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Personal Narrative: Border Paranoia

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Have you ever felt so bad about your life that it was easier to stay in bed each morning, coiled in the foetal position, firmly tucked away from the fears and tears that the coming day had in store? Have you been so low and alone that what you really would prefer would be to just… fade away?
Nothing, it seems, can save you from this most overwhelming blackness mixed with a series of irrational fears about your future or current situation.
These fears are so strong that they really border paranoia. You also believe that no one other than you ever felt this way. You just want the world to go away, so you tuck yourself further into the bed and continue to worry.
It has been days since you slept which means your whirring mind has 24 hours of opportunity each day to undermine and criticise. Any semblance of self-confidence has evaporated with assistance of this negative self-talk. The worst thing though, is being completely out of control. You did not invent or encourage this absolute bleakness or encourage your self-esteem to desert you. You know not why this has happened and feel there is no one to talk to as they surely will not understand. The question of What is happening to me is so real. Where did this come from and …show more content…
My father had recently been killed in an industrial accident and the grief I experienced probably kicked off this episode. The blackness was accompanied by terrible anxiety and changed my life forever. Up until that point I had a normal, healthy happy existence and life was filled with opportunity, colour and a sort of innocence, the latter left me forever the first time I was depressed. However, looking back, my life was not actually normal, just normal for me. I was always and had always been anxious, or cried much more than my friends and felt things deeper than most of my compatriots. But I had never experienced depression until this

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