My Wake Up Call In the early summer of 2006, I was committed to the man I fell in love with. I was falling in love more and more everyday with him. My endless smiling seemed to brighten my days. The biggest day of my life was approaching. I was getting married to the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with. My children and I felt security in every way imaginable, and we never had to go without anything. My fiancé owned Late Night Creations Tattoo Shop in Mishawaka. I worked for him, I was a tattoo artist as well as a body piercer. I was making $80,000.00 a year. I never imagined how my life as I knew it was going to quickly change. The fact that I had yet to even finish high school to embrace my independance along with my security for my future, was so far tucked away in my mind. Such as, I relied exclusively on his acceptance and love I simply forgot my commitment to myself to create my own path though this mazed puzzle of life. On July 1, 2006, there I was preparing myself to walk down the aisle. My dress was perfect. My hair was gorgeous. My makeup was flawless. Two hundred and fifty guests all present on that day to watch my fairy tale become reality. Everyone was there to fill their role, with the exception of one main character, my fiancé. I never made it down the aisle that day nevertheless I had no reason to. The man I was completely in love with was not at the other end waiting for me. It quickly sank in that I had been left at the altar. I do not precisely remember my first actions, although I would assume shock. I gathered myself together after I fainted, wiped my tears from my eyes, held my head up high and finally went out to the crowd to make the announcement. Futhermore, there I was with the words slipping off my tongue: The wedding is off. That was the first time I had ever saw my father cry. I was hurt and humiliated by the one person I thought would never do that to me. I packed up items that belonged to my children, and I and went and stayed with my parents. I did this in hope that it would be a wakeup call to the man I deeply loved. Instead it was a wakeup call to me. I was lost. My whole world was tore out from underneath my feet. Consequently my bank account was decreasing, and I needed to get back on my feet, since I made a mistake of taking my stability for granted. I never finished high school, therefore the only job I could land was working for a septic cleaning company and that by far was literally a crappy job. For example, I was dragging septic hoses for twenty dollars a pump and was lucky to do three or four a day. This however changed my life in so many ways. It made me realize I should never allow myself to base my stability on a lifestyle, love of a job, or a person. This complex life that I am now enjoying is a huge puzzle. It is this perplexed puzzle that I am figuring out piece by piece. As a result, I am realizing that everything can be taken away in the blink of an eye. So let us fast forward to the fall of 2012, while it is still sinking in as a smile, and I know that no one can take away: my education, self-esteem or self-motivation. Those are the only things that will give my children and me a real future, and the wings I need to be able to fly. In case anyone is wondering about what happened to my ex, well he ended up losing everything I lost, but even more: an amazing woman that loved him unconditionally and who was there waiting to make a commitment! In addition, he was not even worthy of it. Essentially it took that heartbreak to make me realize that my life did not need to start at the other end of the aisle. My life was always supposed to start when I walked down the hallways into my first college class. He could not commit to me that day; on the other hand, that is fine with me. Most importantly, my commitment today is to myself, my sons, and my education. It took that heartache to make me realize that I am my future. Ultimately I am responsible for my own smile and my own success. Thus, I relied solely on his acceptance and his love but, somewhere along the way, I forgot I held a commitment to myself to prepare my own way through this mazed puzzle of life. Therefore, the primary sole an individual can trust entirely to build a future for ones self is thy self, an expectation of anothers promise to commit themselves to us, is not warranted security, however an education, self-esteem along with self-motivation to gain independence is indeed.