Free Essay

Outsider

In: English and Literature

Submitted By jpcalangi
Words 960
Pages 4
America, San Diego, Beaches, Americans. People might think it is like paradise where I went. Where everyone admires San Diego so much of the great weather and relaxing beaches. But reality is that it was my first time to be 7375 miles away from home, Macau. It was tough knowing you would not be able to go back until summer. It was a very deep experience when I first came to college, assuming that I would have to put so much effort in to be a part in this country, a place where I felt strange, new and as if I am an alien. I have never been so uncomfortable feeling lonely and homesick.
Everything started from the airport. I had no idea time flies so quick. After high school graduation ceremony to the time I found out I had to leave. My girlfriend, my friends, my family all attended the event. I should have been happy that moment, because I have such a good relationship with different people. I was smiling the whole time, but actually crying inside. I acted as if I was tough enough to face all difficulties which were coming, but the truth was I was not ready at all. Although it was heartbreaking, knowing I would be leaving in less than an hour , taking a flight across 7000 miles and had no idea when would I actually be able to see my friends, family again. I was not the only one who was unhappy. My mother was crying as if her eyes were swimming in the ocean. I came to face reality that I was boarding to the plane. The cool air in the aircraft at once made me feel lonely and sad. I could not even sleep for a minute on the plane, images flowing all over my head. Will people treat me the same? Will I make good friends? How are the teachers going to treat me? During the flight, I had Different questions running around my head.
The first month in the states was the loneliest month I had ever experienced in my entire life. I have a relative who lives in San Diego, and I was arranged to live with her. I thought it would be good at least I have a relative or maybe my only friend at the beginning. But my aunt is a very busy women, she works all day non-stop, I barely have time to chat with her. The first two weeks. I have been receiving notes written on the food she prepared in the fridge, “Jairo , please enjoy your meal, I am not able to come home for dinner tonight, love you.” I totally understand her condition; every parents like my aunt; my mom wants to work harder to earn enough to let herself or her children’s life better. But since I was new to this environment, it was just tough. I finished my dinner, and went to bed. And where Nightmares happened. Jetlag is one of the most difficult thing I had to hand. I went to bed early and woke up 4 o’clock in the morning and could not go back to bed every single day and night. I couldn't chat with anyone back in Macau because they are all working or at school. Looking at my pale yellow walls, I was the only creature in the room. I just could not hold dropping tears from my eyes, I had never felt so lonely in my entire life. This situation continued for almost a month after I was able to adjust to the time in the US.
Everything seems smooth from orientation for international students to the first day of school. But actually the day before a thunder storm is always a sunny day. I thought things would get better for the first day of school. But I just found out my college had a very funny policy that for students to enroll in classes. The school started with local students first, after all local students are enroll, they will let international students to access and start to enroll, where the funniest thing was, rookies were always the last to enroll. Especially rooky international students would be the last to be able to enroll. I could not enroll into any class because they were all full or waitlisted. I had to write down all available classes schedule and had to go crash all of my classes. Try imagining a new “Asian” guy who doesn’t even know what crashing was, and had to crash for all his classes? It was so hard finding classrooms in a strange place where I don't know anyone that I could ask, not even a friend, I just went to all classroom at the time I was supposed to be there, I had to walk into every single instructor and ask them how do I crash. For two whole weeks, from Monday to Friday I had to go back to crash in every possible class. Those two weeks were a torture to me, waking up 7am every morning , finish my day at 6 or 7 pm. I was able to enroll for 18 units with a very horrible schedule, but what could I say?
I just felt sad because it is really hard to interact or blend into a country I am not familiar with. It took me months, that I finally met new friends , learnt how to communicate better , improved my poor English. I sometimes feel confused about the decision of coming to the states. Did I choose the correct path? Totally an outsider of this entire environment. But I believe after all of this, I would become a very tough and success person in the society.

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