RESOLUTIONS AT WORKPLACES
Today, negative samples of conflicts are surrounding us; when you turn on your TV, almost every news program, reality show or a talk show or sitcom episode, we watch people acting out their conflicts more often than not in their worst way possible. Let’s face the reality here; anyone working person, spends more time with our work colleagues with than we do with our family, friends and loved ones. Fortunately or rather unfortunately, our work colleagues become our best friends. “But even in the best of times it’s not unusual to be faced with the guy three cubicles down from yours whom you’d just as soon clobber than look at again. Fold in a heightened sense of tension due to uncertain job security these days and even the smallest disagreements can turn into firestorms. What you do when facing a conflict at work is critical; especially if you don’t have the luxury of delivering a Jerry McGuire-Esq. speech to the entire office before making your dramatic exit. Working it out in a way that calms the situation, improves your working relationship, and satisfies both your needs is ideal (Vivian Scott, 2010)”.
It is imperative to practice utmost courage in order to resolve conflicts at work. While it is much easier and safer to ignore the necessary conflict and play calm, unresolved conflict will always escalate. One thing with unresolved conflict is that it never disappears; all it does is to simmer below the surface. Think of the analogy of water that is almost coming to boil, it burbles up in the pot slowly till it reaches the boiling point and at this very moment, the constant is visible on the on the surface of the water. This is exactly how unresolved conflict will behave. At one point the conflict may look and seem calm, but every now and then or once in awhile, usually at the worst possible times, or least expected the conflict burbles up to the surface once again. Unresolved conflict never goes away and it can quickly result into a full boil at any given times.
Most working people do not embrace conflict resolutions at their work places and often they are afraid it. In most cases these people feel threatened by conflict resolution for fear of not getting what they may want or the fear of if the other party gets what they want. Experience has demonstrated that regardless of environment we are whether good or bad, conflict resolution is uncomfortable because people lack skills at conflict resolution. Conflict hurt people and at work, people are still expected to work together effectively daily.
The Benefits of Conflict Resolution:
Technology, generation X’ers and Y’ers, baby boomers make’s today’s workplace conflict resolution more important, and at the same time, more difficult. Dynamics in work changes like team work environments has create more conflict as people with different opinions must choose to work together. These work environments, has disabled the traditional reliance on a manager to solve conflicts and make decisions, bringing co-workers into more frequent conflict, as they must work issues out for themselves. Conflict resolution also enables people to explore their desired alternatives and potential routes and at the same time having to consider different ideas. Conflict resolution at workplace has increased greater participation with emphasis in ownership and commitment to decisions and goals generated by the group or individuals. Usually, the goal of the people, the team is not to eliminate conflict but to learn how to manage conflict constructively. “On one hand conflict is a positive thing which brings benefits for people and employers. Conflict has many benefits. It builds self awareness and enables people to learn about one another’s differences. Conflict is a motivator, it energizes people to perform and succeed, and it generates creative solutions to problems that need to be addressed. One approach to conflict resolution is mediation. Mediation ought to be process for supporting people in conflict to access the benefits of conflict; to find out about themselves more deeply, to build an awareness and understanding of the other person as a real human being with needs and interests, and to discover that they have their own power and ability to create solutions for themselves. Mediation supports people to find a path through the pain of conflict and out to resolution. Mediation does help parties to generate their own positive outcome from their conflict journey (Katherine Graham, 2010)”.
According to Vivian Scott, every person involved in a conflict, has a responsibility in that conflict. “As difficult as it is to admit you probably have some responsibility in the conflict. Self-assessment, and by that I mean more than 30 seconds of superficial introspection, requires you to consider how your actions and reactions look to others. Ask yourself, what have I said or done, or not said or done, that has kept this conflict going? Change may not happen overnight, and you may need the assistance of friends, family, or professionals to help you through the transition. No need to continue being the bully, the one who stirs the pot, or even the victim. If it takes two to tango and you’re no longer willing to dance, the conflict has no choice but to diminish, (Vivian Scott, 2010)”.
Pride comes before a fall; we have to change our character and even when our expectations are not met, the immense fulfillment of our goals and ideas in furthering our agenda has a quality that is above the conflict. When we examine and change our own habitual patterns of behavior, we can have a positive impact on present and future conflict. Dispute resolution procedures are more effective where efficiency, equity and voice are balanced. Again conflict is an opportunity to grow and learn more about each other. It is human nature that when we have our beliefs challenged, often, we become defensive of them and this is how we grow intellectually.
“A major trend emerging on the American employment scene is the creation of workplaces that are more collaborative and less confrontational, more team-oriented and less hierarchical. Employers and employees alike are realizing the absurdity of dealing with each other as adversaries when they must produce goods or perform services together. Forward-looking companies are investigating management and production systems that emphasize informed participation, decentralized authority and expanded responsibility. Consistent with these goals, they are finding that mediation is the best dispute resolution process, (Laura Farrow, 1996)”.
According to Elizabeth Scott, “When it comes to effective conflict resolution, how effectively we listen is at least as important as how effectively we express ourselves. It’s vital to understand the other person’s perspective, rather than just our own, if we are to come to a resolution. In fact, just helping the other person feel heard and understood can sometimes go a long way toward the resolution of a conflict. Good listening also helps for you to be able to bridge the gap between two conflict teams, understand where the disconnect lies, etc. It’s also common to be so defensive and entrenched in your own perspective that you literally can’t hear the other person’s point of view, (Elizabeth Scott, M.S., 2008)”.
In the 1970s Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness. They argued that people typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However they also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) helps you to identify which style you tend towards when conflict arises. Thomas and Kilmann's styles are:
Competitive: People who tend towards a competitive style take a firm stand, and know what they want. They usually operate from a position of power, drawn from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive ability. This style can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be make fast; when the decision is unpopular; or when defending against someone who is trying to exploit the situation selfishly. However it can leave people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful when used in less urgent situations.
Collaborative: People tending towards a collaborative style try to meet the needs of all people involved. These people can be highly assertive but unlike the competitor, they cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone is important. This style is useful when a you need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution; when there have been previous conflicts in the group; or when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.
Compromising: People who prefer a compromising style try to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone. Everyone is expected to give up something, and the compromiser him- or herself also expects to relinquish something. Compromise is useful when the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground, when equal strength opponents are at a standstill and when there is a deadline looming.

Accommodating: This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expense of the person’s own needs. The accommodator often knows when to give in to others, but can be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted. This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative. Accommodation is appropriate when the issues matter more to the other party, when peace is more valuable than winning, or when you want to be in a position to collect on this “favor” you gave. However people may not return favors, and overall this approach is unlikely to give the best outcomes.

Avoiding: People tending towards this style seek to evade the conflict entirely. This style is typified by delegating controversial decisions, accepting default decisions, and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. It can be appropriate when victory is impossible, when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem. However in many situations this is a weak and ineffective approach to take.
In resolving conflict using this approach, you follow these rules:
Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure;
Keep people and problems separate: Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just "being difficult" – real and valid differences can lie behind conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships; Pay attention to the interests that are being presented: By listening carefully you'll most-likely understand why the person is adopting his or her position;
Listen first; talk second: To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position;
Set out the “Facts”: Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision; and
Explore options together: Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to this idea jointly. By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control. Once you understand the different styles, you can use them to think about the most appropriate approach (or mixture of approaches) for the situation you're in. You can also think about your own instinctive approach, and learn how you need to change this if necessary. Ideally you can adopt an approach that meets the situation, resolves the problem, respects people's legitimate interests, and mends damaged working relationships, (Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, 1974)”.
Conflict in the workplace can be incredibly destructive to good teamwork. Managed in the wrong way, real and legitimate differences between people can quickly spiral out of control, resulting in situations where co-operation breaks down and the team's mission is threatened. This is particularly the case where the wrong approaches to conflict resolution are used. To calm these situations down, it helps to take a positive approach to conflict resolution, where discussion is courteous and non-confrontational, and the focus is on issues rather than on individuals. If this is done, then, as long as people listen carefully and explore facts, issues and possible solutions properly, conflict can often be resolved effectively.