Free Essay

Parents Should Be Allowed to Lie to Their Children

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By samanthaalt
Words 960
Pages 4
Name
Professor
PHI 102
20 February 2016

The question that crosses our minds time and time again is whether or not parents should always tell their children the truth. We must first ask ourselves the definition of truth. Truth in this case will be defined as that which is in accordance with fact or reality.In discussing the reality of situations with children, each case differs.
Christians have been celebrating the birth of their lord and savior, Jesus Christ, for centuries and centuries. Jesus’ birth is a ginormous holiday that is celebrated every year on January 25th. The only problem adults ran into was they couldn't find a way to keep children interested. That's when they concocted a fictional character who delivers presents to all the well behaved boys & girls. The character in which I am referencing is most commonly known as Santa Claus. Society uses Santa to influence children to be more involved in the holiday spirit. Growing up my mother repeatedly told me “If you don't go to church, then you're not being a good girl. And if you're not being a good girl, then Santa won't bring you presents!” After about ten years of acting on my best behavior during the Christmas season, I discovered that Santa pretend. My parents put endless time and money into Santa Claus. However, they did achieve the goal of me attending mass on a weekly basis. In cases such as this, I find that lying to children is a must. In the modern day United States of America, children of all religions now celebrate Christmas. The concept of Santa is now just a common tradition amongst the world. If you didn't honor the annual tradition of Santa, your family would be an oddity against society. Therefore you must lie to your children in order for them to enjoy the experience.
On a more serious side of this question, I will move into a more personal matter. At the age of three my parents, Doreen and Keith, suddenly divorced. Being that I was so young there were many barriers that came with telling your child about the divorce. My mom had sole custody of my brother, John, and me, but our father was mandated to have us every other weekend. I grew up loving and adoring my father. One may have even referred to me as a “daddy’s girl”. It wasn't until about the age of twelve that I began to question the divorce to my parents. My mother told me her side and my father told me his side. One life skill I learned early on is that there's three sides to every story. In this case the third side being the truth. My father sugar coated all of his reasonings, while my mother was straight out blunt with the truth. I continued to question both my parents on the argument of the opposite parent. That's when I discovered that my father had cheated on my mom for multiple years before suddenly leaving her. When I asked my mother why she lied to me about the reason for the divorce she confessed to me that she was told to do so. At the time of the treacherous divorce, Doreen’s therapist advised her to keep the truth from John and me in hopes that our opinion on our father wouldn't change nor become biased. Although her intentions were pure, my mother was still fed me a misrepresentation of the divorce for twelve years. In this case my mother had no choice but to lie in order to protect her kids. Being that I'm older and wiser than I was at age twelve, I agree with her decision.
In most cases it seems that parents lie to their children in order to safeguard them or make sure they’re comforted. Growing up my mother would tell John and me tiny fibs. One of her most common being that if we don’t brush our teeth before bed we will not receive desert after dinner the next evening. John, being that he was spoiled more than milk, would still receive his desert even after not brushing his teeth the evening before. The only problem that came about was that his baby teeth were rotting away. The dentist insisted that he have them removed surgically immediately. At this time he was only six years old and had barely felt pain besides a scrape or bruise to the knee. The removal and capping of his teeth were going to put him through intense agonoy. The days leading to the surgery, with the event swarming through my brother’s diminutive brain, he repeatedly queried my mother questions about what was going to occur. The most repetitive question being whether or not he was going to suffer pain. Knowing how worrisome John could be, my mother promised him he wouldn’t even feel a pinch. And well, she lied. John indured massive amounts of mouth and teeth pain for weeks following the operation. At the end of the day, my brother being lied to was the best way for him to feel contentment leading into the surgery.
With such evidence we can deduce that in fact it is acceptable to lie to children. In all three cases the parents hid the truth in order to comfort their children and shelter them from growing up too quickly was all out of love. There are certain responsibilities and issues, deemed inappropriate by society, that must be hidden from or sugar coated to youngsters. It can be viewed as our duty as grown adults to lie to children in order to be morally correct. Grownups have been lying to children since the beginning of time and will continue to lie until the mere end.

Similar Documents

Free Essay

Children's Upbringing

...Chua-Rubenfeld who describes her up-bringing as a child. She had a very strict mother who used methods as not letting the children attend sleep-overs, have play dates, be in school plays, complain about not being in a school play. The daughter goes on telling the interviewer that she does not think that her mother rose her badly, as most of society does. She thinks that the mother did a really good job and that she in no way have lost any possibilities of friendship and fun. The method the mother uses is to have a strict scheme of what the children can and cannot do which, in the end, turned out great for her kids who says "If I died tomorrow, I would die feeling I've lived my whole life at 110 percent." The second text is called Let them eat pizza: parenting guru's recipe for bringing up children. Dr Bryan Caplan claims that activities such as music lessons, organized sports and educational games are a waste of time as they do not make the slightest difference to children when they mature. Parents should relax and give the children more slack and take a backseat role in the children's lives. Although he does subtly state that parents should make an effort to interact with their children until the age of 12 where after "it has no effect" The third and last text is a general policy statement from the Summerhill School. The schools policy is that "Learning should come after play" They state that learning is less important than playing. They give the example of Nijinsky, a......

Words: 813 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Gay Marriage

...detrimental to society, and that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Same-sex marriage should not be allowed because studies show that society will be destroyed by the outcome of legalizing this act. Homosexuality is mentioned in the Bible many times and exploits it as an immoral sin. A scripture from the Letter to the Corinthians states, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers not male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God”, and a scripture from Leviticus states, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. Nor shall you mate with any animal, to defile yourself with it. Nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it. It is perversion. ‘Do not defile yourselves with any of these things; for by all these the nations are defiled, which I am casting out before you." These two scriptures are straight out of the Bible and defile homosexuality to the fullest extent. In Genesis, the Bible says that God made man and a woman to multiply. Homosexual couples are incapable of procreating and must adopt if they choose to have children. Procreating is one of the main reasons for getting married, and according to many religious leaders, marriage is a convenient between a man and a woman, and should not be decide by state or......

Words: 1522 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Defense of Marriage Act Is Unconstitutional

...Defense of Marriage Act is Unconstitutional Same-sex marriage should be legal, a federal law and not left to individual states to decide. DOMA, Defense of Marriage Act, should be revoked because it violates the 14th Amendment. When individual states are allowed to act on their own, then it is based on emotional appeal. When it was illegal to enter into an interracial marriage, the whole country was in an uproar about how wrong it was. Each state had their own laws; it was very confusing and complicated. We should never allow this to happen again. Section one of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution states: All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws (Meese 35). Our country was established with the idea of freedom from religious persecution. Researching all the reasons why same-sex marriage is illegal, I have found that the argument “one man + one woman = marriage” is based upon biblical reasons. The bible has been interpreted many different ways and many religions can’t even agree on what is biblical law. Slaves are common in the bible but we do not......

Words: 2381 - Pages: 10

Premium Essay

Gay Marriage

...short where gay marriage is concerned. Homosexuals should be allowed marry and enjoy all of the rights and privileges that come along with being a legal union. Most Americans like to consider themselves open minded and non-prejudice people. If you asked them if gays deserved equal rights concerning holding jobs or buying property, a large number of them would agree. However, when the issue of gay marriage comes up, suddenly the rules of equality change. As the topic becomes more prevalent in society, it seems there are more and more arguments against it. CNN reports that nineteen states not only won’t recognize gay marriages, but have amended their constitutions to outlaw them. Why is such prejudice this being allowed? A strong belief of many people is that marriage is for procreation and that children should not be raised by same sex parents. This claim is completely unfounded. Perhaps many years ago, marriage was strictly for procreation. However, these were often hard, loveless marriages where women were severely oppressed. Today, many couples either are unable to or actively choose not to have children, but are still allowed to marry. As stated by the Massachusetts Supreme Court in the case of Goodridge v. the Department of Public Health in 2003, a landmark case in the fight for same sex marriage, “... it is the exclusive and permanent commitment of the married partners to one another, not the begetting of children, that is the sine qua non of civil marriage.” Just......

Words: 1172 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Family System

...four types of parenting that Feldman (2014) has identified as ciritual to the development of a child these four types of parenting styles have effects on their children. 1.) Authoritiarian parents tend to be controlling and very strict. These children are not allowed to express themselves or their opinions. The effects that this type of parenting has on the child is that they become hostile, withdrawn and lack social skills and are uneasy in their settings. 2.) Premissive parents tend to be very lax in rules and are inconsistent with their children. This places little limits or responsibility for themselves on how their children behave. These children face the effects of having a low self esteem and are also dependant. 3.) Authoritative parents are consistent and reamin firm with their children. Although there is a similary in the first parenting, these parents have the ability to emotionally and psychologically support their children. This parent styles is supported as the best way to parent children. It provides a family system that can produce a confident, capable, respectable and well mannered child that is socially acceptabled. 4.) Univolved parents have no intest or show no interest in their children. According to Feldman these type of parent is the worst stlye that a parent could be, these children are often abused, neglected and leaves the child feeling unloved and detached from relationships. In a longitudinal study performed by Kim and......

Words: 1009 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Gay in America

...can do about it. It is legal to fire someone based on their sexual preference in most states. Current laws protect people from employment discrimination based on race, gender, religion, national origin and disability, but not sexual preference or identity issues. Johnson assures us to stop discrimination a bill called “ENDA (or the Employment Non-Discrimination Act) is currently being lobbied in the federal government that would make it illegal for employers to discriminate against individuals based on sexual orientation or gender identity” (1). ENDA needs to be approved for all people. This kind of discrimination should have never been allowed in the first place. Besides from a job, gay people face relationship issues. Gay people are not allowed to marry nor have the same kids of rights as heterosexual people. In most states they are not even allowed to have a civil union. Gay people all over America are fighting for equal protection under the law. Johnson emphasizes that “Some may think granting civil, registered or domestic partnerships is enough- seeking to preserve the legal definition of marriage as between a man and a woman. But, did you know most civil, domestic and registered partnership laws around the world provide fewer benefits than full marriage? So in many cases, life-long partners are denied some or all of the rights of marriage simply based on their sexual orientation” (1). Most civil partnerships provide fewer benefits than marriage. Life......

Words: 2069 - Pages: 9

Premium Essay

Right to Be Happy

...a lot more work to be done as far as equal rights for gay families all over the U.S. The Defense Marriage Act was originally passed in September 1996 and repealed in June 2013. This was wonderful news for the LGBT Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) community; however they are faced with a few more hurdles. Conservatives are now trying to make it impossible for same-sex couples to be able to adopt, essentially ruining any chances of having a family of their own. Two steps forward, 3 steps back… For decades, the laws against marriage equality have been tight and not in favor for same-sex couples. Conservatives felt and still feel that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that being gay was not only a sin and an abomination, but also a lifestyle choice. It is also believed that gay unions should not have the same benefits as heterosexual ones. In the case of United States vs Windsor where two women whose marriage was legalized in New York, one of the parties passed away and the IRS denied federal estate tax marital deduction for the surviving spouse. The U.S. Supreme court found that DOMA violated the guarantee for equal protection and due process under the U.S. Constitution (Polikoff).Currently thirty-two out of fifty states now legalized same-sex unions. Unfortunately to this day, states that did not approve the legalization of same-sex unions show open hostility towards any couple that aspire to marry. (Towers) Not only are......

Words: 1192 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Pictures

...with a new culture. For the grown-ups this can be exciting to meet a new alternative world other than the one they are used to. But the children on the other hand, often experience the upheaval to be much harder than their parents. Where the parents have a strong anchorage in their old culture and religion, the children have not learnt much about their culture and their religion, which makes it more likely for them to be manipulated. When they are growing up in a society which teaches them one culture with one set of norms and at home they learn another where they have to behave and appear different. This is what the story pictures is about: The story is written by a Pakistani woman; Rahina Khan, and it takes place in the 50’s in a town in England. The story is about the girl Amina. Amina goes to a school where there appears to be mostly British students. This conclusion comes from the fact that they draw pictures from the Christian bible, and that the teacher does not know that Amina is not allowed to draw pictures from the bible. Amina is a young Muslim girl. A guess is that she is around eight years old, based on the facts that she does not know that she is not allowed to draw the Jesus child and they apparently spend a lot of time drawing in her school, so she is probably going in 2’nd grade or so. Amina lives with both her parents in the back room of their shop, where she spends most of her time alone with the TV. She behaves well; it is not all eight year......

Words: 1050 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

One Child Policy

...planning policy. “It officially restricts married, urban couples to having only one child, although they do allow exemptions for several cases including; rural couples, ethnic minorities, and parents without any siblings themselves.” (Rosenberg) A spokesperson of the Committee on the One-Child Policy has said that approximately 35.9% of China's population is currently under the one-child restriction. (Nie) The policy was introduced in 1978 and initially applied to first-born children in the year of 1978. The main purpose for this policy was to alleviate social, economic, and environmental problems in China. Along with reducing the population growth, the policy also helps society in other ways. The citizens' savings rate has increased since the one-child policy was introduced. The average Chinese household now uses fewer resources, both in terms of time and money, which gives many Chinese people more money in the long run. The economy is much more stable, and the poverty rates have decreased. (Rosenberg) Although it has succeeded it relieving the economic stresses on the country, it has also brought to rise some significant problems. The policy has resulted in an increase in forced abortions, female infanticide, and un-reported female births. The reason for this is that in China, male children are very important to the people because they pass on the family name. If a family can only bear one child, and that child happens to be female, there is a high chance that the baby......

Words: 1667 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Pro-Life

...Pro-Life The birth of a child is no mistake or mishap, and their life is no fluke of nature. Soon to be parents may not have planned to have a child, but God did. He was not at all surprised by the conception of a new child. In fact, God expected it; He planned this for the “parents to be” a long time before the baby was even conceived by its parents. God thought about that child and loved them before his or her first heat beat. It was not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. Everyone is alive because God wanted to create them! The Bible says, “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.”  Abortion is the termination of pregnancy before birth, resulting in, or accompanied by, the death of the fetus. It has become one of the most widely debated ethical issues of our time. Considering what is ethical and what is legal in terms of abortion becomes very complex. The ethical concerns that revolve around the abortion issue are those that encompass a great many ideals – both religious and personal – that have to do with an individual’s concept of right and wrong. To some, the ethical implications mean allowing the woman her right to choose; to others, it is no different than murder.    Do you consider something with a beating heart a living creature? Likely, before a woman even has knowledge of being pregnant, at five weeks, a baby’s heart is already formed and beating. Therefore that would make abortion a form of murder...

Words: 1617 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Gay Marriage: Should It Be Allowed?

...Gay Marriage: Should It Be Allowed? BCOM275 Gay Marriage: Should It Be Allowed? Homosexuality has been a taboo existence in the past, but now it is accepted more and more across the globe. However, the institution of marriage amongst the gay community has become a controversial issue, as was interracial marriage in the past. Although there are increasing parts of the United States and the rest of the world in support of marriage equality throughout the LGBT community, there are still those who remain against it. In this paper, you will read views and information from both sides stating why gay marriage should be legalized or remain illegal from the standpoints of family, equal rights, and religion. Homosexual and bisexual behavior has been documented around the world since ancient times via art, literature, and other historical artifacts (History of Homosexuality, 2013). In fact, studies show that many people are unaware that a peer, family member, or friend is homosexual. With that being said, why should gay marriage be so controversial? Supporters of gay marriage as well as the LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transgender) community agree that gay marriage should be legalized without stipulations. Those in civil unions are allowed to legally adopt children, but they cannot be in the hospital room when their partner passes away. It is unjust. Marriage should exist between two people who love each other, despite gender. To state one of the......

Words: 2349 - Pages: 10

Free Essay

Coach Carter Book Review

...blame the broken lamp on a bird. In describing the bird the children come up with an elaborate description. After Papa bear came home the cubs then told him the story, but this time some of the details had changed. Neither parent was fooled about the children’s story. Mama Bear explains to the cubs that the lamp can be put back together, but was very sad and disappointed that her children were lying to her and that trust cannot be repaired as easily. At this point both cubs feel bad and start taking the blame for their parts in the lamp being broken. This is the last time the cubs tell a “whopper” story. They still slip up and break the rules, but they have learned their lesson and never lie again. The cubs come to learn that they should always tell the truth, because, as the book says, “trust is one thing you can’t put back together once it’s broken.” (Jan Berenstain, 1983) There are so many ways to implement this story into our classrooms. I cannot help but think of creativity in regards to this story. With that being said I like the idea of creating a collage expressing and/ or representing what honesty means, feels, sounds and looks like to them. To help scaffold this lesson I would allow the use any medium or a combination of materials including: pencils, pens, pastels, crayon, cutout pictures and paste, to illustrate the theme of honesty. I feel that kids are not allowed to use creativity as often as they should within our schools today and this would just be one......

Words: 451 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Personal Ethics Development

...Personal Ethics Development Paper PHL/323 July 15, 2010 In this paper I will discuss my personal ethical system and ground rules. I will talk about how I developed my values and what those values are and the sources I believe I developed them from. I will also discuss how my personal values impact my work environment and how my company values impact my personal values. Development of Values One’s personal values are acquired early in life. At birth we are born with no knowledge. We cry when we are hungry, need our diaper changed or want attention. We lie there content until we need something then we cry. This is the starting point that sets the tone and direction for one’s life and the decision-making process. The goal of developing values in children is to establish the capability to make sound judgments (Kohlberg, 1971). The entire process of value development is lifelong and continuous (Nucci, 2002). Personal Values Personal values are almost like DNA, individual to one person. Personal values are those that define me as a person: •I believe that people are responsible for his/her own actions…•I believe in family unity…•I believe in compassion…•I believe in the importance of a good education…•I believe in having good work ethics…•I believe in love…•I believe in honesty…•I believe in choice…•I believe we are who we want to be…•I believe that we learn from our mistakes…•I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy…•I believe my dad......

Words: 1371 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

My Sister's Keeper

...vitro fertilization to ensure the presence or absence of particular genes or characteristics". (Web Source) Some people say that this process is unnatural and should never have even been created. Others say that this process is the way of the future, and that everyone should undergo this operation. Whichever side people lie on, there are valid points for both sides of the argument. Personally, I believe that children should not be produced for medical reasons under any circumstances because it would create an in equality amongst society, it could cause harmful long term effects and it takes away the child’s rights. Firstly, if this process gained popularity it would create an inequality amongst society and create children with added benefits. The process that creates designer babies is called Vitro Fertilization and it involves “monitoring and stimulating the development of healthy egg(s) in the ovaries. Then collecting the eggs and securing the sperm. Then combining the eggs and sperm together in the laboratory and provide the appropriate environment for fertilization and early embryo growth. Finally, transfer the embryos into the uterus”. Children that are created from this process are seen as “perfect” or “desirable”. This causes a division between children who did not undergo this process and those that did. Children and even adults are skeptical when anything different appears and people that go through IVF are seen as different because they are not natural and almost......

Words: 1457 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Childhood Obesity

...For children, obesity is defined as having a BMI at or above the 95th percentile for children the same age and sex. BMI is also a useful index for cardiovascular risk. It has been established that childhood obesity has many factors to it, but what percentage of it is due to parents allowing their children to become a product of their environment? The imbalance of caloric intake with actual calories used for growth, development, metabolism, and physical activity is one of many factors involving childhood obesity (Karnik, Kanekar, 2011). Genetics play a part, by altering body fat content and absorption of energy. “Heritability of obesity from parents also influences obesity in children.” (Karnik, Kanekar, 2011). The behavioral factor of childhood obesity is directly correlated to lack of physical activity. A lot of children spend a great deal of their time indoors watching television, playing video games and being on the computer. Television advertisements related to unhealthy snack foods contributes to a child’s choice for unhealthy, eating behaviors and obesity. The children of today want instant gratification, and what better way to get it by grabbing a bag of candy, chips or something else that is readily available, and takes no time to prepare. Environmental factors are seen in settings at home, school and community. Parents have the most influence on the child when it comes to eating healthy. If the parents are not promoting a healthy lifestyle, the children, in...

Words: 1791 - Pages: 8