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Managing Relationships

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Submitted By kool5665
Words 1087
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Managing Relationships
COM/200
8/11/14

Relationships are defined as a connection you establish when you communicate with another person. Every time you engage in interpersonal communication, you are in a relationship but it is only through ongoing recurring interactions that you develop interpersonal relationship. We all have had several relationships throughout our life times and unfortunately some have left but other have stayed and had a lasting impression on our lives.
Personally I have had all types of relationships throughout my life. Some have been friends and some have even been intimate. As we progress through these relationships we experience what researchers call relational development which is the movement of a relationship from one stage to another and the direction is either towards or away from intimacy. I can recall the early years that I have had with my wife to whom I have known for the later part of 15 years. First she started off as friend to whom I meet through my sister and as she came around more and more our relationship grew stronger. Proximity increases the communication opportunities between two individuals and this is the one factor that lead to our initial short term attraction because the more she came around we had a chance to talk about each other’s likes and dislikes we talked on the phone, went on dates and spent more time together despite the disapproval of friends and over time we developed a relationship that we were able to build upon for the years to come.
On the other hand the long term attraction is associated with the liking of positive feelings that makes us continue and escalate a relationship into something more. To me this is what I like to call the “I love you” part of the relationship. This is where you have determined that you want to spend more time around this person and you are always thinking about them, wondering what they are doing, and you have different feelings for them as opposed to all of your other friends. This reciprocation of liking means that we like those who like us. This point in the relationship happened for me when she told me that she was pregnant and that made me want to step up and take care of my child this news escalated our relationship faster than any other relationship that I have previously been involved in.
Studies suggest that both short-term initial attraction and long-term maintenance attraction involves assessing and acting on the potential value of a relationship. Individuals try to figure out how promising and rewarding the relationship might be and continue to make assessments throughout the course of the relationship.
As I look back on my relationship I can say that my wife and I are in the in the, or if not have passed the intensification and intimacy stage. This was developed through years of exploration if my wife and I had to learn more about each other’s personalities and respecting each other’s personal space as well. However, no one has the perfect relationship there have been times of turmoil and stagnation to the point where relational de-escalation comes into play. This is the movement that occurs when a relationship decreases in intimacy or comes to an end. Often times I have wanted to walk away from the relationship due to turmoil or boredom for that matter but as we reverted back to the intimacy stage we became The power relationship that my wife and I share would be considered as a complementary relationship. This type of relationship is defined as a relationship in which power is divided unevenly, with one partner domination and submitting to the other. This type of relationship developed over years of me giving into my wife. She makes the major decisions and if not she has a need to act out if she does not get her way. Other types of power that are displayed in relationships are symmetrical relationships which is defined as a relationship in which both partners behave toward power in the same way, either both wanting power and both avoiding it. Also, competitive symmetrical relationship us when both people vie for power and control of decision making. All relationships usually circle around the aspect of the parallel relationship whereas there is shifting of a back and forth of power between power of the individuals.
One area in my relationship that can be improved would be in the communication department. This is one area that has suffered over the years. We rarely talk on a daily basis due to the fact that our work hours overlap whereas she is sleep when I get off and I am sleep when she goes to work. Also, the communication or lack thereof suffers between us due to the fact that we spend time on the raising of our kids and not focusing on ourselves in the process.
Two of the strategies that I would use to manage the lack of communication in this relationship would be ask questions and identify and use conversation starters. I think that both of these strategies can open up the doors to communication. When you ask question this can enhance your partner’s attraction and I can also allow you to gain information as well. This helps evaluate what is going on within the relationship however you need to be open and communicate anything that you have to say as well. I would use this strategy when we have a disagreement about certain topics. I would ask questions to diffuse turmoil and tension between us instead of going days without talking to each other. Hopefully this strategy would increase the level of communication and bring us closer together. When you identify and use conversation starters you should focus on being observant and find some free time to start a conversation. For instance, I can use this strategy when we are watching television and a movie comes on that we are both familiar with or when we are at dinner I could suggest something that she has never tried on the menu. This also will also help me express my emotions more to help maintain the relationship that I have will my wife. This is something that I normally don’t do and I have come to realize that this hinders the communication in our relationship if I open up more and share more intimate details of my life I would have a better relationship with her.

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