Free Essay

Mr Man

In: Novels

Submitted By bwoerte
Words 4101
Pages 17
Animal Jokes
Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
A: To get a mini soda!
———-
Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
———-
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!
———-
Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!
———-
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
———-
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
———-
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
———-
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas
———-
Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile
———-
Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
———-
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.
———-
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
———-
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
———-
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan
———-
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story
———-
Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
———-
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!
———-
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!
———-
Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!
———-
Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!
———-
Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards!
———-
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
———-
Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.
———-
Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!
———-
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
———-
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
A: Me-ow!
———-
Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
———-
Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
———-
Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!
———-
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Porkchop!
———-
Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!
———-
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
———-
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!
———-
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.
———-
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!
———-
Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!
———-
Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!
———-
Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!
———-
Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
———-
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
———-
Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.
———-
Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.
———-
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
———-
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!
———-
Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
———-
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
———-
Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.
———-
Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.
———-
Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.
———-
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
———-
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
———-
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
———-
Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.
———-
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.
———-
Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!
———-
Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!
———-
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!
———-
Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.
———-
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
———-
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
———-
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
———-
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
———-
Q: What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A: A cheetah!
———-
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
———-
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk with a rash.
———-
Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.
———-
Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.
———-
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!
———-
Q: What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
A: The banana split!
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
———-
Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
———-
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
———-
Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
A: With flood lighting.
———-
Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.
———-
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible.
———-
Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people.
———-
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
———-
Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.
———-
There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s what I was going to say.”
———-
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
———-
Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!
———-
Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
A: Glass flippers.
———-
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish
———-
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.
———-
Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew.
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
———-
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Plug its nose.
———-
Q: What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A: A mouse on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.
———-
Q: What is a cow’s favorite place?
A: The mooseum.
———-
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
———-
Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
A: Decalfinated!
———-
Q: What do you call a mad elephant?
A: An earthquake.
———-
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
———-
Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.
———-
Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
———-
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A: A coat of arms.
———-
Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!
———-
Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
A: Bison!
———-
Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A: A cow on a skateboard.
———-
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?
A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
———-
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
———-
Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.
———-
Cow: “Mooooove over!”
Sheep: “Naaaaaaa.”
———-
Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter.
———-
Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
A: Because his feet stink!
———-
Q: What’s a dog’s favorite food for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.
———-
Q: What do you give a pig with a rash?
A: Oinkment.
———-
Q: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.
———-
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A: Three skunks fighting over a pickle!
———-
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy!
———-
Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.
———-
Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What pine has the longest needles?
A: A porcupine.
———-
Q: What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot?
A: A porcupine with split ends!
———-
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: The chicken wasn’t around yet.
———-
Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs!
———-
Q: What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A: A buck.
———-
Q: What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
A: Croak-a-cola.
———-
Q: What’s an alligator’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-Ade.
———-
Q: What do you call snake with no clothes on?
A: Snaked.
———-
Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!
———-
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the mooooooovies.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: A try and try and try-ceratops!
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
———-
Q: What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A: A kitten.
———-
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.
———-
Q: What did the snail say when he got on the turtle’s shell?
A: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
———-
Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop.
———-
Q: Why can’t hippos ride bicycles?
A: Bike helmets don’t fit hippos!
———-
Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
———-
Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.
———-
Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!
———-
Q: What do you call a messy hippo?
A: A hippopota-mess!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky
———-
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?
———-
Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine
———-
Q: Where do horses live?
A: In the neigh-borhood.
———-
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Because they don’t fit on a ironing board!
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
A: Mice krispies
———-
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year
———-
Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A: A Dogwood!
———-
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A swordfish!
———-
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!
———-
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
———-
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
———-
Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A: A dino-sore!
———-
Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
A: Squash!

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!
Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.
Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.
Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!
Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!
Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
A: Because he wears a size “S”.
Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!
“Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
“Please be quiet and comb your face.”
Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!
Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.
Q: What do birds say on Halloween?
A: Twick o tweet
Q: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost?
A: A cocker poodle boo.
Q: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
A: Mummies!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!
Q: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A: Bone appetit!
Q: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
A: Scarespray!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.
Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.
Q: What did one owl say to the other owl?
A: Happy Owl-ween!
Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.
Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.
Q: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
A: Do you believe in humans?
Q: What do vampires take when they are sick?
A: Coffin drops!
Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
A: Count Quackula!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
A: Booberry pie!
Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta.
Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was in his apple.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue knocked on this door before?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know. I’ve got amnesia.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
King Tut.
King Tut who?
King Tut-key fried chicken!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it’s cold out here.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place we can get something to eat?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!

Q: What has a foot but no legs?
A: A snail
Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
A: Nothing
Q: What comes down but never goes up?
A: Rain
Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle
Q: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?
A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!
Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.
Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?
A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!
Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
A: The doctor is his mom!
Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!
Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.
Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A: A stamp!
Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?
A: The letter M
Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi
Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.
Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
A: EMPTY
Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock
Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.
Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.
Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?
A: The letter W!
Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
A: His breath!
Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A: A teapot!
Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
A: Silence.
Q: You walk into a room with a match, a karosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.
Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?
A: It was a bright and sunny day!
Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A: A palm!
Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?
A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!
Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle
Q: A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A: A Catcher and Umpire.
Q: Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound!
Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All 12 months!
Q: A frog jumped into a pot of cream and started treading. He soon felt something solid under his feet and was able to hop out of the pot. What did the frog feel under his feet?
A: The frog felt butter under his feet, because he churned the cream and made butter.
Q: A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
A: The chain is not attached to anything.
Q: If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?
A: Glass
Q: What goes up a chimney down but can’t come down a chimney up?
A: an umberella
Q: We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?
A: The letter “E”
Q: Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
A: The president!
Q: They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?
A: Stars!
Q: How do you make the number one disappear?
A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”
Q; What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age!

Similar Documents

Free Essay

Mr Gallon Man Siop Assignment

...Christine Burke Mr. Gallon Man SIOP Lesson Plan Grade Level: 2nd Grade Students at the 2nd grade level are starting to learn and understand how liquid is measured and how to solve measurement problems. Unlike kindergarten and 1st grade level students, 2nd grade students are beginning to understand and start wondering about how liquids are measured Theme: “Mr. Gallon Man” Exploring measurements of liquid using Gallons, quarts, pints, and cups. Standards: State Level Standard for 2nd Grade Level students such as; II-LS, II-R, II-W, II-L, AZ-CCS 3.MD.A.2, and AZ-CCS 2.OA.A.1. Background Building: For the past month, students have had been learning about measuring liquid using cups, pints, quarts, and gallons. They have watched the “Gallon Man song” video during carpet song time. During carpet time, students listen and sing the song, while the visual video is displayed on the smart board. In the “Gallon Man song”, students learn about how two cups equal 1 pint, two pints equal 1 quart and how four quarts equal 1 gallon. English proficiency levels: beginning through advanced Lesson Topic This lesson will be completed in three days, and students will learn measurements by learning that: 2 cups = 1 pint 2 pints = 1 quart 4 quarts = 1 gallon The first day students will be paired to create Mr. Gallon man using cups, pints, quarts, and gallons. The second day students will create a story about Mr. Gallon man to share......

Words: 1278 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Mr Man

...HP Envy dv7t-7200 Quad Edition Notebook PC Acer Aspire V3-571-9890 1) Compare the following items for your selections: a. Price: HP $999.99, Acer $729.99 b. Delivery Charges: HP Standard shipping $9.99, Acer Standard Ground Shipping $15.00 c. Financing Options: HP No payments/Interest if paid full in 12 months, Acer no current offer d. Discounts: HP additional 15% off accessories with pc purchase, Acer free overnight shipping e. Coupons: Could not find coupons, companies possibly send these with shipped items f. Warranties: HP Two year limited hardware warranty, Acer one year international travelers limited warranty g. Installation Offered: HP windows 8 os, Norton internet security 2012, hp games; Acer windows 8 os h. Recycling of Old Components Offered: HP offers information on recycling different products in your local area, Acer also has a recycling program with information on how to dispose of components in your area. 2) What are some factors that can impact the gross profit of a merchandise company? There are many different factors that can impact the gross profit of a merchandise company including an increase in supplies, labor, and taxes. Anything that increases the cost of producing a product or providing a service affects the gross profit of the merchandise/service. In many markets, companies do not have the ability to increase the price of their product just because of increase in production costs, thus costing them......

Words: 1487 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Mr Man

...Stomach is house of disease. People should have a choice to whatever they want to eat not whatever they can afford. Thanks to the modern technology and the developments in the medical field, the population is getting larger and larger. Thus, the average life span has grown bigger. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean that our contributing in our society is going to increase. We are not eating food anymore, we are eating food-like products and we are increasing the possibility of cancer and obesity and the diseases that tag along with it among other types of illnesses and this benefits the industry. The industries don’t want you to know the truth about the food because if you knew you might not want to eat it anymore. And that not just for fast food restaurants, because even when you are not eating at a fast food restaurant, you are still eating food that have been produced by the system. Another question is how old is the food. With the modern technology in transportation, we can get all sorts of seasonal food in every day. A vegetable basket travels thousands of miles to get to your next door supermarket at what cost? How much nutrition values are still in it. By the time you buy it and cook it, most of the nutrition elements get deteriorated. Nerveless the chemicals that have been used in the process of the export. In addition to spraying pesticides in almost everything we grow. Genetically modifying everything they could lay their hands on just to make more in......

Words: 548 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Mr Business Man

...Shock the Future, LLC Course: IME 255 - Engineering Economy Instructor: Dr. Yildirim   Table of Contents: Proposed Business 3 Problem Statement 3 Business Concept with Industry Analysis 3 Competitor Analysis 3 Target Market 4 Strategic Positioning 4 Critical Risks 4 Economics of the Business and Operations Plan: 5 Primary Ten Year Plan 5 Details of Alternative Plans 6 Analysis………...…………………………………………………………………………………7 Conclusions…………………………………………………………………………………….…7 Appendix 8 References…………………………….…………………………………………………………11   Proposed Business Problem Statement The importance of obtaining a college education to work in today’s society cannot be overstated. That is why in recent years high schools have started to encourage students to pursue a college education as well as begin to prepare the students for college. The current methods high schools are implementing offer general ways of preparing students for college that are often times ineffective and lack proper execution. Since college preparation is critical for high school students to increase their chance of successfully graduating from college, it is now more crucial than ever before to provide proper college preparation for tomorrow’s college students. However college preparation requires more than just helpful techniques for studying and teaching yourself. College preparation also requires a good amount of hard work and learning core subjects that form the foundation for which we build......

Words: 3537 - Pages: 15

Premium Essay

Pride and Prejudice

...focuses on Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. The title of this book consists of the themes of the novel, but the initial title of the book was to be "First Impressions.” I feel that Elizabeth's prejudice was in her opinion based on first impression, and her pride was developed as determination that her impressions were correct. I see both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy having great amounts of pride and prejudice, and because of this it was hard for them to become close to each other in the beginning of the novel. From the start when Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy attend the town ball we see that Mr. Darcy feels that Elizabeth is beneath him and thus he shall not dance with her. Mr. Darcy displays a lot of pride in this section of the book and it is possible that he doesn't feel comfortable being around all of the people that were at the ball because he considers them to be in a lower social group. Elizabeth can see that Mr. Darcy is a man with a lot of pride and this is the cause of Elizabeth's prejudice against Mr. Darcy and it is the beginning of her negative attitude that she has toward him for the rest of the book. Elizabeth shows later on in the book that she considers Mr. Wickham to be a great man with good intentions. She had pictured Mr. Wickham to be so great after her first encounter with him because he was a gentleman and very respectful, but later she finds out about the man Mr. Wickham really is. In the letter that she receives from Mr. Darcy explaining that Mr. Wickham......

Words: 663 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Memo

...Statement of Facts: On the night Leroy McPhillen was a patron of The Bottom’s Up Pub, an intoxicated man began shouting obscenities at a woman seated at a table near Mr. McPhillen. As the woman ignored the man’s ranting, the man then approached the woman in a threatening manner. Before the man reached the woman, Mr. McPhillen invited the man to join him at his table. The man refused and grabbed the woman’s wrist. Mr. McPhillen then carefully twisted the man’s arm behind his back and restrained him with a neck hold. Mr. McPhillen refused the man’s request to release him, and firmly seated the man and threatened to punch him if he moved. The woman then informed Mr. McPhillen that the man was her husband. Issue / Questions presented: The questions presented are (1) which intentional torts were committed, and (2) what defenses are available to the tortfeasors? Short Answer: In this case, both the intoxicated man and Mr. McPhillen are in fact guilty of committing intentional torts. Both parties do have arguable defenses available. However, more information is needed regarding (1) events occurring prior to the Assault and Battery on the woman, and (2) the duration of the intoxicated man’s confinement. In order to determine which applicable statutes apply, and each party’s available defenses, we must first define each intentional tort committed. ......

Words: 1191 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Leroy Mchphillen

... FACTS: Leroy McPhillen was a regular patron of The Bottom’s Up Pub, an intoxicated man named John, began shouting obscenities at a woman seated at a table near Mr. McPhillen. As the woman ignored the man’s ranting, the man approached the woman in a threatening manner. Before the man reached the woman, Mr. McPhillen invited the man to join him at his table. The man refused and grabbed the woman’s wrist. Mr. McPhillen then carefully twisted the man’s arm behind his back and restrained him with a neck hold. Mr. McPhillen refused the man’s request to release him, and firmly seated the man and threatened to punch him if he moved. The woman then informed Mr. McPhillen that the man was her husband. ISSUE: The questions presented are which intentional torts were committed, and what defenses are available to the tortfeasors? Both John and Leroy are guilty of committing intentional torts. Both parties have debatable defenses. Though the fact remains that more information is needed regarding the events that occurred prior to the assault and battery to the woman, and the time of how long the intoxicated man was confined. Before determining what are the applicable statues and what each parties defense may be we must first explain each intentional tort committed. Intentional Torts: The first intentional tort was the intoxicated man’s...

Words: 1003 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Pride and Prejudice - Mr Darcey Analysis

...In this extract Austin uses several techniques to portray Mr Darcy’s personality. In chapter three when Mr Bingley was invited to attend ball he brings a few associates with him namely; his two sisters, a brother in law, and a friend named Mr Darcy. They all catch some attention when they enter the hall, however, Mr Darcy attracts the most attention for several reasons, firstly a report has circulated the room outlining his salary, which, is a large ten thousand a year (around £796,000) People start to see him differently, as was, and still is the way most people see others. This makes Mr Darcy “much handsomer than Mr Bingley” to the women in the room and “a fine figure of a man” to all the men in the room. However as the night moves on opinions start to change about Mr Darcy. Everyone unanimously agreed that he had “a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance” and being proud and above his company. In Austin’s writing she portrays many fairly unsociable aspects of Mr Darcy, such as him having “danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley” as he “declined being introduced to any other lady” suggesting that Mr Darcy is exceedingly distant and cold towards anyone he had not prior met. Austin describes Mr Darcy as having a “forbidding, disagreeable countenance” and states that he is “unworthy of being compared with his friend” this tells us the Austin not only disliked the man but tells us that she not only thought that he was an unlikable elitist......

Words: 624 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Paper

...Ted Bundy Derrick Stogner CJS/231 April 6, 2015 Corry Powers Ted Bundy Who is Ted Bundy, what makes him do things he does or has done? The questions not just posed at Mr. Bundy but to anyone that commits crimes of this nature or serious crimes in general. How can a college educated man with aspirations of being the Governor of Washington State, a man who by those that knew him believed that he could be the Governor, a man by those same people who saw him as a loyal friend and charming. This is man who study psychology and was very well liked by his professors. This is a man that by any right is no different than the well liked neighbor down the street or the middle school teacher your children love or just another young republican looking at their future in politics down the road after graduation. But this man is different, this man suffers not on the outside but on the inside. He mental can separate what is right and wrong but can’t control is urges as a child nor can he control the urges he has a young adult or even when he is a grown man. No, this man is not a man at all, no he is not the role model to look up to or strive to be, no he is the monster that does not hide in the shadows he is the monster that stands face to face with you smiles and shakes yours hand then as you look into his eyes you believe him and then before you know it you are trapped and helpless and without any hope of survival, the monster has you. The monster in...

Words: 1463 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Rossi Bio

...successful life is a fruitful life that points to Christ. In my opinion Mr. Anthony Rossi lived a very successful life, not only is he know as a great man and great business man. He is more importantly known as a great man of God. Section 1: Character Traits Unfortunately, there are not many men that are like Mr. Anthony Rossi. He was a man of many strong character traits. Just one of these traits would be hard to find in a man, let alone all of them in one man. In fact, I believe that if more men possessed these traits there would be a smaller amount of passive men which would lead to stronger families and more God-honoring families. One of the traits that Mr. Rossi had was he was a Godly man. When he truly found out who Jesus was, finding out more or just being in a constant relationship with Jesus was his top priority. We see this a couple times in the book. First was when we read He got up every morning and spent time in God’s Word.1 This isn’t just something you do just because you just happened to wake up early. He made it part of his daily schedule, he set aside time specifically for growing in his relationship with Christ. A second time we see this is when a bible study with his friends becomes a must for him to go to.2 Mr. Rossi was a very busy man with a growing Tropicana business but he made sure he had time to go to this bible study to deepen his relationship with Christ. A second trait Mr. Rossi had was perseverance. We see many examples of this throughout......

Words: 1157 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Babylon Revisited

...see each other after a long period of ten months. Charlie was welcomed at her sisters in laws place where her daughter stayed in the care of Marion. As the discussion between Charlie and lincon started, Charlie explained how he was doing well now and how things are now better than ever. His last years income was bigger than it was when he had money. He told Lincoln of his interest on bringing her sister fro America to keep the house for him. This explains how Charlie is starting to get life over again. Charlie is responsible now on his drinking habit. Earlier on he used to spend most of the time in bars where he wasted a lot of money. He remembered when giving thousand-franc notes to an orchestra and hundred-franc notes given to a door man for calling a taxi. He has changed to drink everyday which leads him to deny Marions cocktail offer. This astonishes Marion but she hopes that Charlie will stick to that character. In this paragraph we see that Charlie has become responsible enough compared to olden days when he used to squander a lot of money. Charlie is showing much love to her daughter that he is determined give her anything she wishes for that day. He offers to take her to vaudeville and later on to the toy store. Her daughter seems to understand the financial situation they were in and considers only going to the vaudeville. Charlie was strict in the past but now he reached for new tolerance because he has to be the mother and father of her daughter. Charlie......

Words: 1278 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Anthony T. Rossi, Christian and Entrepreneur

...successful life is a fruitful life that points to Christ. In my opinion Mr. Anthony Rossi lived a very successful life, not only is he know as a great man and great business man. He is more importantly known as a great man of God. Section 1: Character Traits Unfortunately, there are not many men that are like Mr. Anthony Rossi. He was a man of many strong character traits. Just one of these traits would be hard to find in a man, let alone all of them in one man. In fact, I believe that if more men possessed these traits there would be a smaller amount of passive men which would lead to stronger families and more God-honoring families. One of the traits that Mr. Rossi had was he was a Godly man. When he truly found out who Jesus was, finding out more or just being in a constant relationship with Jesus was his top priority. We see this a couple times in the book. First was when we read He got up every morning and spent time in God’s Word.1 This isn’t just something you do just because you just happened to wake up early. He made it part of his daily schedule, he set aside time specifically for growing in his relationship with Christ. A second time we see this is when a bible study with his friends becomes a must for him to go to.2 Mr. Rossi was a very busy man with a growing Tropicana business but he made sure he had time to go to this bible study to deepen his relationship with Christ. A second trait Mr. Rossi had was perseverance. We see many examples of this throughout......

Words: 1157 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

My Summer Job

...many holes allowing too much ventilation and they appeared to have no soles. The old man shuffled into the coffee shop and ordered his normal cup of coffee without sugar and many times, I would see him looking longingly at the delicious pastries which adorned the shelves. So, I would purchase two doughnuts and a pie for him to eat during the day and also give him another cup of coffee to take with him as well. The man’s eyes would always light up with gratitude and as he smiled, one could see the coffee stained teeth which seemed as though it was never cleaned and as he passed by, one could get the smell of garbage implying that this man lived and slept on the sidewalks. As he shuffled outside again, all the patrons turned to look at him, regarding him as a disgusting, bothersome fly. My kindness extended to the man as I made it my duty to collect old clothing which the neighbours in my street wished to discard and I would give it to the old man when he came into the store. My fellow co-workers questioned my actions and I would just consider it as a kind deed to an unfortunate human. On several occasions, when the old man came into the shop, I would notice the owner, Mr Job, speaking to him harshly and gesticulating wildly, but I never did question his actions for I thought that Mr Job was plainly scolding the man for always coming into the shop and disturbing the customers. A week later, Mr Job’s father died and two days after the funeral, when everyone resumed work, I......

Words: 802 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Naru

...a grown man, David Copperfield tells the story of his youth. As a young boy, he lives happily with his mother and his nurse, Peggotty. His father died before he was born. During David’s early childhood, his mother marries the violent Mr. Murdstone, who brings his strict sister, Miss Murdstone, into the house. The Murdstones treat David cruelly, and David bites Mr. Murdstone’s hand during one beating. The Murdstones send David away to school. Peggotty takes David to visit her family in Yarmouth, where David meets Peggotty’s brother, Mr. Peggotty, and his two adopted children, Ham and Little Em’ly. Mr. Peggotty’s family lives in a boat turned upside down—a space they share with Mrs. Gummidge, the widowed wife of Mr. Peggotty’s brother. After this visit, David attends school at Salem House, which is run by a man named Mr. Creakle. David befriends and idolizes an egotistical young man named James Steerforth. David also befriends Tommy Traddles, an unfortunate, fat young boy who is beaten more than the others. David’s mother dies, and David returns home, where the Murdstones neglect him. He works at Mr. Murdstone’s wine-bottling business and moves in with Mr. Micawber, who mismanages his finances. When Mr. Micawber leaves London to escape his creditors, David decides to search for his father’s sister, Miss Betsey Trotwood—his only living relative. He walks a long distance to Miss Betsey’s home, and she takes him in on the advice of her mentally unstable friend, Mr.......

Words: 688 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Monsieur Loisel Character Analysis

...fame or lavish fortune. However, the man with a loving and devoted character should be the most treasured. In The Necklace, by Guy de Maupassant, Monsieur Loisel is the loving husband of Mathilde Loisel. He never achieves an ideal status or accumulates any fortune, but is a very respectable man. Mr. Loisel’s humble, hardworking and loyal personality show that his type of character should be more appreciated in this world. Humility is apparent in Mr. Loisel by his unassuming attitude and simple desires. An example of Mr. Loisel’s appreciation of simplicity is most shown when he sits down to dinner and exclaims, “Ah, a good homemade beef stew! There’s nothing better,” (193). Mr. Loisel’s genuine excitement for a simple, yet tasteful dinner reveals his contentment with what he has. This is very unlike Mme. Loisel who, “visualizes elegant dinners with gleaming silver amid tapestried walls peopled by knights and ladies and exotic birds in a fairy forest/ she would think of exquisite dishes served on gorgeous china,” (193). Another example of Mr. Loisel’s humility is at the ball. Instead of partying all night and pushing the limit of capabilities like his wife, he accepts that his night of fun was over. He is found sleeping in a small, deserted sitting room at midnight. His wife on the other hand, stayed up for the whole party and left at four o’clock in the morning in a state of kef from her fantasy dream-like party. This shows that Mr. Loisel has the humility to......

Words: 839 - Pages: 4