TO MY FIRST LOVE

I can’t say that I loved you from the moment that we met. I can’t say that we were meant to be or that after years of separation we’ll finally break the walls that separate us and be one once more. I can’t say that in the time we’ve been apart I’ve become a better person, better for you….better for us. If I said anything along these lines it would have been a lie. There’s much I want to tell you and a lot that I know I shouldn’t. Let’s start at the beginning:

I remember when we met. You were one of the popular people. I was not. Everyday prior to our meeting I was nothing more than a background image on a less-than-boring wall. But for some reason on this day you chose to acknowledge me. On this day you chose to talk to me. I’ll probably never know why, or care why for that matter, but you did and since then my life has never been the same. As if you pulled me into light from the dark, or as though you created something out of nothing I had existence. I had meaning in my life. And that meaning was you. I would wake up every morning just to see you smile. I would miss my bus on purpose just to spend a few extra moments in your presence. I would shed the few nickels and dimes I had to give you whatever happiness money could buy. I would have given you the earth, the moon and even the sun if it so pleased you. I would have done it all.

When you’re young everyone tells you to shoot for the stars, but no one tells you how dangerous ambition can be. No one tells you the heartache you feel through selfish self-interests. No one tells you how lonely the top is or how miserable you’ll be once you get there. No one tells you how deep your knife must dig or how many backs you have to stab to get something you THINK you deserve.
Looking back now I would have taken everything back if I could. They say there is no right and wrong decision, but I am