|THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT MODE INSTRUMENT |
| |
|Directions: |
| |
|Read each of the following statements about conflict. |
|Indicate which of the two statements (“A” or “B”) best represents your behavior during conflict. |
|You may wish to complete the instrument more than once, each time for a different relationship (peer/peer, husband/wife, subordinate/boss, etc.). |
| |
|1 |A |There are times when I let others take responsibility for solving the problem. |
| | |Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, I try to stress those things upon which we both agree. |
| |B | |
|2 |A |I try to find a compromise solution. |
| | |I attempt to deal with all of the other person’s and my concerns. |
| |B | |
|3 |A |I am usually firm in pursuing my goals. |
| | |I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship. |
| |B | |
|4 |A |I try to find a compromise solution. |
| | |I sometimes sacrifice my own wishes for the wishes of the other person. |
| |B | |
|5 |A |I consistently seek the other’s help in working out a solution. |
| | |I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions. |
| |B | |
|6 |A |I try to avoid creating unpleasantness for myself. |
| | |I try to win my position. |
| |B | |
|7 |A |I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think. |
| | |I give up some points in exchange for others. |
| |B | |
|8 |A |I am usually firm in pursuing my goals. |
| | |I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open. |
| |B | |
|9 |A |I feel that differences are not always worth worrying about. |
| | |I make some effort to get my way. |
| |B | |
|10 |A |I am firm in pursuing my goals. |
| | |I try to find a compromise solution. |
| |B | |
|11 |A |I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open. |
| | |I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship. |
| |B | |
|12 |A |I sometimes avoid taking positions which would create controversy. |
| | |I will let the other person have some of his/her positions if he/she lets me have some of mine. |
| |B | |
|13 |A |I propose a middle ground. |
| | |I press to get my points made. |
| |B | |
|14 |A |I tell the other person my ideas and ask for her/his ideas. |
| | |I try to show the other person the logic and benefits of my position. |
| |B | |
|15 |A |I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship. |
| | |I try to do what is necessary to avoid tensions. |

|THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT MODE INSTRUMENT |
| |
|Directions: |
| |
|Read each of the following statements about conflict. |
|Indicate which of the two statements (“A” or “B”) best represents your behavior during conflict. |
| |
|16 |A |I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings. |
| | |I try to convince the other person of the merits of my position. |
| |B | |
|17 |A |I am usually firm in pursuing my goals. |
| | |I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions. |
| |B | |
|18 |A |If it makes the other person happy, I might let her/him maintain her/his views. |
| | |I will let the other person have some of her/his positions if she/he lets me have some of mine. |
| |B | |
|19 |A |I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open. |
| | |I try to postpone the issue until I have some time to think it over. |
| |B | |
|20 |A |I attempt to immediately work through out differences. |
| | |I try to find a fair combination of gains and losses for both of us. |
| |B | |
|21 |A |In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes. |
| | |I always lean toward a direct discussion of the problem. |
| |B | |
|22 |A |I try to find a position that is intermediate between the other person’s and mine |
| | |I assert my wishes. |
| |B | |
|23 |A |I am very often concerned with satisfying all our wishes. |
| | |There are times when I let others take responsibility for solving the problem. |
| |B | |
|24 |A |If the other’s position seems very important to him/her, I will try to meet his/her wishes. |
| | |I try to get the other person to settle for a compromise. |
| |B | |
|25 |A |I try to show him/her the logic and benefits of my position. |
| | |In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes. |
| |B | |
|26 |A |I propose a middle ground. |
| | |I am nearly always concerned with satisfying all our wishes. |
| |B | |
|27 |A |I sometimes avid taking positions that would create controversy. |
| | |If it makes the other person happy, I might let him/her maintain his/her views. |
| |B | |
|28 |A |I am usually firm in pursuing my goals. |
| | |I usually seek the other’s help in working out a solution. |
| |B | |
|29 |A |I propose a middle ground. |
| | |I feel that differences are not always worth worrying about. |
| |B | |
|30 |A |I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings. |
| | |I always share the problem with the other person so that we can work it out. |
| |B | |

|THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT MODE INSTRUMENT: SCORING |
| |
|Directions: Circle the letter below that you circled on each item of the questionnaire. |
| |Column 1 |Column 2 | Column 3 |Column 4 |Column 5 |
|2 | |B |A | | |
|3 |A | | | |B |
|4 | | |A | |B |
|5 | |A | |B | |
|6 |B | | |A | |
|7 | | |B |A | |
|8 |A |B | | | |
|9 |B | | |A | |
|10 |A | |B | | |
|11 | |A | | |B |
|12 | | |B |A | |
|13 |B | |A | | |
|14 |B |A | | | |
|15 | | | |B |A |
|16 |B | | | |A |
|17 |A | | |B | |
|18 | | |B | |A |
|19 | |A | |B | |
|20 | |A |B | | |
|21 | |B | | |A |
|22 |B | |A | | |
|23 | |A | |B | |
|24 | | |B | |A |
|25 |A | | | |B |
|26 | |B |A | | |
|27 | | | |A |B |
|28 |A |B | | | |
|29 | | |A |B | |
|30 | |B | | |A |
| |
|Total number of items circled in each column. |
| |Column 1 |Column 2 | Column 3 |Column 4 |Column 5 |

|The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument |
|measures this “mix” of conflict handling styles used by an individual. |

What is your unique “mix” of styles?

Each of us is capable of using all five conflict-handling styles. None of us can be characterized as having a single style of dealing with conflict. People use some modes better than others and, therefore, may tend to rely on those modes more heavily than others, when different styles may be better to use under certain conditions.

Choosing to use the different styles and practicing them will increase your effectiveness when you find yourself in a conflict situation.

|[pic] | | | | | |
|Enter | | | | | |
|Totals | | | | | |
|Here | | | | | |
| |Column 1 |Column 2 | Column 3 |Column 4 |Column 5 |

|What are the conflict styles? |
| |
|Accommodating |
|The willingness of one person to place the opponent’s interests above his or her own |
| |
|Competing |
|A desire to satisfy one’s interests, placing skills and self-sacrifice above relationship |
| |
|Avoiding |
|The desire to withdraw from or suppress a conflict |
| |
|Compromising |
|A situation in which each person is willing to give up something and attempt to agree upon the exchange rate for them |
| |
|Collaborating |
|A situation where the people involved each desire to satisfy fully the concerns of all parties |

|What are the conflict styles? |
| |
|Accommodating – Lose/Win |
|Low assertiveness and high cooperativeness. The goal is to "yield." |

If your dominant style is accommodating, you dislike the impact that differences between people may have on their relationships and believe that self-sacrifice and placing the importance of continued relationship above one’s own goals is necessary for solving conflict. From this point of view, it is better to ignore differences than to risk open combat by being over-sensitive. If your accommodating score is HIGH compared with other styles, it reflects an interest in affiliation and acceptance.
|Competing – Win/Lose |
|High assertiveness and low cooperativeness. The goal is to "win." |

If your dominant style is competing, you see differences among people as reflecting their skills: some people have skills, others have none, and some are right and some are wrong. Ultimately, right prevails and this is the central issue in conflict. We owe it to ourselves, and those who rely on our judgment, to prevail in conflicts with others whose opinions and goals are in doubt. You believe that conflict is a competition for status that will be won by the person demonstrating more competence. This style places prime importance on personal goals and less importance on the relationship.
|Avoiding – Lose/Lose |
|Low assertiveness and low cooperativeness. The goal is to "delay." |

If your dominant style is avoidance, it is likely that you had bad experiences with conflict and that conflict is the result of people’s preferences and aspirations and as such, beyond anybody’s influence. Conflict is seen as a necessary evil, a no win situation that we must either accept or withdrawal from psychologically and/or physically.
|Compromising - Find Middle Ground |
|Moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperativeness. The goal is to "find a middle ground." |

If your dominant style is compromising, you believe that differences between people should be treated in light of the common good and that party’s need to “win a little, lose a little”. This style tries to soften and make more tolerable the effects of losing by limiting the gains. Both ends are played against the middle in an attempt to serve the “common good”. You believe that, although everyone should have an opportunity to air personal views and feelings, these should not be allowed to block progress. It is never realistic for everyone to be satisfied.
|Collaborating – Win/Win |
|High assertiveness and high cooperativeness. The goal is to "find a win-win solution." |

If your dominant style is collaborating, you believe that conflict itself is neither good nor bad, but usually a symptom of tensions in relationships and should be treated accordingly. When properly interpreted, differences may be resolved and serve to strengthen relationships rather than divide. Conflict cannot be ignored and requires problem-solving often of the type that goes beyond the superficial issues. Trust is the result of solving conflicts successfully and to the satisfaction of people. In this respect, past successes in finding creative solutions to conflict serve to promote future successes, creating a win-win cycle.

|What is your dominant style? |

All five styles and their variations are equally available responses to conflict.

• The fact that a person prefers a given style does not mean he or she will not use other styles. We use each style at one point or another. • Our “dominant” style reflects our particular beliefs about conflict, our preferences and “comfort zone”. • Secondary choices constitute backups preferences when we find it necessary to abandon our preference, creating a “response hierarchy”.

We have the ability to change our dominant style and our response hierarchy.

• If a person genuinely desires to have a more constructive approach to conflict management, change is entirely possible and it is a personal option. • To change our style, we must become aware of the available options and then undertake a conscious program of building skills where we need them. • With some discipline and commitment, it is possible to change or improve our skills and to provide a response that is appropriate to each individual conflict, either as a party to, or as a third-party (mediator or facilitator).

|Conflict Handling Styles |

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