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Nonviolent Communication

In: English and Literature

Submitted By nerualta3
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| Nonviolent Communication | Politics of peaceful world change |

Andrea Kirltey
12/3/2013
|

Nonviolent Communication is an operation manual for a form of communication that involves a way of hearing and speaking in compassion and empathy. The author Marshall Rosenberg explores a method to communication that allows for and requires a deep evaluation of self when it comes to communication as well as listening with the intentions of relating to the speakers feelings. The objective of nonviolent communication is to develop a relationship in trust and honesty as it pertains to language and communication. The text offers a completely different approach to our personal feelings and how they relate to how we receive people’s words, as well as are words and request are received by other people. It challenges people to examine language in a way that is emotional, critical and transformative of our contemporary ways and norms of communication. ` Nonviolent communication (NVC) has four components to communicating nonviolently, 1.) Observe what’s actually happening in the situation 2.) State how we feel when we observe this action 3.) Say what needs of ours are connected to these feelings 4.) Make .request based on that. The major themes of the text are centered on these components. Nonviolent communication is rooted in the notion of giving from the heart, and the four components listed above are the steps that Rosenberg states are the beginnings to giving form the heart in communication. Also Rosenberg state that NVC is based in honest expressions through the four components. When practicing NVC one must also receive empathetically, meaning instead of listening with the intentions of defending yourself against every point the speaker, you should listen to the what the speaker is saying with the intentions of feeling what they feel and trying to understand it whether you agree with the speaker or not. Another major theme of the text is, that when communicating on should avoid speech that passes judgment against one another because it leads to making the other person involved in the communication defensive, and defense is not a part of NVC. From my perspective the major theme of nonviolent communication is a commonality amongst humans to have needs that we would like to be met\, feeling that we would like to be considered and respected, and the need to express ourselves and be heard, and based on those commonalities NVC outlines positives ways to communicate and convey these feelings, wants, and needs; as well as exposes the weakness in our ways of communication and language, and listening to actively combat them with positive tools of communication, and to keep in the forefront of our minds that we are all similar in our need and the fact that we have them and we need to maintain compassion for our fellow humans under that pillar. As beneficial as Nonviolent Communication can be to our everyday incounters, and as much as I would like to argue that it is perfect in theory which it is, it has its disadvantages as well in practice. Nonviolent Communication is hard to do because it is human nature to protect yourself when being attacked verbally or physically. Also because of the negative habits of communication we have built its very difficult to train people to think and respond differently than we are accustomed to. I think that NVC is at a disadvantage also because it’s very emotional in its approach, which I whom is very empathetic in my approach to life can relate to, it may not be as easy for a less empathetic or compassionate person. Compassion is at the core of NVC and I do believe it can be a learned emotion I think that some of us our born compassionate and others not so much which limits this in application. To successfully utilize nonviolent communication, parties involved have to control their emotions and bias to communicate properly. It also requires both parties be willing to communicate and act reasonably. When used properly, the advantage to Nonviolent Communication is it can contribute greatly to peaceful relations. As mentioned above, Nonviolent Communication is a great tool to use to strive towards peaceful relations. It allows parties to feel unthreatened and get to the core of a disagreement rather than increasing tension, ultimately creating more problems. In most cases in history we have seen that violence creates violence, therefore one could argue that nonviolent communication could promote and create peace. Another advantage to NVC is that because it challenges the listener to listen empathetically, it makes you analyze and possibly realize what you have done to make the other party feel injured because you let your defense down and listen with the purpose of understanding. Lastly NVC contributes to more peaceful communications between people because it is based in all positive things; compassion, giving from the heart, honesty, making requests not demands, and receiving thing as that are not for what we feel based on our insecurities. For example if you are practicing NVC and you and your spouse get into an disagreement, instead of you arguing every point against what your partner says, you acknowledge their feelings even if you don’t agree with them they still deserve to be acknowledged, and you let them know that yu hear how they feel, which in turn allows wach of you to be heard and feel understood , instead of arguing against one another’s emotions. I personally tried this principal with my boyfriend and explained to him concepts from the text, and instead of having a screaming match and feeling attacked by one another’s words we were able to actually hear the needs that we were not meeting for each other as well as hear one another’s grievances and receive them respectfully. Mutual respect in a conversation most definitely promotes peace. NVC also promotes peace on a higher level like nations and states in situations such as Israel and Palestine. If each of these parties could listen empathetically and all nations did in negotiations with other nations there would be much more common grand found and decreased levels of conflict, because just like the opening excerpt in the text in which the girl in the concentration found a level of compassion for the disgruntled concentration camp soldier, nations would understand the concerns and need of others, they would consider the civilians and populations, not only within their borders but within the borders of the state in which they are actively in conflict with. I believe that NVC is one of the most positive forward thinking practices there are just actual violence promotes violence, violent communication promotes negative responses and receptions of words. So if people can change how they talk an listen and posture themselves while talking and listening their actions would surely follow suit.

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