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A journey- Colm Tóibin

No one can ever garantee us that our lives will turn out the way WE want it to be. And accepting something that kills us on the inside like sorrow does, is never an easy thing for us to do. Everyone yearns for the perfect future and eventually when/if we approach to what we thought would be perfect but isn’t that perfect at all we start to put questionmarks in our actions. Where did I wrong? How did I end up here? Is it MY fault? Those kinds of question can really take over our minds and leaves us with a feeling hopelessness and guilt. We feel like we have failed big time and we believe that it is our fault if anything in life goes the wrong direction. We’re so good at taking all the blame on our own shoulders and walk on with such a big burden. This is what Mary is going through in the text “ A Journey”.

She used to live a normal life back in the days and everything seemed to be perfect for her. But as time passed her by, her life began to turn upside down. Her husband (Seamus) has gone through some strokes and one of those strokes paralyzed his one side and the miserable condition of her son is still a mystery to her as it seems that she can‘t figure out what has caused his depression.
Although David has made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk with Mary “No questions, Ma, I said no questions”, Mary still makes an effort to reach through him instead of getting his back against her.
During his childhood David was spending most of his time at Mrs. Redmond in the evenings while his parents were out. Their absence could be the reason why David is so depressed. They don’t really know their own son too well. “they were used to being free.”
He’d rather stay at Mrs. Redmond than being with his own parents. He doesn’t even react when Mary tells him that his father have had another stroke. He just ignores her and if he had anything to say, it would only be few words or a little smile.
Mary tries to keep her head up no matter how harsh he goes on her. Every now and then she memorizes back to when David was a little kid and always would ask her about everything and also when her husband used to be a principal in the school nearby. Now it’s all different. Her husband and son are selfish.
David won’t help her on right track so she can “safe” him from his miserable condition and her husband just wants to get his son back home “Is he home? Did you bring him?”. She is the wife and mother, she can’t be as selfish as them. She is there to take care of them and she knows that pretty well. End the end she also starts being silent as Seamus and David although she is falling apart on the inside. She feels that it’s all her fault. But to live “along” with them she thinks that being silent and leave questions being unanswered behind just like THEY (husband and son) does, she thinks that life will be just as simple as it was once back then.
Throughout the story she is searching for answers and by memorizing the past so she can find some “clues” that can help her make her son and husband happy again, she goes on a inner journey hence ‘A journey’.

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