...Leadership and Self Deception Introduction From personal experience, nobody ever wants to hear that they have a problem in any aspect of their life. The truth is painful to hear. I know that I’m very critical of myself and I am able to accept it from myself. By nature, we as individuals aren’t as accepting to listen to someone else tell us that we have a problem or that we are the problem. Sometimes listening to someone tell you that you have a problem can really throw you off your game. In your mind, you are thinking…yeah right, I don’t have a problem, tssk tssk, what are you talking about? Your natural instinct is to disagree and get defensive, maybe your eyes twitch, your heart beats really fast and you break out in a sweat, whatever it is…you likely deny that you have a problem. Philosophers call this self deception, being in the box where you resist any suggestion that there is a problem. Self deception is most common in organizations and is the most damaging. Others looking at you give you a different perspective of yourself. You yourself may never see that there are any issues. When we aren’t recognizing there is a problem, we tend to be blind to the truth. If we are close minded in acknowledging there is a problem, any approach to find a solution will make matters worse. Self deception is so fundamental to leadership because leadership is about making matters better. We undermine our leadership at every aspect if we perceive that we are never the problem...
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...One would assume that each person will have a unique method as to how they are engaging in self-deception, thereby creating multiple methods, however, there are only two different routes to this deception; intention and motivation (Nelkin, 2002). Those who follow the intentionalist view argue that an intention to deceive oneself is necessary, whereas those who follow the motivationalist view argue that a desire is all that is needed to be deceived (Nelkin, 2002). For example, a student attempting to convince himself that he does not need to study for a final, because he attended all the classes and read all the chapters, is falling under the intentionalist view. This student knows deep down that in order to do well he will need to study, however, he has the intention to convince himself not to study therefore categorizing him as an intentionalist. An example of the motivationalist view is as follows; a woman is in a bad relationship and wants to believe that her partner will change. This woman knows that her partner will not change, however, she continues to work on their relationship, in hopes of change, which shows a desire to deceive herself into viewing only the positive aspects of this relationship....
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...Understanding Self-Deception The Arbinger Institute presents a creative narrative to illustrate the potential we all have for self-betrayal; acting toward others in ways incongruent with what we know to be ethical and proper. Once embarking on the path of self-betrayal, the authors suggest the resulting actions and responses of both parties tend to be self-fulfilling resulting in ever increasing frustration, guilt and justification. Much like a live microphone placed in front of its own speaker, an emotional loop or limbic resonance (Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee, 2002, p. 48) develops, amplifying previously unnoticed static into ear-piercing and unavoidable problems. Over time, one’s perspective becomes distorted; viewing people and circumstances through a tinted lens. Paul describes this human disorder as a man attempting to view the world through the reflection of a dirty mirror (1 Corinthians 13:12). Therefore, his actions, products of this blurred reality, are confused; providing others with the justification for responding out of their own distorted reality. Each party offers the other every reason to continue mistrusting and misinterpreting one another. A Biblical Example of Self-Deception Although the book advocates...
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...In our everyday life, we struggle or commit ourselves to self-deception. For instance, a long-time friend of mine called to mention that she has been struggling financially for some time now. This circumstance will not have anything to do with her job; in fact, she is exceptionally paid as a physical therapist. But, having been married to a person five years her junior, who invariably wanted to get the novel craze in town. Given that she is the one with better financial capability, would indulge her husband’s whims to her fiscal defeat. She has her eyes peeled that she should handle her finances well, but she insists on rationalizing out with me that she just wanted her husband to be happy. As a good friend, I have never failed to warn...
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...Classic self-deception: this is the paradoxical situation where a person can both believe and not believe some fact simultaneously. Good examples of this would include the addicts and pathological types. The drug addict believes that he or she can break the habit any time he or she wishes; the cigarette addict believes that cigarettes are not dangerous to his or her health; the gambling addict believes that a monumental win is just around the corner; the pedophile doesn’t believe his actions will harm the child. All of these cases could be considered to be exemplars of self-delusion where the person both knows that his or her actions will lead to some unwanted consequences but chooses to ignore that knowledge. In these cases it would appear that the addiction overcomes or negates the truth but instead substitutes its own rules where the gratification received from the addiction leads to irrational action. Addictions are usually accompanied by changes in the chemistry of the brain. (reference) The neuroreceptor populations are abnormal. Consequently, it could be argued then that the addict is not self-deceived but simply unable to make rational decisions owing to a brain malfunction even though it might have been self induced. The pathological self-deceiver is fortunately reasonably rare. These people believe that they are someone else. In Cotard’s syndrome a person believes at the same time that dead people are motionless and speechless, that he can move and talk, and that...
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...As previously mentioned, the point of this essay is to bring together multiple topics, under the umbrella of self-deception, in an attempt to construct a plausible understanding of this subject. Through the use of three subtopics – motivations, forms, and advantages/disadvantages – readers are able to grasp the concept of self-deception with clarity. Within the subtopic of motivation, I explain that there are two forms of motivation toward how and why people will engage in self-deception; there must be an intent and a desire to deceive oneself and more often than not this is done through combination rather than as separate processes. I also outlined the unique observation, brought forth by Nelkin (2002), that argues the possibility of bias...
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...When considering other people we work with as objects, we lose sight of our goals because we are only considering ourselves. This is the message the authors at The Arbinger Institute are trying to convey in their book, Leadership and Self-Deception. The book is not written as a manual on leadership, rather a story of one leader learning the meaning of self-deception. As we, the readers, learn through the training program Tom Callum is currently undergoing, we all are victims of self-deception. The book explains that self-deception is merely passing through moments when we observe the needs of other and let them pass without acting on them. This self-deception breed ill feelings toward the other person in order to justify our own actions. This area of self-deception is what the author refers to as “the box”. The book is an easy read because the author or authors use a story-telling approach to the topic of self-deception. Instead of saying we deceive ourselves, the authors used clear examples to illustrate their meanings. I found this to be appealing because the topic of their book is a bit vague when only hearing the main points of self-deception. By providing a story and stories with in the story, the authors clearly convey their point which makes understanding it much easier. The authors believe that productivity in an organizational and interpersonal relationship setting can be directly impeded by our unwillingness to view other people as people. The author points...
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...Leadership and Self-deception Getting Out of The Box Leadership and self-deception is a book written by the Arbinger Institute that explains to us how we as people can get stuck in a place or problem known as being “Inside the Box”. We can be stuck “Inside the Box” whether it is in our personal lives toward family members and friends or whether it is at work toward our Boss and other co-workers. Through a cleverly concocted story the author explains how we are either “Inside the Box” or “Outside the Box” and how to stay out of the box once we enter it. The story starts out telling us of a man named Ted who is impressed with a company called Zagrum and he would love to work for them and after multiple interviews and weeks of waiting he finally hears back and finds out that he gets the job. One of Teds first major meetings is with his soon to be boss Bud who asks him to meet him for a meeting that is seemingly so secret that nobody talks to him about it or gives any hints to what it is even about. Everyone seems to know what is going on except Ted. With much anticipation and waiting Ted is led to Buds office and waits nervously for his arrival. When Bud finally gets there he then informs Ted that “He has a problem” and while Ted wonders what that is Bud will soon enthusiastically explain the meaning of his problem and go into more specifics and detail that I’m sure Ted would care for or even expect. As Bud and Ted talk Bud is asking all sorts of seemingly strange and at times...
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...Who are you? The story “Where are you going; Where have you been?” by Joyce Carol Oates is a popular story among the younger college audience. It is without a doubt considered a classis, as it has stood the test of time and been passed down for almost 50 years since its original publication. Not only is it a marvel because of its lengthy existence in schools around the country, but also because of the lessons that it teaches and how they can still relate to people in today’s changed society. Miraculously, different readers can find different meanings whilst reading the same story, however it is most certain that the moral of the story is based around deception. First of all, Connie was a self-absorbed 15-year old girl that - without a doubt - believed she was beautiful. Her mother would often scold her for spending so much time being distracted by her own looks, but in Connie’s eyes, “[H]er [mothers] looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie.” (389). It was apparent that Connie knew she was beautiful and her life was strung around it. Her room being a mess and her priorities even messier; the relationship between her and her mother was not as strong as it should have been. In spite of this, she turned to her friends for an outlet. A few times a week, Connie would meet up with her friends to escape her life of boredom and what she thought was a sense of jealousy at home. Instead of going to the movies like they said, they would lie and go to the local diner...
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...pill, potion or procedure but not to it's pharmacodynamic or specific properties" (Wolf, 1959. Cited by H.Brody, 1980). To date, the placebo has played a dynamic role throughout the history and development of medicine. Substances with no perceivable pharmacological benefit such as spiders, crocodile dung and human excrement have been prescribed up until the beginning of modern scientific medicine to treat various maladies. Obviously each of these substances induced a `Placebo Effect' in order to achieve the desired result as the treatment itself had no real medical value. However, as the medical sciences developed further, the incredible power of the placebo effect was anything but discredited - the power of the human mind in it's self-healing was deemed by clinicians as `voluminous'. It is quite profound, for instance, how a patient will commonly react much better when they are administered with a placebogenic injection as opposed to a lesser response from a tablet or capsule. This infers that the reaction received will vary in proportion to how potent the patient feels their treatment really is; obviously with the injection seeming to be the most potent agent. It is in conjunction with these hypotheses that the therapeutic sciences such as psychotherapy are formulated. It is also through the application of various forms of these `insight therapies' (communication therapy) that the use of the placebo effect becomes evident in real-life medicine and pharmacy. ...
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...system and keeps our brains constantly at work to weed out the information that is correct from the information that is false. Advertisements, our parents, our children, friends, and siblings, those who we have more intimate relationships with, and even ourselves, deceive us, just as we are deceitful to them. There are many degrees to lying, varying from little white lies, to blatant deception and perjury. The motives and desired outcomes of those who lie vary greatly from person to person, as well as the degree to which they lie. Most people would agree that there are times when it is acceptable to tell white lies or even a bigger lie for the greater good, if the truth is not something of importance. I will discuss several facets of deception. To start, I will describe several types of lies and give definitions and examples of them. Then, I will talk about some facts about the frequency at which we are deceptive on an average day, and situations in which we generally increase or decrease how deceptive we are. Next, I will discuss why lies are prevalent in relationships, and how deception creates friction in the workplace. After that, I will talk about how we deceive ourselves, and why, what motivates us to lie and then I will give some arguments about the possibility of detecting when someone is lying and if you can distinguish their lies from the truth. Lastly, I will discuss several disorders that may cause one to lie, whether it is purposefully or not, and how that...
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...The film adaptation of Twelfth Night is a light hearted comedy of love, exuberance, drunkenness, deception and mistaken identity. According to Stephen Hitching “...twelfth nights plot is delightfully absured, the acting brilliant and the directing superb. The contrast between the proud and proper Malovlio and the drunken, stupor of Sir Toby Belch creates much laughter along; with the switch from the original script where the Duke opens the play to the sound of Fest’s voice certainly makes the film adaptation a riveting experience. It is the sort of comedy you can watch over and over again. Both Nunn and Shakespeare displayed effective use of technique through the use of non-verbal elements such as costuming and verbal elements such as language, respectively .Shakespeare’s mastery of imagery and Nunn’s use of visual and auditory appeal reinforce the timelessness of themes such as Love and Deception. Costuming is the vehicle through which the theme of deception is revealed. Trevor Nunn’s interpretation of disguise gave the audience a sense of understanding of his idea into the cross dressing process by using Visual Imagery which is seen through the Decepetor herself Viola .She presented herself as man or by her transformation name ‘Cesario’ by getting rid of her feminine garments, cutting her hair, banding her breast, putting on trousers with suspenders, a white shirt and jacket accessorising the complete look with a moustache. However with Viola developing a friendship...
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...One of the main ideas in the Shakespearian play Macbeth is deception, which is not only practiced by the villains but by other characters as well who have to rely on this at the time of disorder and distrust. However, Malcolm’s deception in testing Macduff’s loyalty and in deceiving Macbeth about the number of his troops is far less crucial as the central motif of the play, for it is the deception conducted by both Macbeth and Lady Macbeth that grapples the interest of the audience with its resounding morals about human nature. It is one thing to be deceived by another person and quite another to “fool yourself” by engaging in self-deception. Of all forms of deception, I think it can be argued that self-deception is perhaps the worst. In the words of Bemos Thenes, “Nothing is easier than self-deceit for what man wishes he also believes to be true.” Self-deception is a human weakness. It means that even though something maybe wrong and untrue if an individual believes it enough it will come to pass. No matter what someone may say, it is hard to change ones opinion because that is what the person truly believes. This is portrayed in William Shakespeare’s play, Macbeth, through the actions of various characters. Shakespeare clearly shows the idea of self-deception through their actions and how this self-deception leads to moral disorder. Deception is introduced to the play right from the beginning when the three witches meet to talk, the mood being nothing is quite as it seems...
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...How does Goldsmith use disguise and deception to create comic situations in ‘She Stoops to Conquer’? To what extent can we sympathise with the victims of deceit? In ‘She Stoops to Conquer’; Goldsmith uses disguise and deception in order to create comic situations which arise via the use of dramatic irony. Amusement is often gained as a result of the misfortune at others, as they are deceived. There are therefore, victims of deceit within the play, but as they are often victims of their own arrogance, it is difficult to sympathise with the victims in most cases. In order for the disguise and deception to be believable from the audience’s point of view, Goldsmith uses dialogues between the characters to insert small hints to make credible the acts of disguise and deception. The first use of this seen in the first scene of the first act, where Mrs Hardcastle suggests that their house ‘looks for all the world like an inn.’ This helps to justify the Marlow and Hastings believing that the Hardcastles house is an inn. Comedy arises from this, as due to the fact that Marlow and Hastings Believe Hardcastle’s house to be an inn, when conversing with Him they treat him like an innkeeper of a lower class than them. This is amusing, as the audience knows that he is the man whose daughter Marlow wishes to court, and Marlow is positively rude to him. The first time this is seen to happen is when Marlow and Hasting arrive at Hardcastle’s house, or to their knowledge, an Inn (Dramatic irony...
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...the victims of deception, and because they’ve been deceived is the reason they act in the ways that they do. Even though the central deception is directed against Claudio in an attempt to destroy his relationship with Hero, it is the deception pertaining to Beatrice and Benedick which is the play's main focus. Almost every character in the play at some point has to make interpretations from what he or she sees, has been told or overheard. At the same time, nearly every character in the play at some point plays a part of consciously pretending to be what they are not. (Act I, Scene I) ”Thou wilt be like a lover presently and tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, and I will break with her and with her father, and thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?” Here is when Don Pedro tries to put a spin on words making it sound like if Claudio really wants to be with Hero, they should first trick her into believing that Don Pedro is actually Claudio. They go on forward with the idea and as Don Pedro is swooning Hero with his words and charm at the masked ball and Claudio is actually eavesdropping near-by trying to make sure everything is going according to plan. Deception is one of the focal themes throughout the play which grows out of the love game. Deceit is not evil in nature; it can be used for the purpose good or bad outcomes. “In Much Ado About Nothing” the deception of Beatrice and...
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