her friend. Friends, after all, would make some sort of effort to catch up with each other. But I was more likely her assistant. When she needs me for something, she wants my assistance, that’s all she wanted me. But when ever she wanted my attention, help or kindness I did it with bottom of my heart. If her were in broken heart, always I was nearby her and fixed her. I was so happy to do that. If her missed the classes, or had any difficulties about the projects, I was helping her without doing my own works. Sometime she was mumbling her, feelings and emotions via telephone. I only listened to them, I never did let her know that my feelings or emotions about anything. It’s because, I thought she may fed up with my things. So… I cried at the other end of the phone, instead. But I tried to make her up, and I was always telling, everything gonna be Ok for her. I always keep my interesting about her as a secret. I never gave any clue about I liked her very much. I never did any effort into asking her out. I wanted to flirt with her, badly but I never. I didn’t want to act as pushy boy either and wanted her to feel I’m the boy she is looking for.

When she was flirting with other boys, I cried hard in my heart and kept my patience. So finally, I thought to make a distance between us and go away from her association. But after few days again she came and asked my help and my kindness. So again I did light up my hope about her caring about me. But