Personal Reflection on the Self
Marshawn Metters
PSY400
Monday, October 21st, 2013
Instructor Ami Taharka

Personal Reflection
The concept of self is a very intriguing subject in which many different psychologists as well as sociologist have spent a great deal of time in an attempt to define what the self means to each individual separately. Each and every individual share different ideas on what they believe about self and how it helps produce their whole being. The concept of self often deals with the past and the future, considering how an individual used to be as well as what an individual would like to be. The study of self often times will shine light upon an individual looking to the world for understanding, hopes, and fears of how to interact, what to expect, as well as what that individual believes the world thinks they should act or be. This paper will allow me to share personal experience that have played a part in my own social development as well as define self concept, self esteem, and self efficacy.
The Self
The term self-concept is defined as a person’s answer to the question, “Who am I?” (Myers, 2010). The self exposes how an individual may perceive who he or she really is. The concept of self defines the roles and often times the attributes in which an individual see when looking in at oneself. A basic explanation of self derives from social interaction; social interaction guides an individual’s actions and behaviors. My grandmother said to me as I was growing up, “The grass may be greener in the neighbor’s yard, but their water bill is higher.” It wasn’t until recently that I understood what she meant. Often times I would compare myself to others based upon what they had and what I didn’t. I thought wearing the best clothes and having the newest gadgets formed my identity or “Self” as others saw me and therefore, signified my status or level of success in life. Self concept consists of three sources: cognitive dissonance theory, self-perception theory, and self-presentation theory (Myers, 2010). The cognitive dissonance theory is when a person is motivated to maintain consistency. The self-perception theory is when the actions of an individual are judged by the actions of other attitudes, environmental forces, and other traits. Lastly, the self-presentation theory deals with how an individual will make an attempt at maintaining consistency in order to avoid seeming inconsistent , unlearned, and or foolish.
Self Concept
The self concept is how we think about and evaluate ourselves. To be aware of oneself is to have a concept of oneself (McLeod, 2008). Self concept deals with the traits of an individual’s personality as well as that individual’s behaviors and attitudes. How an individual sees themselves is how that individual will most likely experience life in a social world. Being confident is a trait shared by most all successful individuals in today’s society. A person’s ability to believe in him/herself despite criticism and opposition is paramount to reaching their highest potential. I do my absolute best at setting great examples that I would want my children to follow in. I often consider the opinions and suggestions of close friends and family when dealing with lives situations. It’s a joy to be able to learn from their examples while I bring my own examples to the table as well.
Self Esteem
While an individual works hard to maintain a self concept that individual’s self confidence also comes into play. When considering self esteem it is important to understand that it is more than thinking highly of yourself. Self esteem is an individual’s beliefs and or feelings what he or she values. Self esteem is more personal and less relational (Myers, 2010). It deals with the state of mind that an individual should have, such as self worth. If you tell a person something so many times, soon they will start to believe it. A child repeatedly called stupid or lazy will most likely have trouble in school. A girl who told she is ugly or fat will probably develop low self-esteem; and the battered woman who is told she can’t do any better may not even try. The mind reacts to stimuli; therefore, it will only respond to what it is exposed to. It’s unrealistic to consistently bombard our minds with negative thoughts and expect positive outcomes or results. All too often, we are out own worst enemy by telling ourselves what we can and cannot do. “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” Although the sky is the limit, most people will never realize it because they are too busy walking around with their heads to the ground following the shadows of others.
Self Efficacy
Self efficacy is when an individual’s believes in his or her abilities to flourish or succeed in certain situations. The ability to complete a job or a task in a more excellent way than someone else working on the same exact task and receiving praise or positive feedback for the task accomplished can raise self efficacy. My individual self efficacy is measured by how confident in my abilities I believe I am. Depending on how I feel I can perform compared to others that may be performing at a high level in certain situations well help shape my self efficacy. I try very hard at being fearless. When people think of someone as being fearless, it doesn’t always mean that they are referring to those who run into burning buildings to save a cat or swim alone at night in shark infested waters. Yes, just as people confuse confidence with conceit, the same mistake is sometimes made with fearlessness and stupidity. Being fearless as it relates to success means not being afraid to take risks. I don’t believe God rewards fear and/or laziness; therefore, I refuse to embrace either of the two.
Social experiences or events
There are social experiences and events that I can share. At the age of 17 I was sent from Austell, Georgia to Los Angeles, California to live permanently with my father. I had to use and rely on my self esteem, self concept, and self efficacy in order to adjust to my brand new surroundings and environment. I often feared not fitting in and not being accepted by society during this stage in my life. Another life experience that helped define and develop my “self” was when I was married at the age of 25. I got married and from that marriage came 2 children. Shortly after I was married I endured an unpleasant divorce. I literally had to relearn what I felt society expected of me as well as the role I wanted to take within society. This stage of my life was rather difficult. Being a single father came new goals, new focus and a new outlook on life often times understanding that it wasn’t about me any longer but the well being of my children. At this time I set out to accomplish certain goals in which I did just that. I strive hard each and every day to be the best example I can be for my growing children. My priorities are in order and my self esteem and concept are intact. Each day I work hard to reach the aspect of self and to be the great individual that I am destined to be.
Conclusion
The self deals with how an individual considers themselves to be when looking at themselves in a social or personal way. Our surroundings and environment play a major role in determining who we are as well as how we are and act. In several personal situations that I have experienced, I have depended on past strengths and positives in order to accomplish personal goals. God made me who I am and I can honestly say that I am very happy to be forever growing in a forever changing world.

McLeod, S. (2008). Simply Psychology. Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/self-concept.html
Myers, D. G. (2010). Social psychology (10th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw Hill.