...Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay: Thanh , thank you for submitting your assignment for review. I am Ann B., your writing tutor. First, I want to point out a strength I noted when I read your paper. This sentence in the introduction presents a question and then answers it: College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The question sets up the argument nicely for the reader! Now let’s move on to some areas that need revision. Content Development: A direct quotation like this one is not a good topic or first sentence: McCourt states “The athletes are ones who put in hours of practice and training” ( Evan Rosenfeld and Scarlett McCourt). Your audience may not understand why this quoted passage is important. The topic sentence should present a main point about athletes being paid in your own words. The first point is the hectic schedule. Can you write a topic sentence that introduces this point? I note that the second body paragraph does have a topic sentence introducing a point from the thesis in your own words: Another reason to why college athletes should get paid is they need money for expenses...
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...Dominick Cima English 102 Sec. 401 31 January 2015 Argument Essay Paid to Play? Picture Morgantown on a warm Saturday in August. The streets are buzzing with students and families, and nothing but blue and gold tailgates for as far as the eye can see. This is also the case for every other college in the country. College football has become increasingly more popular over the past few years. It has even got to the point that players and coaches have raised the idea that players should be paid. This essay will focus mainly on collegiate football players and whether or not they should be payed. I used to play football in college and I, for one, do not think players should be paid. I believe that, if they were to pay players, the money should be used to benefit the their education in the form of scholarships. Also paying athletes will individualize the sports, much like how professional sports are now. Lastly, paying all athletes would cost far too much for the NCAA. Scholarships as Currency If college athletes were to be paid, it should be in the form of scholarships. From my own experience colleges have switched from the traditional four year scholarship, to one year grants. This is where the argument first stems from. A four year scholarship guarantees the athlete financial support throughout their four year stay at the institution. It covers all the basic finances of a college student such as tuition, fees, and room and board(Mitchell). On the other...
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...51 16 April 2015 Argument Essay College Athletes While in college being an athlete requires a great deal of additional work on top of being a student. A student makes certain sacrifices and works hard to play a sport he or she loves to play. Being able to play a sport a person may love or have a passion for while attending school is rewarding is several ways. Being an athlete in college already has a lot of advantages therefore college athletes should not be paid. Playing a sport in college is not considered a profession. Thus, the idea of paying an athlete to play while in college is illogical. First, if the athletes start getting paid they might start getting comfortable and unmotivated. Many college athletes already do not make it to the next step and become professionals. Even if it is only little money he or she might start to not want to work harder because he or she might become arrogant because he or she is getting paid. Also, a lot of the times money becomes relevant in a situation it becomes corrupt. All athletes know the choice to be an athlete comes with additional work and sacrifices. Athletes that play for a university most likely received a scholarship. Some athletes may have even received a full ride scholarship with room and board and other benefits. Certainly, having the honor to represent his or her school and getting a free education is rewarding alone. Not to mention at most universities athletes have priority when signing...
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...Two Sided Essay: Should College Athletes be Paid or not If the great Kansas basketball coach, Bill Self, can completely change his whole prospective on the idea of college athletes being paid, we all can! Self once stated that “[college athletics has] always [been] big business; now it's huge business. And when you're sending players from the West Coast to East Coast to play sports, to miss more classes, and the schools benefit from that financially, why shouldn't the people that are responsible for the business, and that would be the student athletes," (Kansas). At most colleges, college athletes are a key source of income, and they attract students to their institutions. Universities depend on their athletes to produce and maintain the popularity of their school's name. College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The National Collegiate Athletic Association, NCAA, says that it is trying to protect the athletes from "exploitation by professional and commercial enterprises" (United). Many argue that student athletes should not be paid because they are receiving an essentially free education through a scholarship. These people feel that the promise of their education being paid for is enough for the college athletes. They reason that with free tuition, room, board, books, and fees, there are no other factorable costs that could significantly harm ones packets. However, on the opposite side of the issue, some...
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...English 1A Essay 3 Professor Cay Strode 4 April 2016 Paying College Athletes Millions of fans gather around to watch their favorite college team or player from the first game to the championship. Whether the sport is basketball football or hockey, college teams are love to compete against each other and take it very seriously. However, this of course comes with certain issues, particularly when it comes to the question whether college athletes should be paid for their performance. College athletic programs are making millions, so why shouldn’t they convinced their school to pay their athletes. Also, it being a business opportunity benefiting the coaches, the amount of games that team wins, and the student athletes. Meanwhile, people who opposed it say that it is harmful and destructive for the athlete’s. They believe it harms the education part of being the student athlete, taking the money out of education, and paying them for just their performance is not setting a positive example. I find confusing that sometimes that college athlete doesn’t have a saying on if they should get paid for their performance, whether or not they’re good or bad. This issue is important to understand from all sides because it affects education, problems with payment, the university, the NCAA and the athletic department. Both sides care about the performance of college athletes, the education, but the approach of being a business opportunity really has both sides fighting. Paying college athletes...
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...Smith, Janae Christopher Shaw English 105 20 July 2015 Downside of College Sport College athletics have been a part of the university system for many years. An unfortunate by-product of college athletics has been the exploitation of student-athletes. This paper will discuss the disappointing reasons in which student-athletes have been exploited and why reforms are needed in college athletics. Which explores the effect of money on college sports programs and the way in which college sports programs can distract everyone from academics. It will discuss some of the methods the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) has employed in an attempt to cure this exploitation. This will fairly compensate student-athletes for their work while preserving the amateur nature of college athletics. It will show 3 reason why it is most disappointing, and about how college sports operate. One thing that disappointing about college sport is that they don’t get pay for playing their sport. Dan Zirin believe that colleges needs to start giving back to the athletes who make the money for the colleges. The athletes are the one who bring in the huge profits to their schools but they don’t receive nothing in return. I think the athletes that play the sport should get a little of money because there working hard for their team to won and bringing money to the schools. Even though they have media attention and promotional commercials many people don’t know that they player aren’t getting...
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...Tech Community College Fort Wayne, Indiana 46835 Dear Professor Royce- I am writing this cover letter to you as a part of the Informative essay assignment for English 111. I choose to write about the current debate over whether college athletes should be paid for their time and effort while playing their chosen sport at colleges and universities across America. I received only one peer review on Blackboard, and was underwhelmed by the response that I received. Jairret Boyce was the only classmate that responded to my essay, and in his peer review, he merely agreed that I did everything well. This was not very helpful in the completion of my final draft for this assignment. The only helpful feedback that I received was from you, with the notes that you made on my first draft, with the most important information being that my thesis statement would not work because I presented it in the form of a question. I made the proper changes to my thesis statement to make sure that it shows the two different sides to the debate that I writing about to inform my audience. After receiving the grade for my essay in writing project two, I wanted to make sure that I did a better job with my Works Cited page. I went to the library, and was shown Noodle tools, and made sure to use that resource to make sure I completed a quality Works Cited page for this assignment. I am looking forward to completing Writing Project four, as I have spent three weeks working on this essay, and have been...
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...Should College Athletes be paid? What really is the true definition of an amateur? The true definition is a person who engages in a pursuit, especially a sport, on an unpaid basis. If this is the true definition then why are the schools paying their athletes to come and help bring the attention there school. I believe if this is going to happen, they need to do it equally and give the athletes what they are deserving of. Many athletes are giving their health and stability to help make their colleges revenue. I believe the only thing that is standing against this becoming the future instead of just an idea is the men at the corrupted NCAA (National College Athletic Association). I think the NCAA and the athletic boards throughout the United States are corrupt and are money hungry. However, not every collegiate sports bring in the revenue such as football and basketball do for their universities. So if college athletes were ever to be paid it would be because of these sports. Mostly, as the U.S. News reports that the NCAA brings in more than 1 billion dollars from the NCAA Men’s and Women’s basketball tournaments (U.S. News), where does the money go for the athletes who bring them such wealth? It ends up into to the hands of the men and women that have enough money than they can handle. Which is not setting good examples for their athletes that they are in charge of. If they NCAA truly wants the amateurism to stick throughout time and not have to pay their athletes,...
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...Nick Coleman Professor Todd Aldridge ENGL 1110 29 November 2015 Revision: Essay 2 - Paying of College Athletes Several years ago, the National Collegiate Athletic Association, the NCAA, started out as a young business with a couple colleges under their helm, and today they have grown into an $11 billion industry tasked with the controversial decision of sharing their wealth with the college athletes that made them relevant. Should college athletes get paid is what it usually all boils down to. This burning question has been canvassed various times over the turn of the century with several underlying concerns for the athlete’s futures and also their safety. Opponents of paying college athletes contend that the scholarships said athletes received to their institutions of higher learning should be more than enough. Once a university extends a scholarship to an athlete, that athlete becomes property of that university. With that being said, once on campus, they become “student athletes,” a term coined by the NCAA to justify their exploitation of the athletes that made the infamous organization relevant, and also full time workers as they spend on average an excess of more than forty hours a week dedicated to their respective sports. In a survey conducted internally by the NCAA, it was discovered that athletes competing in more than a half a dozen sports indicated that they too, are putting in the equivalent of full time worksheets, but don’t receive the benefits that regular...
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...Many individuals believe that proposal essays are written to convince readers that certain problems exist. Others feel that they are written to allow the reader to view a particular problem in an alternative way. However, proposals are created to address problems and try to provide solutions, while creating emotional responses within the reader. In Why Not a Football Degree?, written by William F. Shugart II, there are many solutions to the specific problem, such as, specific degree programs, lengthening deadlines, and offering other ways to earn payment. Shugart inserts the idea that many violations occur with the rules established by the NCAA, which is also known as The National Collegiate Athlete Association. In order to help reduce the...
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...money for other necessities. You did not save enough money in high school and your family does not have money to give you. You are a college athlete. Athletic boosters tempt the athletes with illegal benefits because most do not have money for their own use. The NCAA makes millions of dollars off a college athlete’s performance. The NCAA is a not-for-profit agency that does not operate like one. If college athletes received a yearly stipend from the NCAA, then they might not be lured to take illegal benefits and would have spending money to enjoy the college life experience and pay for needed college items, such as a computer or supplies. For those reasons, college athletes should be paid by the NCAA for the services they provide to their schools. Critics against student athletes being paid believe in the benefits of the athletic scholarship. However, past athletes received improper benefits, financial and otherwise. Reggie Bush accepted improper benefits when he played football for University of Sothern California. According to the article, “Paying College Athletes,” “…current NFL star Reggie Bush-had violated its amateurism rules when his family moved into an expensive home owned by a local businessman with whom Bush and his family had had business dealings related to Bush’s football career” (Paying College Athletes par. 7). Reggie Bush and his family collected an excess of $290,000 from sports agent Lloyd Lake. Lake sued Bush and his family to be...
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...Logical Argument Essay: Paying College Athletes College athletes juggle busy academic in addition to practice schedules throughout their week. Team sports like basketball and football, as well as individual sports, are extremely popular worldwide, especially in the United States. Pro athletes have statuses similar to Hollywood celebrities, and wages that match. However, no matter how well they currently play, all of them once were amateurs. In this perspective, college athletes are not much different from professionals, yet college athletes have never been financially compensated for their efforts in sports. The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) prohibits college athletes to be monetarily compensated for their effort. College athletes should be fiscally compensated for a number of reasons. Playing a college sport is like a full time job, except for no financial benefits. A typical 1st division college football player trains approximately 43 hours per week. To put that into perspective, a typical American works 40 hours per week. In addition to the 40+ hours per week of training, college athletes also need to dedicate time to studying. With an intense schedule like this, college athletes are left with no time to make a living. Additionally, NCAA tournament rules often require college athletes to skip classes in favor of nationally televised games that bring in revenue, going to the NCAA, not the athlete who is possibly sacrificing their grades. Based...
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...Growing up with Asian parents, it was not unusual for me to skip ballet class if I did not finish my homework. Quite the contrary, most Americans today glorify athletes, while nerds cower in the corner. In an excerpt from Leonid Fridman’s essay titled, “America Needs Its Nerds,” Fridman shows readers why Americans should not look down on nerds by utilizing writing tools to develop his argument. In the first two paragraphs of the passage, Fridman lays the foundation for his argument. First, he states what society thinks about nerds: society’s values are so flawed that terms like “nerd” and “geek” are used only for the academically serious and curious ones. Here, Fridman’s tone is serious, with a touch of humor when he defines “geek.” By going so far and defining the word as “a street performer who shocks the public by biting off heads of live chickens,” Fridman’s attention to detail helps him seem well-researched and detailed, but also logical because he proves how absurd it is to view geeks and nerds in this...
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...on Tuition & Courses To Start Your Career in Web Design www.campusexplorer.com/WebDesign Pursuasion Points 82 Strategic Exercises for Writing High-Scoring Persuasive Essays www.maupinhouse.com Homework / Study Tips Ads •College Students •Research Paper Example •Essay Writing •Speeches •Best Essays Looking for a topic you can really sink your teeth into? The best topic is one that you truly care about, and one that you're prepared to research. You'll have to back up your claim (whichever side you choose) with lots of evidence and support. These topics are sure to spark some interest. Note:If these topics are a little too controversial, try Persuasive Essay Topics. 1. Is global climate change man-made? (Find Sources) 2. Is the death penalty effective? (Find Sources) 3. Is our election process fair? 4. Do colleges put too much stock in standardized test scores? (Find Sources) 5. Is torture ever acceptable? 6. Should men get paternity leave from work? 7. Is a lottery a good idea? 8. Do we have a fair taxation system? 9. Do curfews keep teens out of trouble? 10. Is cheating out of control? 11. Are we too dependent on computers? 12. Are parents clueless about child predators on the Internet? 13. Should animals be used for research? 14. Should cigarette smoking be banned? 15. Are cell phones dangerous? 16. Are law enforcement cameras an invasion of privacy? 17. Are test scores a good indication of a school's...
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...the "Sign Me Up!" link. CANVAS/LOLA/EMAIL: ID: LOLA NAME; Password: LOLA PIN Credit Hours: 3 Contact Hours: 3 Maximum Enrollment 24 TEXTBOOK(S): Norton Field Guide to Writing with Readings and Handbook, 3rd Ed MLA Formatted Essay Pages 523-530/ Works Cited: 531-534. MATERIALS: dictionary, loose-leaf notebook paper, pens, pencils, stapler, flash drive, two 2- pocket folders to keep ALL material completed for the class and for a special assignment, 4 large bluebooks for exit exam practice and exit exam final Course Description: Introduces students to the critical thinking, reading, writing and rhetorical skills required in the college/university and beyond, including citation and documentation, writing as a process, audience awareness, and writing effective essays. Students must pass a departmental exit exam to pass the course. | Prerequisites: | Appropriate placement test score or ENGL 091 with a “C” or better. | | Co-requisites: | None | | | Suggested Enrollment Cap: | 24 | | | Learning Outcomes: Upon successful completion of this course, the students will be able to: | 1. Apply fundamental strategies such as invention, drafting, revising, and editing (GELO 1). 2. Construct thesis-driven essays that adhere to a...
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