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Past, Present, Future

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Running head: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE

Past, Present and Future

Brandon M. Kilmade

PSY 202

Professor Ramsey

June 8, 2009

Past, Present and Future Things are finally starting to come together for me in my 35th year in this adventure called life. I have been through ups and some major downs in my lifetime and everything that I have experienced has had a part in why I am the way I am today. Little did I know that my past would have a great effect on my future, as well. I sit here today with a clear image of who I want to be and what it will take to uphold that image. I know where I want to be and how to get there, now I just need to let life take its course and wait. This is a journey of my life past, present and future. Growing up as the youngest child of three was quite an advantage for me. I got to see firsthand what not to do and who not to hang out with. This only helped me to be more aware and to be careful. Universal changes are common to every individual in a species and are linked to specific ages (Boyd & Bee, 2006). I was in class way before I ever stepped foot in a classroom. Life lessons I learned before my life had really begun. I came from a loving but dysfunctional family setting. I cannot really say that I had the best role models to look up to or follow. My parents split up when I was eight years old. My dad was a deadbeat and my Mother had to provide for us on her own. Needless to say her best was not enough and we still needed help to stay afloat. I stole, lied and cheated to get what my family needed. I did what I had to do to live; I never took something that I did not need. Looking back I have some regrets but they are quickly wiped from my mind because I know it was necessity for survival. When it came to the point that my Mother could not afford to take care of herself and me, I moved out. Throughout high school I had no place to call “home” and lived with friends. I was not happy that I was in high school and had to think about where I was going to sleep and what I was going to do when I got out of high school. When I graduated from high school I was ready to take on the world. I was ready to go to college and experience the whole college lifestyle. Reality kicked in and I learned that college costs money, money that my family could never provide. I looked all over for work when I graduated only to find none. I had no job skills, no job experience and no clue. I decided to take a job with my friends dad, he owned a painting company. I moved to Idaho and worked on a construction site as a laborer or grunt as known in construction slang.
I learned a lot about myself in a short time there. Mindless work is good sometimes; it gives you plenty of time to think while you are working, time to think that this is not for you. I have always thought highly of myself and I knew then and there that I wanted to use my head instead of my hands to make a living (Boyd & Bee, 2006). It’s easy to fall into a pattern, I fell right into it. I worked and worked dead end jobs because they paid and like a fool I thought they would recognize my potential. It takes time and money to better your self in the job field. Employers are looking for college educated potential employees not self admitted hard workers. Time and money were not at my disposal so I had to keep working, following the viscous cycle that I created for myself. I now work for a company that pays for me to be educated. I stumbled from job to job, now I have a career and an education to boot. I went through things that I don’t wish upon anyone and I’m still standing. Life makes you or breaks you, it’s really up to you what you do with the challenges life presents. I feel good about myself and my future looks bright. I have everything needed to succeed I just need to stay positive minded and keep my focus. When I reflect on what things I have gone through in my life, and what things I have overcome in my life, I do not feel guilty or like a “victim,” I know I have done what I needed to, to survive. The earlier years of my life where very hard, especially in high school and as the year progressed and I stayed focused, I was able to become self-sufficient to where I have a stable job and attend school on a full-time basis. I know that life has challenges to allow a person to learn from each challenge, even the ones that seem to “break” you or get in the way of one’s success. I am glad that everything has happened the way it has happened in my life and I look forward to all future challenges. I feel good about myself and my future looks bright. I have everything needed to succeed I just need to stay positive minded and keep my focus. As my life has changed so has my perspective on life (Boyd & Bee, 2006). Funny how when your growing up you have these visions of how great life is going to be, how you are going to be great at what ever it was that you were dreaming of being. I have come full circle I guess, I have that dream again. This dream is clearer and I know what the outcome will be because I know how much work it will take and how much sacrifice is needed. When I was a kid I remember hearing my Grandmother wish of me becoming a doctor, hell why not a lawyer, heck let’s make it president even. All parents have that dream for their kids and we buy into it. I remember playing with my friends growing up and them saying the same. Here I am some twenty five years later and my grandmother’s wish of me being a doctor is so much closer than it could have ever been. If I stick to my work ethic and improve on my study habits I will be well on my way to becoming a doctor. Dr. Brandon Kilmade has a very nice ring to it I think. A Masters degree in Psychology in well in my grasp thanks to Ashford University and the University of the Rockies and the opportunity they have given me.

Reference
Boyd, D., & Bee, H. (2006). Adult Development. Boston: Pearson Custom Publishing.

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