...Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research CUON506-B13 September 25, 2011 Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research is an article that focuses on the importance of comparing and contrasting interpersonal forgiveness as well as intrapersonal forgiveness. Not only does this article emphasizes the definitions and classifications of self-forgiveness, but also identifies the emotional and social cognitive determents, the limitations and implications self-forgiveness may trigger. Julie Hall and Frank Fincham composed this article with great detail and research to analyze the importance of self-forgiveness and examining the conventional issues that must be directed when considering the suitability of self-forgiveness. This article evaluates the components of self-forgiveness through a model that outlines its implications through research. Guilt, shame, attributions, conciliatory behavior, perceived forgiveness from victim or higher power, and severities of the offense are some of the many processes that constitute self-forgiveness. These processes causes the offender or the offended to account to more positive reprimands and fewer ongoing negative reprimands of the transgression than do offenders who have not forgiven themselves. Hall and Fincham explain that three levels of self-forgiveness and self-respect must ensue to involve restoration. First, self-forgiveness requires an objective fault or wrongdoing; second, negative feelings triggered...
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...William Kennedy delves into the concept of forgiveness in the forms of both giving and receiving. He does this through the story of Francis Phelan, a homeless man living on the streets of Albany. Kennedy follows the journey of Francis as he embarks on his quest of expiation and attempts to square-up with all that he has cowered from over the past twenty two years. Despite his blessings of uncanny forgiveness from his wife Annie, his sons Gerald and Billy, his daughter Peg, and his life partner Helen, Francis...
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...Does rumination hinder forgiveness in the context of an interpersonal transgression? Forgiveness theory has been widely researched in the social psychology arena in recent years. The role of rumination in forgiveness has received much attention, with several important studies by prominent researchers attempting to measure its effect. A dominant theoretical perspective on the relationship between rumination and forgiveness in the literature suggests that rumination is detrimental to forgiveness, and that changes in rumination are the antecedent to changes in forgiveness. This paper outlines the prevailing theoretical perspectives on this relationship and presents a critical analysis of a selection of influential studies and their conclusions. An alternative theoretical perspective is introduced and some limitations of the current studies, as well as suggestions for further research, are made. In order to understand the relationship between rumination and forgiveness, these terms need to be defined. Whilst no single agreed upon definition exists, there are a set of common elements that underlie these constructs. Rumination can be broadly described as a cognitive process involving conscious repetitive thoughts which revolve around a common theme, and are present even in the absence of immediate environmental demands requiring those thoughts (Martin & Tesser, 1996). Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco and Lyubomirsky (2008) conceptualise rumination as a way of responding to distress involving...
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...Abstract The nature of forgiveness is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. After experiencing organizational damage, trauma, or injustice, one challenge facing leaders is to help the organization heal, restore positive energy, and enhance resiliency. Fostering forgiveness is one effective mechanism for achieving those outcomes. This paper illustrates how justice and forgiveness was analyzed within my workforce and implications established to eliminate the issue from reoccurring. Primary focus will be on interpreting the problem from the perspective of self-responsibility. Keywords: workplace, justice, forgiveness, self-responsibility, accountability, ownership. Justice and Forgiveness in the Workplace Socialization and positive chemistry amongst individuals of any given company is desired yet not always attained. Having a work environment in where most individuals get along not only makes it a suitable environment to work in but also an enjoyable one to be a part of. However, in order to portray such healthy environment one must first analyze the individuals that make up such environment and ask are they here for the betterment of the company or are they just here for a paycheck? This paper discusses the importance of self-responsibility and exemplifies the power of justice and forgiveness. Issue at Hand Within the past, couple months my company had been going through many unforeseen changes. Due to the unsolicited changes, employees’ morale and spirits had...
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...psychology and spirituality including impacts of such in our daily lives both personally and professionally. According to McMinn (2011) there are three essential categories that must be considered within counseling; psychology, theology, and spirituality. To incorporate the three categories, the book down into further sections including prayer, scripture, sin, confession, forgiveness, and redemption including “what if” sections with descriptions of circumstances and the corresponding results, what works and what doesn’t within the sessions. By beginning with an active and healthy prayer life personally, the counselor is able to pray for the client both inside of and outside of the counseling sessions. McMinn (2011) discusses the importance of ethical issues of using prayer which is the source of growth in spiritual lives, promoting a relationship with God rather than promoting health. According to McMinn (2011) prayer must only be used after consent given and the potential effects considered as some forms of prayer may be detrimental to the client. Scripture use within counseling can be considered a self-help book enabling personality and behavioral changes. McMinn (2011) discusses the use of Scripture to support many forms of cognitive therapy including rational-emotive therapy (RET). These theories are based on what one thinks which is then supported by Bible Scripture and stories. Respect for the interpretation of others must be remembered with the use of Scripture...
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...up for trash. While at the hospital, he meets a dying Nazi soldier, by the name of Karl. He listens to his story about what he has done to Jews, the people he’s killed, and his mother. They later have a unique connection with each other. Although, when he’s done telling his story, he asks Wiesenthal for forgiveness and ends up passing away. Wiesenthal remains silent, but later questions himself about his experience whether or not he should have accepted his apology. If I were in his situation, I would have not remained silent and forgave the Nazi soldier because he was not promoting any action of hate, rather than forgiveness, my moral values, and my own experiences. A writer that does not reflect my point of view is Herbert Marcuse. Marcuse states that Wiesenthal should not have forgiven the soldier because it perpetuates the crime. I do not agree with his view completely because in this case, the entire government was promoting evil and majority of people were brainwashed. Also Karl was a growing up child and comprehended the propaganda from a very early age. He was not trying to promote any type of war, but rather forgiveness. For example, when he had asked for forgiveness, Wiesenthal had second thoughts after he had remained silent. “Had a doctor entered the room with a miracle drug that would have restored this young man to full vigor, would he have remained weighed down with guilt? And had the German Army then offered him whatever was the Nazi equivalent to a Purple Heart...
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...1-1-2002 A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Lisa Edwards Marquette University, lisa.edwards@marquette.edu Regina H. Lapp-Rincker University of Kansas Main Campus Jeana L. Magyar-Moe University of Kansas Main Campus Jason D. Rehfeldt University of Kansas Main Campus Jamie A. Ryder University of Kansas Main Campus See next page for additional authors Originally published in Pastoral Psychology, Volume 50, No. 3 (January 2002), online at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1023/A:1012940402668 Authors Lisa Edwards, Regina H. Lapp-Rincker, Jeana L. Magyar-Moe, Jason D. Rehfeldt, Jamie A. Ryder, Jill C. Brown, and Shane J. Lopez This article is available at e-Publications@Marquette: http://epublications.marquette.edu/edu_fac/44 1 Edwards, Lapp-Rincker, Magyar-Moe, Rehfeldt, Ryder, Brown & Lopez A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Authors: Lisa M. Edwards,1,2 Regina H. Lapp-Rincker,1 Jeana L. Magyar-Moe,1 Jason D. Rehfeldt,1 Jamie A. Ryder,1 Jill C. Brown,1 and Shane J. Lopez1 Religious faith and beliefs appear to play an important role in the lives of many individuals and are the topic of much research. The present study investigated the relationship between religious faith and forgiveness in a sample (n = 196) of college students. Students were asked to complete the Heartland Forgiveness Scale and the Santa Clara Strength of Religious Faith Questionnaire...
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...Spouse who has been unfaithful to us B. These people owe us. 1. Apology 2. Money 3. Second chance 4. Explanation 5. Thank you 6. Childhood 7. Marriage * Lynn Anderson, preacher in Texas, tells how ugly things became when his daughter inlaw was having a nasty and popular affair in town. He said that he would carry a knife with him in hoping to see the man who tried to steal her from his son. C. What are we going to say to these people? 1. Important question? Do we really mean it when we say… “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” Matthew 18:21-22 1. Do you think Peter had someone in mind? 2. Was he trying to be self-righteous? (Forgive 3 times after that you were justified) I) THE DIFFICULTY OF FORGIVENESS 1. What is forgiveness? a. Giving up my right to retaliate and agreeing to live with the consequences of others wrongs. b. Why is this so hard for us to do? 2. This violates human nature c. We want to see justice, we want the score evened d. If someone hurts us then they should be hurt in return * Jeannie Brooks was a student in dental school. A man hits her car and does nothing about it. 10 years later he comes to her as a patient in her office. She remembered he didn’t. she told him to have a seat and this...
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...The paradox of forgiveness is one that has been debated by philosophers for centuries. In a sense, by asking someone for forgiveness you are influencing their ability to forgive you for themselves. Forgiveness starts within the self, because of some outside force or action. Therefore, the desire to forgive begins in one’s self. By allowing an outside force (i.e. someone asking for forgiveness) to nudge you towards needing to forgive, your personal and moral desires to forgive are affected. By asking for forgiveness, you are taking the right away for someone’s forgiveness to be truly their own forgiveness. However, it is their forgiveness that you desire. This fascinating paradox is one that has puzzled the minds of many. But what about the...
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...childhood within an alcoholic father. However, these two writers are separated from each other about their feeling toward their family: Senna has child anger to her broken family while Walls has forgiven her careless parents. This anger leads Senna to write this book that she explored her father’s past within her self-discovery. However, Walls writes about her past by telling about her memories of childhood without seeking self-exploration; instead she shows how forgiveness played an important role in her relationship with her parents. Senna’s was a daughter of bi-racial couple who has very different backgrounds. Her parents divorced when she was a young child. Her troubled past drives her to investigate both sides of her family, particularly her paternal line. She says, “I thought of what was not there, the other half of me, my father’s side, which I knew nothing about” (13). Her father’s background is multiracial and filled with oral stories with unanswered questions. Because of this, she was challenged to discover her father’s origins and to see what they were all about so she would be able to discover her own identity within his lineage. In fact, it was a self-discovery for her with convoluted past that was filled with pain and gaping holes that illuminates her own childhood. Through this process she aims to understand her difficult father, failure marriage of their parents and the reason of her anger toward them. She was trying to find an answer to her questions: can...
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...The power of forgiveness In order for people to be happy and content, they must have inner peace. Lack of inner peace results in emotional disturbance, fear, anxiety, distrust and a life filled with restlessness and uncertainty. In order for people to be forgiven, they must first learn to forgive themselves. Self- forgiveness removes any obstacles caused by self- criticism and in return provides love, inner peace and happiness. Forgiving oneself does not erase past experiences, it just creates new ways to remember them. The memories from the past can be transformed into hope in the future. The bible makes no mention as to what Jesus looks like. In the movie Bella, Jose’s character bears a striking resemblance to many modern-day images of Jesus. He is an ordinary looking man; tall and lean with long flowing dark hair and beard, and wears a chef's jacket that favors a shroud. What is so remarkable about his character is his attitude and demeanor. He is non-judgmental, compassionate, empathic and understanding to Nina’s situation. At no point did he offer her any advice when she made the decision to have an abortion. Instead, he was supportive and lent her a shoulder to cry on. Because of his character, Nina could be able to trust again which in turn led to her giving birth to her daughter. Helping Nina was an act of atonement for Jose. For the past four years, he has struggled with the guilt of accidentally causing the death to a child. It is evident that he is remorseful...
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...ENABLING FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION IN FAMILY THERAPY Interpersonal conflicts are almost inevitable within families. The closeness and intensity of family relationships along with differences among family members in knowledge, desires, values, abilities, etc., account for much of this turmoil. Family members are often deeply hurt in the course of their conflicts and sometimes there is a significant breach of trust, Occasionally a family member will consider a certain offence unforgivable and will not seek reconciliation. Usually, however, family members try to recover a sense of personal and relationship wellbeing by endeavoring to forgive and reconcile. This can be a long and arduous process. Therapists are often consulted to facilitate such healing. My purpose in writing this paper is to share my understanding of some of the complexities involved. The perspective that I adopt is a social constructionist or ‘bringforthist’ stance. I assume that through caring conversation, it. is possible to bring forth preferred ways of thinking and interacting that can lead to forgiveness and reconciliation. MUTUAL HURTS The duration and effects of any particular conflict between family members depends on how differences are managed in the nuances of ongoing family interaction: Conflicts vary from brief disagreements that are hardly noticeable, to extremely destructive emotional and physical battles that last for years. During any major episode of conflict, all parties involved tend...
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...brief synopsis of a system that could be integrated into churches to teach higher levels of forgiveness. It further explains the reasoning for the need of forgiveness due to all of the benefits that having a forgiving character can bring. Those who forgive more easily have a tendency to present with reductions in anger, depression, anxiety, grief, PTSD, and stress. They also have higher levels of self-esteem, hope, and positive attitudes. Even though the idea of forgiveness has been taught from early civilizations and documented in the pages of the Hebrew Bible and New Testament, the benefits of forgiveness have not been explored until approximately twenty years ago. It was not until 1984 when social scientist, Smedes and again in 1990 Worthington and DiBlasio sought to explore these possible benefits and to develop models of forgiveness (Magnuson & Enright, 2008). The two most popular models are Enright's process model and Worthington's REACH model. Enright's model which has four basic steps; the first is to begin to uncover the hurt or shame caused by the offense; the second step is to purposefully decide to forgive, the third step is to work towards forgiveness. One must begin to develop empathy for their offender. Not for the purpose of justifying their offense but to better understand why they acted in such a manner. The fourth and final step is to receive the healing of forgiveness. At this stage one learns to let the pain go and not to dwell on the incident. The second...
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...see it clearly” (158). “The Willpower Instinct” by author Kelly McGonigal analyzes the different willpower challenges them being I Will, I Won't, and I Want. These three main willpower challenges will show the determination of how much progress we have to fulfill our goals along with taking self control. My willpower challenge is to be organized with my time management. To be more specific, I would like to stop procrastination and improve the quality of my work. The belief in one's self doubt and criticism will not help encourage them to reach toward their future accomplishments. The two minds that we have tend to not compromise with each other on what decision to make so we battle with ourselves giving in to temptation. Any progress to our goal is successful as long as we keep up with our perseverance and keep following the right path to a happy future. Receiving guidance and encouragement to motivate a person will make them feel like they have a back bone there for support. We should not remember our simple mistakes but to demolish them with a new encounterment if it occurs. Making wise decisions so our future selves won't receive the consequences and responsibilities. Self forgiveness is the key to guide us to let go of the guilty setbacks from the past and the underestimation of the present and future. The process to any ambition takes dedication and commitment to complete its journey. Anyone can have the same intention but I think that everyone has different boundaries...
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...In a perfect Utopia world, humans are born without flaws and live in a perfect world. How awesome would it be to live in a place where no hurt is present and forgiveness is unnecessary? Sounds like Heaven right? However, the act to forgive is one of the most challenging aspects of human life. It is difficult to display the act of forgiveness, especially when pain and pride is at the center of one’s heart. Often times, this act can be taken as weakness rather than strength. The Merriam- Webster definition for forgive is “to stop feeling angry or resentful toward an individual for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. This Journal Article Review will discuss intervention studies on forgiveness and obtain the following sections: summary, reflection, and application. It will also highlight forgiveness case studies and define forgiveness according to findings within the research analysis. The quote “Forgive, but never forget” is an oxymoron...
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