Writing and healing
Stacy Marvin
My life

When I think back on the life I have had, no one can take my memories away. The time I had in Florida with my soul mate, my best friend was irreplaceable to me. I cannot even explain how much I have learned from my life, the good and the bad. I want to share something with you from my past but also more recent. Here is one of my childhood memories along with one of the most heartbreaking ones that only happened on June 11, 2013. The sound of the engine revving up as I hit ninety around the twists and turns of the curvy road was the best adrenaline rush I ever had in my life. I was eleven years old and driving my dad’s brand new SS Monte Carlo. Heading to pick up my best friend Debbie. The roads were wet with the rain from earlier on that day. I turned down this dead end road and we started jamming to the music we cranked up a few minutes earlier. We did not see the curve in the road and I lost control of the car and ended up off an embankment that went down to the old railroad tracks. This cliff as I call it, used to have trains running through it, but then was just a rock quarry. Debbie and I both screamed as we skidded and lost control of the car and everything went silent. We were hanging off the edge, afraid to move. We just knew this was it for us, we told each other the final words we thought we would ever hear,( I love you my friend, you mean the world to me, I am glad you are here with me and she said the same plus I love you too). The car finally stopped rocking and we both said at the same time, Thank God! We slowly moved towards the open window as to not rock the car anymore. When we leaned out of the windows it was like oh my God we made it. We ran next door where we saw a light shining. The guy who answered the door was pretty scary looking, he was tall with long uncombed hair and wearing bib overalls. He looked very mean, but he was not he smiled at us and asked if we were okay? He luckily had a 4x4 truck sitting in his driveway, and he pulled us out with no problems, except that the car wouldn’t run. A few minutes later we heard the cops coming and my heart sank to my stomach and I was scared, because I knew my father was going to be mad as hell. Well the cops took us to the bar where my father was at and told him what had happened, and drove us each home. The next day my father would not even look at me, and he wouldn’t talk to me for a week. It was the longest week ever. My dad’s name was Edmund Charles Marvin. He was a truck driver and I used to go on his trips with him. We went all over the southern coast of the U.S. It was very cool riding in the big truck, towering over all the little people in their cars. My memories of my father was that he liked to drink a lot. We used to stop at the local bar after our trips and I can still hear him say (,” I am only going to stop for one drink”.) I caught on real fast after the first two times that this wasn’t at all how it went. I used to hang- out until it got real late and I would have to call my mom to come pick me up from the bar because he was too damn drunk to take me home. It made me feel like I was all grown up and no one could tell me shit. But then I would think of my mom so it also hurt me to see my mom have to come out, when she had to work early in the morning. When I was nine years old, I had my first drink it was a Bloody Mary and it was not what I thought it would be. I recall the night when I was eleven and I had my dad’s new SS Monte Carlo and I asked him for his car keys and he gave them to me. Oh the feeling of freedom and being unstoppable as I got in. I remember I kept looking back to see if he was coming out to stop me, but he never did. I went to my friend Debbie’s house, we were best friends then and couldn’t imagine not including her in this. I pulled in thinking oh this is fun. She got in the car and we took off, I hit all the back roads and was driving for almost an hour before the accident happened. I remember feeling the night after I took his car like I let him down, I never wanted to do that. I was always trying to make my parents proud of me by being the best at everything and never getting into trouble at school. But now I know I was just a kid myself and he should not have given me those keys. I should not have grown up in a bar, with a bunch of old drunks. It was May 15th 2013 when I got the call from my dad’s new wife of eleven years, see my parents were together for twenty three years and even though they loved each other until the end they just couldn’t live with each other. So the phone rang and it was my dad’s wife Cheryl she said its cancer and there was nothing they could do for my dad. I cried and cried, I never thought I would stop. We got on the phone and called my step brother and Aunt Anne told them to come now, my brother was coming from New Jersey and my aunt was coming from the convent in Brazil. They came and he had round the clock care from all of us, I remember rubbing his feet with lotion and how much he liked that. It breaks my heart to see the strongest and most generous man I ever knew, be lying in a hospital bed in his house and couldn’t do anything for himself. I realize now the circle of life is what I was seeing. I came home to shower on June 12th to shower and sleep for a while, the phone rang at 6:32 A.M on the 13th and the voice said he was gone. I fell to floor and cried. Just like I am now, even though I cried writing this, it was very healing to me. My dad and I had a rocky road through life but we made our amends and we talked every Sunday without fail. I still pick up the phone today and forget that he will not answer. R.I.P DAD.
I don’t know if this is what you meant by tying them together but I tried.