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Stages of Grief

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Stages of Grief

Human is made of different emotions. It is impossible to live social life without emotions inhuman. Human often identifies negative and positive emotions. Happiness, joy and laughter are considered as positive emotions where anger, grief and pain are consider as negative emotions. Sometimes we do not realize that negative emotions can also guide us towards positive event in life. In Lament for a son authors replications are similar with this theory. These great thinker studies the death of Eric by indirectly explaining the five stages of grief. Wolterstorff experiences the pain and finds that no one can take his son place, but it is up to living family members how they can agree on death reality. His argument shows journey of suffering father changed to acquiescent person who accepts that endless knowledge and thinks that almighty does everything for a reason and individual must accept to understand life in better way.

Before understanding dilemma of Wolterstorff and his idea about anguish, it is significant to analyzed and recognize five stages of grief which are described by Ross in a book of Death and Dying. Every individual passes through thru grieving stages during their life time but it is might not happened in same order of stages as describe by Ross. In the beginning, death of close loved one creates misbelief from reality, which is considered as denial and isolation stage according author Ross. Knowing the truth that the reality will give them pain, people tries to denies the reality of death and remains in their isolated zone. Anger generated by isolation is second stage of grief. In fact, helplessness of living members to stop occurring death results in anger. So, they show their frustration with anger on other people. It might go on dead person as well. The third stage of grief is bargaining, which evaluates the incidents that cannot happen in period. In bargaining stage, a person creates imaginary situation as instance if a person is dead in accident. The living individual might think if a person did not leave from home, he could have avoided accident. This type of bargaining with unreal situations, may dominate thinking of close family member. Depression is fourth stage of grief. Continuous worry about a person who died causes depressed mental situation. People find this way to bid farewell to dead soul by staying in their saddened period of thinking. State of resolution is the last stage of grief. It is obtained by adopting sense of life and quality of eternity attached to every human birth (Axelrod, J).

Wolterstorff obeys all five stages given in Ross model of grief. His thoughts started to blur between reality and his imagination, as he received information about his son’s death in accident. The whole story is drive from time when his son dies to the visit to his grave after a year. During this year, Wolterstorff carefully observe feeling of grief in him, which in fact made Wolterstorff strong enough to believe in value and meaning of life. In the beginning he was unable to accept the death of his son, but eventually he realized that remembering good memories of his son and time they have spent good time together rather staying in grief of his son. He describes many incidents which are emotionally strong and touches heart. Written in form of text it is related to human idiocies in believing death as unavoidable reality of life (Wiltshire, M., 2014 and Wolterstorff, N ).

It is notable that Wolterstorff utilizes the perspective of Christianity to come out his grief state. The bible says that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm, 34:18, NIV). “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4, NIV). So, God is a creator of universe, life and death is part of it. Bible says that people should accept the death as renovation of soul from these troubles of world and believe that soul has to return back to original place. Wolterstorff puts his feet in the shoe of great saying and becomes strong in later part of his life. Wolterstorff is comforted because of the belief that death experience has washed away his immature fixation with anxiety and worries. Wolterstorff believed that by expressing death pain he is now better person and he thinks that it happened for a reason. Wolterstorff gains peace by suffering so the he even pity for people who never had experience of death of their love once (Wolterstorff, N ,pg. 36).

References
Axelrod, J. (n.d.). The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. Retrieved March 13, 2016, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
Wiltshire, M. (2014). Solidarity, Memory, and a Suffering God: Reflections on Wolterstorff’s “Lament for a Son”. Retrieved March 13, 2016, from http://restoringpangea.com/solidarity-memory-and-a-suffering-god-reflections-on-wolterstorffs-lament-for-a-son/

Wolterstorff, N. (1987). Lament for a Son. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing.

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