Over this past weekend, I overcame a challenge that has been plaguing me for quite some time. I had been in a relationship, one that had been painful and had really run its course long ago. Due to being comfortable and trying not to shift the balance in my children's lives, I stayed in the unhappy union. After many arguments, hurt feelings and disappointments, I made the leap and left the man I had spent the past five years pretending to have a family with. With this newfound independence and vast world in front of me, I have many goals that I wish to accomplish. I am a new woman, a new person and the most important goals I have are to be the best mother, best person and best student I can be. Creating an environment where my children can thrive and where I can learn to be the best parent to them is the first of my three goal series. In the blink of an eye, it was over and suddenly I am a single parent again. I have millions of thoughts racing through my mind. Where will we go? What will I do? I have two daughters who depend on me for everything. I made arrangements to leave our stuff where we once lived, to be picked up at a later date. I packed what little I could into my Jeep and hit the road to lean on my parents until I could have enough money saved to make a new and improved life for myself and my children. My children are most important to me, and making sure they understand every step of this new adventure is critical to ensuring their emotional security. I also have the added challenge of reassuring them daily that it is not their fault and that they did nothing wrong to cause this. I have to find a way to balance my new life and, and along the way become the person I want to be: a new and improved person and this is the second step in my three part goal system. With the support of my parents, I will be able to save some money by living with them until I land fully on my feet. Since I was part owner of a company with my now former significant other, I haven’t worked outside of our home in quite some time. I home school my oldest child and coupling that with pursuing my own education, finding a job that will easily revolve around such a schedule will be difficult. I am looking to find work that I can do from home, but such jobs are very hard to come by. The cost of daycare alone would take up much of what I would make outside of the home, and would also interfere with the education of my oldest child and me. I have to find a balance that will work, one that will allow me to work and continue on the same track with regards to home schooling and furthering my own degree. The right opportunity is out there and now I just have to search for it. Once I can find employment, I will be better equipped to save money, thus also be able to find a home for my children and I to start over again. With any relationship that has gone bad, a certain amount of negative feelings towards one self is bound to surface, and I am no exception. Feeling like my life is spiraling out of control has left me quite broken. Finding a job so I can support my family and in turn being able to make a home for them are the first steps to becoming better-rounded person. I will have a career of my own, but to be in balance, I will also need a social life. Meeting new people, going to new places and trying new things are all high on my “To Do List.” I have joined a church and will attend meetings for single parents. I will take some chances and try dating again, maybe even join an online dating service in time. I will find out what really interest me and start enjoying things that I used to enjoy again as well. I want to start an exercise regimen to get back in to proper shape and health. Accomplishing these steps will fulfill the second aspect of my three-part goal system. I need to be a role model for my girls and give them both a reason to be proud of me. Earning my degree will certainly help with that, but I also need to raise them to be independent and self-resilient. If I had learned while growing up to be self sufficient I would be much better prepared to handle all of the new challenges I am currently facing. With my degree, I will be able to start a career and not just obtain a job that will help me make the ends of every day life meet. I want my children to grow up not wanting for anything, not spoiled by far, but to have all needs met without having to wait for their mother’s next paycheck, and only if all the bills are paid. I want a savings account that I don’t have to borrow from. I covet a career that I can be proud of and that I enjoy. I desire the kind of life that I dreamed I would have when I was my children’s age and I need them to see it is possible from the life that I want to give to them as they grow. Becoming a dedicated student with my education as well as with life skills learned along the way, I will become a life learner and I can join the two types of educations to be the best student possible. I will stay up late, work on assignments during lunch hours, and put lessons under my pillow to learn by osmosis if necessary and all to become the finest student I can be. This has, and will always be a learning adventure for both my children and myself. Meeting my three goals will be the first step towards making a new life. Helping my daughters cope with this loss and life transition will be hard but I am dedicated to seeing them through every step of the way. Working on myself and finding out who I want to be will help me to heal and in the process will allow me to be healthier and happy in the long run. Obtaining my degree and even going beyond a Bachelor will help to secure the future that I want for myself and my children. Learning helps the mind and the heart heal in many ways. I hope that by starting over, and clinging to this adventure with both eyes open, that I will come out a better person. A person who lives life to its fullest and faces new challenges head on is a person who can not lose. I am prepared to win.