Personal Narrative
PSY/230
December 1, 2013
Stephanie Munro

Personal Narrative
The past five years have been a whirlwind of evolution and growth for me. I went from being in a four year relationship to single, then a year and a half later back into a relationship with the man I am going to marry in less than a year. I also went from having a great friendship with someone to finding out I was being used by her. All of the events that occurred in the past five years have brought me to where I am today; a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little happier.
I do not truly know what the purpose of my life is, but looking back over the past five years I know that I am a little closer now, rather than back then, to finding out what it is. I find myself to be happier and more positive in my outlook on life. With the upcoming nuptials and impending changes that are coming, one of the biggest changes is that I will be a step-mother; I am excited and very forward-thinking. My fiancé and I have agreed to have more children, and I am trying to convince him to have children sooner rather than later because I know we are ready and I am anxious to build our family.
Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development really places where I am today and what I went through to get here. Within the past five years, I moved from the young adulthood stage of life to the mature adulthood. I had defined myself by the previous relationship I was in and when that ended I was lost. Over time, I rebuilt myself to be independent but open to intimacy. During this transition I became good friends with a woman who I later found out was using our friendship for her own end rewards. While it hurt that she threw away our friendship the way she did, she played an integral part in helping me to become intimate with others again. I met my fiancé and our relationship progressed and I started to see more of a future with him than any others I became romantically involved with. According to McAdams (2009), Erikson believed that if a person identified who they are prior to committing themselves to an intimate relationship, then they are better suited for the ups and downs that accompany any relationship (362).
After some time had gone by and the dating became more serious, I started looking towards the future and analyzing whether or not I could see Josh, my fiancé, in it. When we started talking and making future plans, I started to slide into the generativity versus stagnation stage of life. Josh already has a daughter and being around her really cemented me in that stage of life. I know that I am not her mother and therefore do not impact her life the way her parents do, but I want to be a good role model for her, someone she can look up to and turn to when she needs it. “The generative adult commits him-or herself to some activity that is larger than his or her own life, investing significant time and creative energy into an endeavor that will “live on”” (McAdams, 2009, pg. 363). Not only do I want to have children and make sure they have a bright and positive future but I want to give what I can to others to positively impact them. The world could use more people to lend helping hands when and where needed and my hope is that I can one day pass on, to my children, the importance of caring for others.
Personality is not something that we are born with and it never alters; our personalities fluctuate with our surroundings. Growing up, religion, race, culture, and family were key elements in my personality. I always listened to what the adults were saying around me, and these were adults who were part of my family so I looked up to most of them, and I took what they said and did and I copied it, in my own way. As I transformed into an adult, I began to think for myself. I listened to the religious views of my family and disagreed with some; what they thought was just their interpretation and I was capable of coming up with my own interpretation that was no more or less wrong than theirs. Religion, race, culture, family, and gender will continue to play a large part in my personality because they are all around me. Unless I live as a hermit, my personality will continue to be impacted. Even if these roles do not change, my personality is still impacted because the roles continue to maintain the status quo.
I have no desire to ever make changes to my past because without the events of my past, my present would not be what it is today. My past is something I must live with and learn from to make for a better future. Could I do without the embarrassing moments? Yes. Are there things that I wish I had done differently? Absolutely. But my past is my past and I cannot change it. I can only use it to work towards a better future.

References:
McAdams, D. P. (2009). The Person: An Introduction to the Science of Personality Psychology (5th ed.). Retrieved from The University of Phoenix eBook Collection database.