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Reflective Journal

In: Business and Management

Submitted By AlissaD
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Alissa Durkan
BUS 625: Current Trends in Leadership
Reflective Journal: Week 6
Give and Take by Adam Grant

This portion of the book deals with overcoming the doormat effect. One study that was done measured 3,600 people for a year, tracking and coding giving behavior. After the year transpired they tracked how the salaries, speed of advancement, and promotions compared. In all three metrics, givers did worse than others. Becoming a doormat is one of the worst things that can happen to a giver. The author has suggestions in this portion of the book how givers can use the otherish approach to escape the trap of being too trusting. They do this by becoming highly flexible and adaptable in their reciprocity style. This also helps givers sidestep the issues that come with being too empathetic and too timid by repurposing some skills that come naturally to givers. Trust is one of the main reasons givers are susceptible to the doormat effect. They tend to mistakenly assume that everyone is trustworthy. People also rely on personality cues that can be misleading, especially those that are agreeable. Agreeable people tend to appear cooperative and polite, they come across as warm and welcoming. People that are disagreeable tend to be more critical and competitive, they seem to be more comfortable with conflict. We tend to stereotype agreeable people as givers and the disagreeable people as takers. Empathy is also something spread throughout givers behavior and another major source of vulnerability. When a giver empathizes they focus on the counterparts emotions and feelings, this puts them at risk of giving away too much. If we engage in perspective taking, where we consider a counterparts thought and interests, they are more likely to find a way to make a deal which will satisfy our counterpart without sacrificing our own interests. Givers need to become matchers when dealing with takers. Once it is clear a person is a taker a giver needs to flex their reciprocity style and shift to a matching strategy. It can be advantageous to a giver to alternate between giving and matching. They should never forget a good turn but they must occasionally forgive a bad one. This is also an otherish strategy. Someone may makes the mistake of trusting all of the time, as time passes they will adjust their styles in exchanges with someone who appears to be a taker by action or reputation. .

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