Submitted By rainypuppet
*For the purpose of this paper, I will be ignoring the events of the Holocaust, for it is the creation of an insane man and overshadows and corrupts the merit of an otherwise fully functioning and proactive government.
The creation of Totalitarianism, and its application in government in the early 20th century, was a necessary evil and one which prevented a greater future tragedy by its rescue of the German nation, and in a greater sense the global stabilization which it provided. You see, this is how all this shit went down. Me and my boy Olivander was straight ridin' down the main road through downtown Who-The-Fuck-Knows-Where, when all of a sudden these fuckin hoodlums run up on us and tryta gank our asses. My boy Olivander thinks just like me. He knows I wusn't gonna take this shit, and I knew he wasn't gonna take this shit. So we both go back to back fuckin matrix style, whip out our gats, and cap these muthafuckin scum bags right there. Right there is the fuckin alley. Then we searched these bitches and found a shitload of coupon to T.G.F. Fridays. So we fuckin snatched them coupons, bitch that owned em was fuckin dead anyway, and we hopped in my whip and took off at a rapid pace, right after we found the closest fridays on Olivander's TomTom. Ya dig? So we fuckin blazed across town like a mutha fuckin bullet and made it to the Fridays fifty miles away in fifteen minutes. An absofuckinlutely outrageous pace. We hopped up in that bitch and ordered us some muthafuckin pot pie. Shit was fuckin fresh. So we're sittin there in the booth, enjoyin our pot pie in silence. And we here these two guys in the booth next to us, whisperin about some fuckin totalitarianism shit, so we get a real keen ear and dropped some fuckin eaves if you know what I mean, and took a listen to what they was fuckin blabbin about. I didn't know there real names so I named the two voices Barbachev and Checkudov in my head. I hate Russians. So we start hearin what they saying.
Barbachev: Good sir, which form of government do you think most excellent in terms of sufficiency, strength, stability, and efficiency.
Checkudov: Suck your own mother's tit you flaming scoundrel. I ought to slap you upside the head.
Barbachev: well I think the best is totalitarianism.
Checkudov: Oh you think so? Very well, let it be so.
And from thence it was agreed upon by the gods Zeus and Poseidon that Totalitarianism would forever be the best form of government, on earth.