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Socialization

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Submitted By Rhea2272
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Socialization Project

I have lived in the same house my whole life. I grew up with a older sister who is two years older than me, and a younger brother who is three years younger than me. I also had grown up with both a mother and father. As you can see I was the middle child. When I was born my house was already filled with pink blankets, barbie dolls, and polly pockets but soon enough we had a house full of pink and blue, trucks and dolls. My mother was very open to the idea of me and my sister both playing with opposite gender toys. We were still young and both still developing into who we wanted to be. My father on the other hand was against me wanting to play with girl toys or do feminist activities. My father had an attitude and mindset a lot like the one Jackson Katz said most men in society have from the film Tough Guise . One story from my childhood that connects to my father having a strong sense of masculinity and trying to enforce them upon me as a child was when my sister was around 8 years old my mother was painting her nails. As a little kid I wanted to be a lot like my sister. My mother started painting my nails too and when my dad walked and saw what was going on he was very upset and took me and washed it all off. During the whole scene my father kept saying I wasnt a girl and nail polish is for girls and was really trying to turn me from the feminist idea of getting my nails polished. My father also had a strong sense of masculinity idea of competition, power, and strength. Once my brother was old enough to walk and run he would set up games for us two compete. We would play football games a very masculine sport we would race to see who could get a certain spot first, and we would always play games of horse or pig in our mini basketball hoop in our basement. It was around this age that i really saw what masculine ideas were with power and aggression the same idea Jackson Katz explained. That was how my family influenced me growing up.

The next agent of socialization that has influenced me in terms of gender was my group of friends. I feel you go through the most change physically and emotionally in middle school. Throughout middle school I had a very solid group of 9 guy friends and I also had a girlfriend. My middle school years really made me wear a mask. The mask i wore was the same as the one in the reading Real Boys: The Mask of Masculinity. What this mask is referring to is that boys put on this metaphoric mask to hide their soft or feminist feelings around others. This “mask” or hiding feelings was exactly what I did all through middle school. I was always worried that i was going to get made fun of for having a girlfriend or made fun if I seemed too soft. Whenever I was upset or sad because of the relationship I would never let my guy friends no because I just wanted to save myself from getting embarrassed. Now what I mean when I say save myself from embarrassment is that I would of been called a “fag” or a “pussy” for being upset over a girl. These were always the best time I felt to put on the mask of masculinity. Another time where I felt it was necessary to wear this mask around my friends was in my classes. Ive always had a strong interest in poetry. In my free time i write poetry all the time and I used to write poems in class until I got caught one day. I was made fun of alot for this I was told I was such a fag for writing poems or only girls should write poems, but this was a way I felt I could express feelings. After this incident i’ve always had this mask on and feel wrong or dumb if I want to express softer feelings. It is all because of my friends for making fun of me so much that I can no longer let these feelings out I have stopped writing poetry almost completely. Wearing this mask has really taken a toll on me as well as I can assume a lot of others. we hid our real feeling because we want be accepted in society as masculine. Toughness is a characteristic that correlates with masculinity.

The final agent of socialization that has influenced me in terms of gender was the media. All my life I have grown up watching T.V., surfing the internet, or listening to music/radio. My views of women have been impacted greatly because of this media I have been taught from a young age what beauty and love should be. I do have an older sister in my house so for a long time as a child we would watch all sorts of disney princess movies. Here is the first way that Media made me look at an ideal beauty of woman. these women were always light skin big eyes with make up in dresses and small waist etc.. The t.v. also gave me the wrong impression of what beautiful is in women or what society thinks the only beauty is. Just like the film we watched Miss Representation where we saw women being photo shopped into unrealistic characteristics I saw these images on commercials all over the T.V. so that is exactly where I got my ideas of beauty. now that I am older though I have realized that these characteristics aren't the only thing that can make a women beautiful and i'm ashamed that as i was growing up media was the one that implanted these ideas into my head.

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