...kinds of problems may be solved by going to a marriage council. There are much stronger reasons to why a spouse should divorce. One should divorce if there are emotional or physical abuse, marital infidelity, drug or alcohol addiction and, contradictory differences. As humans, we are not perfect. We make mistakes, and usually learn from them but there are other cases where humans cannot control their behavior. Some bad actions and behaviors are really difficult to change. It takes a lot of time, and strength to overcome. There are problems that one cannot solve. First problem that some couples face is emotional and physical abuse. Couples who are physically or emotionally abused should divorce right away. According to Cathy Meyer, a journal writer from about.com, if he or she hits, slaps, shove or punches their mate, their behavior will continue. The spouse will repeat his or her action. The person who is being abused should know that it is not their fault that no one deserves to be hit, slapped, shove, or punched no matter what the issue is. As a personal experience, I have been a victim of an emotional and physical abuse. I had dated my ex-boyfriend for over a year. First year was perfect. Everything went well. After the second year passed by, things started to change. He started getting mad at me for simple things such as forgetting to message him in the mornings, not replying his messages on time, or was not texting him enough. He would start calling me and would threaten...
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...Saying “I do” to your mate the right way Everyone eventually meets the man or woman of their dreams. Whether it’s online or in your local grocery store, everyone is bound to meet their perfect match. According to Harville Hendrix, the author of the article The Mystery of Attraction, he mentions that there are three theories that he has noticed or have looked more into and he also has his own theory. The three theories that he mentions are as follows: biological theory, exchange theory, and the persona theory. When it comes to his own theory, Hendrix states that of the conscious theory. Although Hendrix provides in depth detail of the three theories, I do not agree in those theories and therefore believe in Hendrix’ own theory. The first theory that Hendrix describes is that of the biological theory, which means that women select men who are that of “alpha” qualities. They choose men who will provide for their future family or supply themselves with nourishment. Society makes men feel that they have all the weight on their shoulders and men are made to fulfill the manly duties. When I look for certain men, I choose men that have an attractive personality. Some people just choose the looks, but I focus more on the way he portrays himself in front of me and other people. My dating experience has been bumpy and slow these past years. I have only had one boyfriend and have learned nothing. As everyone always says that you always find your soul mate in college, I believe...
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...and figuring out do I follow the wants of my parents in a mate, or should I follow my heart. In my personal romantic life we will be discussing the decision model, of dating, and the social heuristic behind dating. Through this paper there will be details of the incentives of the dating scenario, identify the risks and potential decision biases. Then there will be an in-depth analysis of the scenario where the decisions will be looked and how they impacted the social factors. Finding a mate is never a easy process. Being part of an Italian family there were many indicators that the family pushes you towards. Being socially awkward, I leaned to the attention to my family because they knew what was good for my well being. Also why would they stray me the wrong way in my life. I had to make many decisions in order to find my mate the only thing on the line was, my heart. So when I mentioned to my family that I was open to the dating world, I was given a list of traits that I need to find in order to find the “ideal mate”. At the time, with my family being an important part of my life, I was open to the idea of finding a mate that would suit my family needs. Of course if these list of demands in my ideal mate were not met, then I would face family disapproval. Which in an Italian household takes a very long time to shake off. To fully know the incentives was purely find a mate. The idea would be to find someone who fits each detail to my family’s liking. This would be an incentive...
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...Confused, Puzzled Me! It was when I met “him” when I got confused and puzzled. That was love. Now, this for sure isn’t like that. It’s the social evolutionary theory. An hour of discussion could make me a new me and it puzzled and confused me. I had a hard time thinking deeply and everything was “WHY?” Maybe this wasn’t my love for “him”, but this may involve him, my values and my religion. Social evolutionary theory, just like the natural selection theory, is grounded on the survival part of beings in their environment but this theory focuses more on the social group based on relationships and interaction among members. Some of the studies may have been familiar to me but there were a number of issues that amazed and struck me the most. As I have been mentioning, the theory may involve him, the mate-selection process. And the last two, concerned most on my beliefs and religion. Everyone, even once but mostly a number of times, might have aspired for a life partner of body and brain. All I thought, desiring for a hot body for me as a woman was all lust but now thanks for the theory, I got an excuse! It’s just that a v-shaped man with broad shoulders and thick hair reflect his being a man capable of producing a productive offspring. And maybe I can’t stop a man if he demands the physical side of me because like me, he also got an excuse. Wearing make-up is also an issue. Why is it that only girls wear make-up? How about the boys? Well, I now know boys were just born naturally...
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...we are the one flying the plane. If we waste too much time in the air not moving forward our fuel would end and the plane would crash. No one wants their life to go to waste therefore making a choice is necessary. We often say that we have to live our life alone but that is not true, everyone needs a partner with them a friend or a soul mate. I was 26 when I realized that I need someone in my life that I can trust and ask for support. I had this girl in my mind since two years she was decent and lively. I felt life when I was around her while on the other hand was my cousin who had loved me ever since she got familiar with the word love. The entire family was longing for our wedding. Now that I took marriage seriously I had two choices, choices that mattered, that would make or break my entire life. Just as Robert frosts poem suggests I had two roads diverged in a yellow wood. I had to quickly make a decision because all three of us were aging and I had to take a decision soon. Love marriage had its own charm, I would get to spend my life with the one that my heart longed for while on the other hand I knew that my cousin would be a perfect wife...
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...My Compare and contrast paper is about what the secular world presents about the dating and mating process and how the Lord directs us to date and mate. I will be speaking about several different areas of dating from a secular world and what the bible tells us about how to date and finding our mate from GOD aspect. I also will give my personal opinion on how I believe most people pick their mate. The world always paints a pretty picture of how marriage should be. The women finds her prince charging, he rescue’s her from danger, they ride away on a horse into the sun light they get married and live happily ever after. It might be the little rhyme kids use to sing, “Adam and Ashley sitting in a tree k i s s i n g. first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. As the saying goes, finding a mate does not always go in that way, shape or form. Society says,” men feel most attracted to women whose waist are smaller than their hips which signifies her fertility” (perilloux et al., 2010) meaning she has a “coke bottle shape”. Woman should have perfect body, muscles, tall, deep trembling voice. They should dress nice, have a good job, live and drive the best. If you come across someone who doesn’t fit this appearance you have settled for less. Secular world presents that we should engage into intercourse with a mate to express our love into an even deeper matter. A survey was taken from 289,452 students entering college in the United states about...
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...debating if I should take you home Should I take you home? I don't mean to keep you waiting But I just gotta know If you're ready She says she wanna take her skirt off Be my guest! I decided to take my shirt off And show my chest! And we been sipping on that Merlot So you know what's next Perfect intermissions, switching positions We so explicit oh! You can say it all night long That you couldn't wait to get me home alone What you gon' do to me Don't talk about it, be about it Let me see, let me see, let me see Girl I can't wait to get you home Talk a good game mate, come on Holler 'bout what you gon' do to me Don't talk about it, be about it Let me see, let me see, let me see I'll be anticipating What you would do to me What you gon' do to me Sex babe, it's the ocassion Hands on when you're with me Give your heart to me, yeah She says she wanna take her skirt off Be my guest! I decided to take my shirt off And show my chest! And we been sipping on that... So you know what's next Working intermissions, switching positions We so expensive oh! You can say it all night long That you couldn't wait to get me home alone What you gon' do to me Don't talk about it, be about it Let me see, let me see, let me see Girl I can't wait to get you home Talk a good game mate, come on Holler 'bout what you gon' do to me Don't talk about it, be about it Let me see, let me see, let me see [Rick Ross - Rap Verse] You can say it all night long ...
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...can the peanut butter to my jelly You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly You can be the captain I can be your first mate You can be the chills that I feel on our first date You can be the hero I can be your side kick You can be the tear That I cry if we ever split You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin' B sec Don't know if I could ever be W/out u cause boy u complete me And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need Chorus Cause you're the apple to my pie You're the straw to my berry You're the smoke to my high And you're the one I wanna marry Cause you're the one for me (for me) And I'm the one for you (for u) U take the both of (of us) And we're the perfect two We're the perfect two We're the perfect two Baby me and you We're the perfect two Verse2 You can be the prince and I can be your princess You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist You can be the shoes and I can be the laces You can be the heart that I spill on the pages You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser You can be the pencil and I can be the paper You can be as cold as the winter weather But I don't care as long as were together Don't know if I could ever be W/out u cause boy u complete me And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need Cause your the apple to my pie You're the straw to my berry You're the smoke to my high And you're the one...
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...peanut butter to my jelly You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly You can be the captain And I can be your first mate You can be the chills that I feel on our first date You can be the hero And I can be your sidekick You can be the tear That I cry if we ever split You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin' Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin' Chorus Don't know if I could ever be Without you 'Cause boy you complete me And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need Cause you're the apple to my pie You're the straw to my berry You're the smoke to my high And you're the one I wanna marry Cause you're the one for me (for me) And I'm the one for you (for you) You take the both of us (of us) And we're the perfect two We're the perfect two We're the perfect two Baby me and you We're the perfect two Verse 2 You can be the prince and I can be your princess You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist You can be the shoes and I can be the laces You can be the heart that I spill on the pages You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser You can be the pencil and I can be the paper You can be as cold as the winter weather But I don't care as long as were together Chorus Don't know if I could ever be Without you 'cause boy you complete me And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need Cause you're the apple to my pie You're the straw to my berry You're the smoke to my high And you're...
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...in order to solve the mystery of one another. However, it is not quite as complicated as each sex thinks. The behavior of men and women in relationships can all be boiled down to what each sex has at stake when it comes to sexual activity. While both men and women have something at stake Edward O. Wilson says in “The Fitness of Human Nature” that women have more at stake when it comes to sexual activity (147). Since women do have more at stake than men, women tend to be more particular when searching for a mate than men, women have a different view of sex than men, and women are more timid when it comes to initiating sexual intercourse than men. Each male and female has an idea of what they want in their perfect significant other. A woman might be looking for a man that is tall, strong, and handsome. A man might be looking for woman that is blonde, young and beautiful. The reason for having that idea of the “perfect guy or girl” can be explained by natural selection. In my psychology class I learned that having these certain mating preferences is caused by the fact that this will lead to the likelihood of sending one’s genes into the future. In many cases women are more meticulous when looking for a man because she wants to find the one that will stick by her throughout the whole rearing of their offspring. That is why women are more likely to be attracted to the most dominant, mature, affluent male. She knows that is the male that will take care of her and provide for her and...
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...In the article “Marry Him!” posted by The Atlantic, Lori Gottlieb, the author, tries to convince readers to “settle” at a young age when it comes to potential mates, instead of looking for the perfect soul mate. She has a unique perspective on marriage because of her experiences and age. I do not agree with Gottlieb about needing to settle at a young age, but I do appreciate the view she has. One cannot make lists and lists of traits their mate must have, but focus on finding the individual who completes him/her. As Gottlieb advises not to settle, better advice would be to not get wrapped up in lengthy requirements. However, if I was in my forties and had never been married, I might share her feelings on this issue. There is a compatible person out there for everyone, but the difficulty is finding him or her. Lori Gottlieb polls her friends on being married, and finds their comments very disappointing. I hope the statement, “Oh, you’re so lucky, you don’t have to negotiate with your husband about the cost of piano lessons,” was said as a joke. In the event that it was serious, it is very sad that that wife viewed her marriage in that manner. Marriage should not be about arguing over the petty things, but enjoying and edifying each other in love. Marriage takes work. It is sometimes difficult to not have arguments and fight, but if someone settles with someone they do not 100 percent love, it could be even more difficult to find common ground. I also found the part...
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...being able to forgive a person actually allow the person forgiving to begin the healing process, but this does not mean that the person forget what damage it has caused them. In psychology, “forgiveness is a process that involves the change in emotions and attitudes regarding the offender.” This definition of forgiveness points out that forgiveness is a personal choice and is not dependent on the person who is receiving this forgiveness. You can forgive and move on with your life to be happy but not forget. In the short story “Forgiveness” by Rebecca Brown, the protagonist does not forgive her mate for taking advantage of her to an extent where she is completely broken. I personally believe in all circumstances, in order for one to be truly happy in life, it is critical to forgive but never forget. In the short story “Forgiveness” the lead character says “when I said I’d give my right arm for you, I didn’t think you would ask me for it, but you did. You said, give it to me. And I said okay” (brown 1). With the use of metaphors and symbolization, Brown illustrates to the reader of a visual picture of how the protagonist gives all her effort and her life into their relationship and after all the sacrifices, she does not get anything in return. For example, the use of the word “arm” demonstrates how the protagonist gave a huge part of herself up for her significant other; in other words, it can also be visualized as the pure love she gave to her partner. “But then, when...
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...“I’ve got this!” I said. My team mates were all surrounded around the pitcher’s mound trying to boost my confidence. I looked at each of them, panting and with sweat pouring down their faces. I presented a calm appearance on the outside but on the inside I was a nervous wreck. I knew I couldn’t let them down, we had worked so hard this season for this title. It was the last inning of the final season game, the score was tied, there were 2 outs, the batter had a full count and bases were loaded. This pitch determined our destiny. Would we go on to the championship round? Would we win the entire season undefeated? It all raced through my mind as it seemed like I had been standing there for an eternity on the mound waiting. As I stood there, the whole season flashed before my eyes. It was the beginning of June and I was headed to my first practice, I had a lot of pressure on me as my grandfather’s company, Evans Remodeling, was sponsoring this team for Cherry Park and was friends with Coach Watts. I had played with Coach Watt’s son on other teams in the past and they knew how hard I worked, so they expected me to be a leader. I knew from the start he was going to push us really hard and expect a lot from us. When I showed up to the first practice I was a little relieved seeing others that I had played with in the past and knew they were all really good players. However, we had no idea what was in store for us that day. It was 90 degrees outside and you would have thought...
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...you in improving your interpersonal communication in hopes of a lasting relationship. I find the advice giving to be basically sound and within the realms of plausibility as well as possibility and gives truth to its purpose. With answers to your questions we can improve one’s quality of communicational skills. If you improve in one area then you will notice improvement in other areas. When improving your interpersonal relationship do it together. This way both will understand the concepts or advice given at the same time. This will create growth and a stronger bond in the relationship. This will help in long or short term life planning. Exercise your new or improve skills daily and together and in real life events. Practice makes perfect but let us aim for excellence in our relationships. When one improves any aspect or skill of communication it improves all communication skills. There is a symbiotic relationship that exists with the intrapersonal and all other areas of communication. The intent in the article is to improve interpersonal communications and one can...
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...FROM LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT TO SOUL MATE: ROMANTIC IDEALS IN POPULAR FILMS AND THEIR ASSOCIATION WITH YOUNG PEOPLE‘S BELIEFS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS BY VERONICA HEFNER DISSERTATION Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Speech Communication in the Graduate College of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, 2011 Urbana, Illinois Doctoral Committee: Professor Barbara J. Wilson, Chair Associate Professor John P. Caughlin Associate Professor Kristen Harrison Associate Professor Travis L. Dixon ABSTRACT Romantic comedy films have been popular since motion pictures first entered the media world. Scholars have speculated why these movies remain appealing to viewers and have argued for several reasons. These movies might foster hope about real-life romance (Galician, 2004), or demonstrate that that there are no limits to how love may manifest itself (Harvey, 1998). Despite this speculation, few studies have systematically investigated the content of these movies or the effects they may have on viewers. The purpose of this dissertation was to investigate that potential. In particular, I conducted two studies that explored the nature of romantic ideals in romantic comedy films and their influence on viewer endorsement of romantic beliefs. The first study was a content analysis of the themes or romantic ideals embedded in romantic comedies. The second study was a survey designed to explore whether exposure to such...
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