Courtship and Marriage

Things You Must Consider Before You Marry

By Pastor Ken Raggio

Starting Out Alone

We all begin as a solo act. We stand alone in the social scheme of things. We have birth relationships - father, mother, sisters, brothers. But in the course of maturing, we generally desire the companionship of additional people. We develop casual relationships through contacts we have in the various segments of society - our neighborhood, our school, our workplace, our church - to name a few. We often carry our casual relationships further as we experience positive and desirable interactions with others. Acquaintances become friendships. We endear ourselves to others with whom we find meaningful compatibilities.

"Qualifying" Friendships

Every person faces a vastly different challenge when it comes to forming meaningful relationships with others. Some people are extroverted, which means they are socially interactive. They are able to express themselves to others, or make conversation easily, which, over a period of time, creates a large pool of acquaintances from which friendships can be formed. As a rule, an extrovert is likely to have a larger number of prospects from which to choose a friend.

On the other hand, an introvert generally lives a more isolated lifestyle, communicating with fewer people. It would stand to reason that the introvert might have fewer choices when it comes to selecting a friend.

These personality differences do not necessarily indicate that the introvert is less interested in having friends, but only that friendships are not as easily cultivated. Many people do not have a thorough "Screening Process," but merely accept whatever friendships "happen" to them. Often, the quest for a true friend can be quite discouraging, and ultimately a person will either withdraw into isolation, or compromise their