10/06/2013
Psy 202 Instr. Weniger
WK 1 Assignment

Profound Life Events This week’s assignment asks to list five profound events in my life. The first that comes to mind is the birth of my son, Michael. He is now 27 years old and in the US Air Force. He was born on 5/13/1986. My own birthday is 05/15/1964, I always thought this was a nice coincidence. When he was conceived, my wife and I were still young and struggling. We were married about 2 years. We lived in Virginia Beach. In addition, we had just bought our first condo. Things were tight but good. I was just out of the Army and she was finishing her first enlistment in the Navy. We had been together about 5 year’s altogether. One of the surprises this brought was the pregnancy itself. My wife had some reproductive issues and pregnancy was unlikely. My feelings immediately were apprehensive. I was not sure I was ready to be a father. My own father was absent a lot due to his job. My father was a great man even though he had to be away. He taught me, or better sowed me about responsibility. I was not sure I could do the same. All the factors we used in making our decision seemed, at least to me that we should wait. My wife was not on board with termination. This created some stress in the very beginning and is something I have come to regret. As things progressed I calmed and really looked forward to that big day. We really get into the preparations are getting excited. I have to be honest, I was not sure I knew what I was doing. This makes me laugh today, looking back. The big day arrives and as I like to tell the story, sets off a scene out of a Three Stooges movie. From the beginning when coming out of the shower her her water broke, gassing up the car, things became hysterical. (She was not sure what had happened). Thank God for those books we were reading all the time. At the hospital there were some tense moments. Thirty-six hours later my son was born 8lb. 12oz. and 21inches. Perfect. I was immediately changed. This event is the most important experience in my life. I can reflect back now and see how I matured it seemed on the spot. I thought I was a responsible guy before and nothing can prepare you for the birth of a child, but at the same time everything does. I do not think there is any better way to express this thought. It changed me forever. The second significant event in my life I do not remember the exact date. I received a promotion to Foreman in the Painters union in NYC. I was young and working hard. Union wages are great but the cost of living in NY is tough. When I got this promotion it afforded me and my family to really start to live. It gave us security. Money is always an issue from buying a nicer house with better schools, too all the little things. This was turning point in my life. I was starting to see myself as successful. Hard work was paying off. I made some mistakes along the way but it never shook me of that feeling. I think of it as my second transition into adulthood. The third event on my list might seem trivial to some but not me. I took my father to Game 1 of the 1996 World Series at Yankee stadium. I spoke before of my father being away a lot growing up. We had a good relationship but not very close. Another part of this experience I can say was profound but not positive. In 1994 my mother died of cancer. The connection to the baseball game was. My family was big Yankee fans, especially my mother. She died before getting to see Derek Jeter play. After she died life seemed to be draining away. I would pick my father up at the train station every day. My father and I have never been open with our feelings. We would chit chat about little things and circle the important ones. A strange phenomenon I think but it worked. Baseball was a good example of this. One day driving with him I mention that if the Yankees make the playoffs we should go see a game. Life seemed to be draining out of him. I had never been to a game with him. He kind of grumbled an acknowledgment. Well some weeks later the playoffs start and the Yankees are on a roll. I look into tickets and purchase two for $3000. Expensive but I think it is worth it, and a promise after all. I never told my father how much they cost. Anyhow we go to the game and the Yankees get killed by Atlanta 12- 3. However, my father and I had a great time. My father and I talked for the first time. It made me happy. I thought my mother would have been proud. I think my father was proud also. My father died about ten years later but those years were better than the first 30. The last two important events in my life are when I sold my house in NY and meeting my second wife. They say timing is everything in real estate, I agree. I was able to sell my house at a huge profit. It was just before the financial meltdown we all experienced recently. I feel blessed to have had the sense to take that chance. It has afforded me the opportunity to relocate, purchase a new home, and secure the future. This is a good feeling. It is one of the reasons I decided to go back to school. Finally, the last but certainly not least profound event would be meeting my wife Nicole and my step daughter Brianna. Life has a way of really beating you down. I was getting tired of the “rat race”. Many times I thought I had life figured out only to be taught another lesson. I have made my share of mistakes. When I met her it gave me a sense of renewal. I had a feeling of stagnation. Nicole and Brianna make life interesting again. I never had any other kids but now I wish I had. All those doubts I had years ago about parenthood are gone. It is certainly different raising a girl for sure. I think I have a handle on it. My life has turned out to be an interesting ride, but I would not trade it with anyone.