Free Essay

Most Important Paper

In: Social Issues

Submitted By twinlove
Words 1398
Pages 6
The Most Important Paper There is one thing that all people have in common: the need to empty their bowels. This process is a very personal matter for many people; most prefer to use the lavatory in the comfort of their own homes, but this is not always possible. People expect a sanitary, comfortable environment in which to use the restroom. They want to have interesting magazines at their disposal, a plunger nearby, anti-bacterial soap, and a fragrant aerosol spray. People could survive without these things; however, what they cannot live without is toilet paper. When latrine users walk into a restroom, sit on the loo, do their business, and realize there is no toilet paper, panic begins. Their worst nightmare has just become a reality. If they are lucky, someone will be in the next stall and lend them some toilet paper. If no one is around, they will have to compensate by using Kleenex or a paper towel, if it can be located. If none of these can be found, they will just have to drip dry or zip up their pants and find the nearest bathroom where they can finish the job. This is an outrage! This problem occurs everywhere across the globe, and it needs to be eliminated. Lack of toilet paper should be considered a criminal offense as it can cause infection and disease. In addition, it can affect a person’s social life because the smell is unbearable and no one will want to be around them. Furthermore, it may lead to severe anger problems when people take out their ‘lack of toilet paper’ frustrations on other people or themselves. The absence of toilet paper is a health hazard and is dangerous to the world’s population. The most important reason why this horrendous crime must be put to an end is that it causes disease and infection. This is especially pertinent to defecators. If they do not wipe their rectums after expelling feces, it will lead to a never-ending downward spiral of health problems and medical bills. The first thing that will go wrong is that the “restroom-philes” will experience a revolting feeling while pulling up their pants. Their underwear will stick to any feces still present on their anuses. Upon sitting there for some time, it will begin to irritate the skin. Cells on the first few layers of the skin will slough off and leave a diaper rash, causing the person to be unable to sit and making it difficult to walk. For females, if they do not wipe after urinating, it will result in a urinary tract infection. Since urine is also acidic, it will leave a rash on the skin if left there. The underwear will also be uncomfortable to wear all day because the moisture will seep through. Another problem that results from a deficiency of toilet paper is foul odor, which will lead to a lack of friends. If restroom users are unable to wipe themselves for a long period of time, they will develop a repugnant smell that will linger on their bodies. After a while, if they are unable to clean themselves properly, they may become used to their own stench and unaware that they have an odor. If their friends are too embarrassed to tell them that they need a bath and decide to just stop talking to them, the unhygienic restroom users may have an emotional meltdown. They may try to solve their feeling of isolation by using a psychiatrist, but this will lead to expensive therapy bills. The emotionally unstable people will then go into debt, and since they cannot afford the psychiatrist, they may commit suicide. People may also attempt to release their feelings of depression by consuming large amounts of junk food; this will lead to obesity and result in a variety of health risks, which will ultimately lead to death. Some people may also try to get the affection that they feel deprived of by acquiring numerous pets. If the animals are not kept in appropriate living conditions, this could lead to an unsanitary living environment. These horrible living conditions will lead to bacteria and mold which will infect the pet owners. If left untreated, these people may become ill and die. The absence of friends could also lead to criminal offenses such as prostitution or rape. Because of their odor, no one will want to be around them unless they pay for someone’s company or force it. Since prostitution and rape are illegal, they will be thrown in jail and could possibly spend the rest of their life in prison. The deprivation of toilet paper in restrooms may also cause anger issues. When people discover that they have entered a bathroom with no toilet paper, they may take their frustrations out on the bathroom wall or the empty toilet paper dispenser, which could result in broken bones and loss of blood. They could also take it out on innocent bystanders or those responsible for refilling the dispensers. Fear and panic could result from these violent acts, and the police may not be able to handle the overwhelming criminal activity. The world will be thrown into chaos. The absence of toilet paper in bathrooms has to be terminated. One way we could put this offense to a stop is to develop a never ending toilet paper dispenser; it will work similarly to a vending machine. As one toilet paper roll is used it will send a signal to provide another roll. This machine would be mandatory in all restrooms. There would also be maintenance workers who would be responsible for fixing the machine if it broke down. While the machine is in the shop, a temporary replacement would be provided so that there is never any fear of running out of toilet paper. Another solution to this problem is to create a sensor that would trigger an alarm to sound if no toilet paper was present. This alarm could only be turned off once the toilet paper was put in the dispenser. This would make sure the bathrooms are fully stocked at all times to avoid the ear piercing sound of the alarm. The alarm would be solar powered. The public would be notified of the places where the alarms are activated by broadcasting it on the news, radio, and newspapers. A warning message would also be sent via email to the owners of the restrooms.
Another way to stop the threat of insufficient toilet paper would be to make it a criminal offense if a bathroom is found without toilet paper. There would have to be a weekly inspection of restrooms by the toilet paper police. If a person is found guilty then they would be thrown in jail for forty days. If they repeated the offense, they would face a trial and the maximum penalty would be the death penalty. This would eliminate lazy people in charge of the restrooms and emphasize the importance of toilet paper’s availability. Everyday, people must risk their lives by entering into bathrooms not knowing if there is toilet paper present. In a perfect world they will always find some. Unfortunately, this is not a fairy tale. We should not leave our well-being in the hands of mere chance. When the populace must use the bathroom and perform the necessary function of emptying their waste, they want to be comforted by the thought that there will always be a toilet paper roll by their side. By using one or a combination of these solutions, we can easily crack down on the horrendous offense of not having toilet paper in bathrooms. The days of finding yourself panicking because of no toilet paper should be put behind you. This is a severe offense and should not be taken lightly. It can cause disease and infections. It can also cause an increase in violence due to people taking out their frustrations on themselves and others. The odor resulting from a lack of wiping, could lead to people taking drastic measures such as suicide or criminal offenses. The need to empty the bladder is an urge that everyone must comply with everyday. It is a very personal act that people want to do in comfort. This deed should not be done without the use of the most important paper: toilet paper.

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

Most Important Ethical Principles Paper

...1. What are the three most important ethical principles that you feel organizations should adhere (believe in or follow) to in terms of their staffing philosophies? Why? One of the most important ethical principles that I feel organizations should adhere to in terms of their staffing philosophies is there should be uniform guidelines for the staff selection processes. Another important ethical principle is there should be no evidence of discrimination when implementing hiring and staffing policies. The last important ethical principle is there should be no prejudice when reviewing tests. In order to know there is no biased opinion after tests are reviewed they should become a standard practice. These three principles will allow the staffing...

Words: 324 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Ancient Chinese Inventions

...Ancient Chinese Inventions Assignment 2 Christopher Macinkowicz 8/23/2013 Professor Ibrahim H. Alsaeed, Ph.D. World Cultures I Many people do not realize how many different and important inventions China has added to our world. Our everyday life would much different if it weren’t for the Chinese. From fishing reels to sunglasses, alcohol to the umbrella, many inventions that we take for granted are the result of ancient Chinese innovation. Even the fork and toilet paper were invented by the Chinese people. Although each of the inventions I have already mentioned is extremely important in their own way, there are four main Chinese inventions that I believe have changed the course of history. They are, in no particular order, gunpowder, paper, the compass, and silk. I will discuss each one of these four very important inventions in this paper and also reveal which one I believe has been the most important to my personal life. First off, let’s talk about gunpowder. Gunpowder is a highly volatile compound that is made from potassium nitrate and charcoal. Originally used to treat skin diseases as far back as 140 AD, eventually the Chinese people mastered the art of igniting the gunpowder to launch fireworks and rockets which were used to defend China from Mongol invaders as early as the 9th or 10th century AD. Gunpowder has since been used by people all over the world for purposes ranging from hunting to warfare. Were it not for the discovery of gunpowder...

Words: 1095 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Swdcc

...your paper (and cite it). #4 sticks out doesn’t it? It seems obvious that #1 would be the most important objective for a title. But as search and electronic publishing becomes more and more important in research I’ve come to believe that the last point (search) may indeed be the most important. Think of it as SEO (search engine optimization) for your research vision. The importance of research vision SEO I’m sorry to say that I’ve attended more than one talk at an important international conference where someone else presented a paper exactly describing an idea I had published earlier. Whose fault is that? Well it was my fault. When I dug up my old paper I realized that the particular idea wasn’t reflected in the paper title at all. It was “buried” in the content. Most people begin a research project with a comprehensive review of the literature. It is crucially important that they find your paper when they’re at the beginning of their research/writing cycle. Assuming your work is good, if they find your paper early on, you’ll help them avoid reproducing your work, and perhaps encourage them to make use of your ideas as they go forward. And of course you’d like them to cite your paper as well. A well crafted title is the best way to accomplish this goal. How does one accomplish this with a title? The most important thing to realize is that long titles are OK. Don’t prioritize a short, snappy title at the expense of a full description. Make sure that your important claims...

Words: 326 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Int Task 3 Paper Towel Absorbency

...Western Governors University INT1 Task 3 Paper Towel Absorbency A. Project Plan I am conducting an experiment to determine which, paper towel brands: Bounty, Viva, Great Value, or Sparkle is the most absorbent for everyday spills. I will be testing how much water each paper towel absorbs from 60 milliliters of water. · Problem Statement I will measure the amount of water, in milliliters, that each paper towel absorbs from a beaker. The independent variable is the different types of similar sized paper towels. The dependent variable will be the millimeters of water in the beakers. Which paper towel brand soaks up, meaning leaves behind the least amount of water, the highest amount of the 60 milliliters of water? I will test the absorbance of each brand of paper towel by placing each paper towel into the same amount of water for 15 seconds and then remove each paper towel allowing it to drip for 15 seconds. After measuring the water left behind in the pan I will compare the average of 3 trials for each brand to determine which paper towel brand absorbs the most water. · Relevance of my testable question This experiment is important to the real world because that every household has spills to clean up and there are many options at different price ranges to choose from. Knowing which paper towel brand absorbs the most liquid will help every day families make the decision of the best paper towel to buy for their home. · Literature Review: I found 2 projects...

Words: 2494 - Pages: 10

Premium Essay

Position Paper

...Position paper From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia A position paper is an essay that presents an opinion about an issue, typically that of the author or another specified entity; such as a political party. Position papers are published in academia, in politics, in law and other domains. Position papers range from the simplest format of a letter to the editor through to the most complex in the form of an academic position paper. Position papers are also used by large organizations to make public the official beliefs and recommendations of the group. In academia Position papers in academia enable discussion on emerging topics without the experimentation and original research normally present in an academic paper. Commonly, such a document will substantiate the opinions or positions put forward with evidence from an extensive objective discussion of the topic. In politics Position papers are most useful in contexts where detailed comprehension of another entity's views is important; as such, they are commonly used by political campaigns, government organizations, in the diplomatic world, and in efforts to change values (e.g. through public service announcements) and organisational branding. They are also an important part of the Model United Nations process. In government, a position paper lies somewhere between a white paper and a green paper in that they affirm definite opinions and propose solutions but may not go so far as detailing specific plans for implementation...

Words: 1657 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Good Thesis Statement

...Have you ever had to write an essay in class or for an assignment? Most kids do, and most of them dislike it. But, writing essays is something that everyone goes through, and it’s a common writing practice. And, if you want to write a good essay, you have to use sensory details, and have a good thesis statement. Those aren’t the only two things you have to do to have a good essay, but in my opinion their the most important. These two things will make your paper great, and impress your teacher. Having a good thesis statement is a very important thing in an essay. Without it, people don't really know the point you're trying to make, or even why you wrote the paper. Thesis statement state what your essay is going to be about, your point or argument,...

Words: 393 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

The Leader in You

...present a paper, especially one authored by someone else, by talking through it section by section or page by page. The student reads out the definitions and points the audience to the figures. Anything in italics is read out. The student works through the paper linearly, taking great care not to miss anything that the author might have written that might possibly be relevant. This approach is not useful because all that is happening is that the student is reading the paper aloud, forgetting that the audience is perfectly capable of reading the paper themselves and in most cases has already done so. Here is a different approach. If you're presenting the paper: • Read the paper ahead of time, and decide what you think of the ideas presented in the paper. (Here are some tips on how to read a research paper.) In particular, decide whether you think the paper has some good ideas or whether it belongs in the recycling bin. Keep in mind that very few papers have no worthwhile ideas whatsoever; however, if you're convinced that your paper belongs in this category, follow the steps listed below for critiquing a paper. • Next, decide which idea is the best idea (or a small cluster of related ideas) in the paper. "Best" may mean most novel, most central, most relevant, most clever, most important, and so on. Write down this idea, preferably in your own words, and a one-line justification for why this idea is the best one. (This step is particularly important when the paper you're presenting...

Words: 543 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Survival Guide

... On the first day of classes with Axia College, it is important to login and download the course materials and syllabus. I have found that by making folders under My Documents labeled first with the course name, and then inside have folders labeled each week 1-9 where I save the relevant materials for the weeks work. After downloading the files to the appropriate files, it is best to break up the syllabus. I like to copy and paste each week of the syllabus to a word document filed again under the corresponding week. This makes it easy to access what is needed for the week. It is also important to download the course calendar to keep a closer watch on when assignments are due. By looking at the course calendar at the beginning of each week you will be able to manage your assignments accordingly. After reading through the course syllabus and downloading course materials the next step is to check the main forum. The main forum is where your instructor posts information about what changes may be made for the week and also posts the weekly discussion questions for you to answer. In the main forum only the instructor will post topics. This is the area in which we as students post replies to the teacher and also our classmates. These posts are the only ones that apply to your weekly participation grade. It is very important to follow the discussion through the week and post two replies a day...

Words: 1618 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Disadvantages of Plagiarism

...HOW TO USE SOURCES IN YOUR PAPER A Tutorial Using outside research sources Most writers who are asked to use outside research sources in their academic papers have problems at one time or another with at least one of the following questions: I’m lost!! Common Questions  What is a citation?  Why do I need to cite?  What is a source?  What does it mean to quote, paraphrase, and summarize a source?  What is a citation style?  What does it mean to plagiarize? Understanding why Before learning what these words and phrases mean, it is important to understand why they are needed. Why we need to cite sources Intellectual property is the product The reason that the citation (or listing) of outside sources in a paper is needed is that in the United States and many other of one countries, the concept of intellectual person’s property (property that is the product of mind. someone’s mind) is very important. What is intellectual property? Intellectual property is treated by the law in the same way as a new Idea Property of Owner mechanical invention would be. Intellectual property is an original idea or information (usually stated in words and/or numbers) that is treated as the property of its creator. Whose idea is it anyway? You must This idea cannot be used by other another identify the writer without a statement telling the words or reader...

Words: 1960 - Pages: 8

Premium Essay

Student Studying

...be. The goal for me when I write my rough draft is to try my absolute best to write a potent well-polished paper. This way I can go over it and have a peer review my paper to edit my paper to perfection. Using ideas such as checking vocabulary, checking for fragments, and also if the paper made sense. There is a river point driver that can format your paper for you and there is a plagiarism checker to make sure your paper is close to 100 % originality. 2.) What steps should be taken before creating the first draft of a research paper? : Before creating the first draft of a research paper I believe that one should complete their research. After they have done research that person should be creative and locate their thesis statement. Step three should be to break down there thesis statement into 5 important topics. Step four is to use your research to prove those 5 important topics to prove your thesis. Step 6 is to write a conclusion, restating your thesis and why your topic is true/false. 3.) Why is it important to use quotations and paraphrases when documenting your sources? Explain : Quotations and phrases are important because it shows the crafty side of a writer and is the proper way of using a writer’s etiquette when writing your paper. As you document your sources the most important objective is not using quotations and paraphrases, the most important objective is to correctly cite your source because if it not correctly cited it could result in an immediate...

Words: 525 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Essay

...idea of how to do it in very simple and easy steps. Once you have a Google account, you can go to (analytics.google.com). Here you will be greeted with three steps that you need to complete for setting your Google Analytics account. On clicking ‘Sign Up’ button you will land of this page where you are required to fill in all important details related to your website After filling in all the details when you click the ‘Submit’ button a page will appear in front of you that would be like this Once you are finished, you will click the ‘Get Tracking ID’ button a pop-up will appear with Google terms and conditions, which you have to agree to. Then you will get your GA Tracking code. This needs to be placed on all pages of your website. The installation depends on the nature of website. For example in a Wordpress site the framework has a specific area where header and footer scripts of GA code can be added. With the code placed on all pages of the site, tracking of visitors as well as other important dimensions will commence. 2. What are the 2-5 most important tools/features that beginning GA users should know? Why are these important? Online Assignment Help for...

Words: 3016 - Pages: 13

Premium Essay

Accounting Professor

...in Accounting Brooke Beyer, Don Herrmann, Gary K. Meek, and Eric T. Rapley ABSTRACT: The purpose of this paper is to provide a concise career guide for current and potential doctoral students in accounting and, in the process, help them gain a greater awareness of what it means to be an accounting professor. The guide can also be used by accounting faculty in doctoral programs as a starting point in mentoring their doctoral students. We begin with foundational guidance to help doctoral students better understand the “big picture” surrounding the academic accounting environment. We then provide specific research guidance and publishing guidance to help improve the probability of publication success. Actions are suggested that doctoral students and new faculty can take to help jump-start their academic careers. We finish with guidance regarding some important acronyms of special interest to doctoral students in accounting. Keywords: career guidance; doctoral students; research; publishing. INTRODUCTION igher education faces a severe, and growing, shortage of accounting professors. As a result, the job prospects for new accounting doctoral graduates are very good and are getting better. Starting salaries are increasing, but so are the requirements for tenure and promotion. In particular, the requirements to produce more and better research are growing in most schools. An ad hoc committee of the American Accounting Association ͑AAA͒ was formed approximately five years...

Words: 10477 - Pages: 42

Premium Essay

Case2

...on Accounting Education Volume 6, 2009, 25-45 READING AND UNDERSTANDING ACADEMIC RESEARCH IN ACCOUNTING: A GUIDE FOR STUDENTS Teresa P. Gordon College of Business and Economics University of Idaho Moscow, Idaho USA Jason C. Porter College of Business and Economics University of Idaho Moscow, Idaho USA ABSTRACT The ability to read and understand academic research can be an important tool for practitioners in an increasingly complex accounting and business environment. This guide was developed to introduce students to the world of academic research. It is not intended for PhD students or others who wish to perform academic research. Instead, the guide should make published academic research more accessible and less intimidating so that future practitioners will be able to read empirical research and profitably apply the relevant findings. The guide begins by examining the importance of academic research for practitioners in accounting and next reviews the basics of the research process. With that background in place, we then give some guidelines and helpful hints for reading and evaluating academic papers. This guide has been used for several years to introduce master’s degree students to academic literature in an accounting theory class. After reading this guide and seeing a demonstration presentation by the professor, students have been able to successfully read and discuss research findings. Key words: Understanding empirical research, supplemental readings, importance...

Words: 12034 - Pages: 49

Premium Essay

China's Greatest Inventions Dbq

...Some of the world’s greatest inventions came from China. Throughout history, emperors inspired the development of science and technology, and for centuries China led others into these areas. The world is forever in debt to China for its inventions and ideas. Some of the most important innovations were paper, gunpowder, and silk. The first important invention from China is paper. In Document 2, it shows how important paper was to China. Obviously writing on pure wood is a lot harder than writing on paper. It also takes a lot more wood (obviously). Just imagine today’s education system without paper. It would be so much different. Document 2 says that making paper took plenty of bamboo fiber. In order to create it, they used a mold with a bamboo...

Words: 382 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Ancient Chinese Contributions

...contributed to our world civilization’s achievements in the fields of agriculture, shipping, astronomy, printing, oil, martial arts, ammunition, and mathematics. Ancient Chinese inventions such as gunpowder, silk, paper, printing, tea, wheel barrow, iron plows, deep drilling, porcelain, toilet paper and the compass were and still are important pieces of Chinese and global life. These inventions were major blocks in the building of the world that we know today. The four main innovations that I consider essential in our lives are printing, gunpowder, compass, and paper. The method of printing and woodblock, or movable, printing are considered ancient Chinese inventions. This ancient Chinese invention was seen before the first dated book in 868 (Lad). Printing books was time-consuming, as the blackline method used required a new block to be carved for each page. Movable type in printing was invented during the Song Dynasty. Movable Chinese characters were carved from wood, which could be arranged as needed and even reused. Later versions used clay, but these broke easily. During the Ming Dynasty, the wooden movable type was refined and books were printed using the two-color printing process. After the development of paper, printing was one of the most important inventions as it led to expansion in spreading stories, news, and knowledge. Another innovation that changed the world was gunpowder. Gunpowder is believed to be development as a by-product of trying to make...

Words: 985 - Pages: 4