...Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay: Thanh , thank you for submitting your assignment for review. I am Ann B., your writing tutor. First, I want to point out a strength I noted when I read your paper. This sentence in the introduction presents a question and then answers it: College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The question sets up the argument nicely for the reader! Now let’s move on to some areas that need revision. Content Development: A direct quotation like this one is not a good topic or first sentence: McCourt states “The athletes are ones who put in hours of practice and training” ( Evan Rosenfeld and Scarlett McCourt). Your audience may not understand why this quoted passage is important. The topic sentence should present a main point about athletes being paid in your own words. The first point is the hectic schedule. Can you write a topic sentence that introduces this point? I note that the second body paragraph does have a topic sentence introducing a point from the thesis in your own words: Another reason to why college athletes should get paid is they need money for expenses...
Words: 2481 - Pages: 10
...Dominick Cima English 102 Sec. 401 31 January 2015 Argument Essay Paid to Play? Picture Morgantown on a warm Saturday in August. The streets are buzzing with students and families, and nothing but blue and gold tailgates for as far as the eye can see. This is also the case for every other college in the country. College football has become increasingly more popular over the past few years. It has even got to the point that players and coaches have raised the idea that players should be paid. This essay will focus mainly on collegiate football players and whether or not they should be payed. I used to play football in college and I, for one, do not think players should be paid. I believe that, if they were to pay players, the money should be used to benefit the their education in the form of scholarships. Also paying athletes will individualize the sports, much like how professional sports are now. Lastly, paying all athletes would cost far too much for the NCAA. Scholarships as Currency If college athletes were to be paid, it should be in the form of scholarships. From my own experience colleges have switched from the traditional four year scholarship, to one year grants. This is where the argument first stems from. A four year scholarship guarantees the athlete financial support throughout their four year stay at the institution. It covers all the basic finances of a college student such as tuition, fees, and room and board(Mitchell). On the other...
Words: 1031 - Pages: 5
...51 16 April 2015 Argument Essay College Athletes While in college being an athlete requires a great deal of additional work on top of being a student. A student makes certain sacrifices and works hard to play a sport he or she loves to play. Being able to play a sport a person may love or have a passion for while attending school is rewarding is several ways. Being an athlete in college already has a lot of advantages therefore college athletes should not be paid. Playing a sport in college is not considered a profession. Thus, the idea of paying an athlete to play while in college is illogical. First, if the athletes start getting paid they might start getting comfortable and unmotivated. Many college athletes already do not make it to the next step and become professionals. Even if it is only little money he or she might start to not want to work harder because he or she might become arrogant because he or she is getting paid. Also, a lot of the times money becomes relevant in a situation it becomes corrupt. All athletes know the choice to be an athlete comes with additional work and sacrifices. Athletes that play for a university most likely received a scholarship. Some athletes may have even received a full ride scholarship with room and board and other benefits. Certainly, having the honor to represent his or her school and getting a free education is rewarding alone. Not to mention at most universities athletes have priority when signing...
Words: 566 - Pages: 3
...Two Sided Essay: Should College Athletes be Paid or not If the great Kansas basketball coach, Bill Self, can completely change his whole prospective on the idea of college athletes being paid, we all can! Self once stated that “[college athletics has] always [been] big business; now it's huge business. And when you're sending players from the West Coast to East Coast to play sports, to miss more classes, and the schools benefit from that financially, why shouldn't the people that are responsible for the business, and that would be the student athletes," (Kansas). At most colleges, college athletes are a key source of income, and they attract students to their institutions. Universities depend on their athletes to produce and maintain the popularity of their school's name. College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The National Collegiate Athletic Association, NCAA, says that it is trying to protect the athletes from "exploitation by professional and commercial enterprises" (United). Many argue that student athletes should not be paid because they are receiving an essentially free education through a scholarship. These people feel that the promise of their education being paid for is enough for the college athletes. They reason that with free tuition, room, board, books, and fees, there are no other factorable costs that could significantly harm ones packets. However, on the opposite side of the issue, some...
Words: 1075 - Pages: 5
...been the exploitation of student-athletes. This paper will discuss the disappointing reasons in which student-athletes have been exploited and why reforms are needed in college athletics. Which explores the effect of money on college sports programs and the way in which college sports programs can distract everyone from academics. It will discuss some of the methods the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) has employed in an attempt to cure this exploitation. This will fairly compensate student-athletes for their work while preserving the amateur nature of college athletics. It will show 3 reason why it is most disappointing, and about how college sports operate. One thing that disappointing about college sport is that they don’t get pay for playing their sport. Dan Zirin believe that colleges needs to start giving back to the athletes who make the money for the colleges. The athletes are the one who bring in the huge profits to their schools but they don’t receive nothing in return. I think the athletes that play the sport should get a little of money because there working hard for their team to won and bringing money to the schools. Even though they have media attention and promotional commercials many people don’t know that they player aren’t getting pay at all. The president of NCAA Mark Emmert said that he expect college athletes to play as part of their educational experience and for their sport, not to be paid a salary. Even if they get pay they wouldn’t know...
Words: 1114 - Pages: 5
...Should College Athletes be paid? What really is the true definition of an amateur? The true definition is a person who engages in a pursuit, especially a sport, on an unpaid basis. If this is the true definition then why are the schools paying their athletes to come and help bring the attention there school. I believe if this is going to happen, they need to do it equally and give the athletes what they are deserving of. Many athletes are giving their health and stability to help make their colleges revenue. I believe the only thing that is standing against this becoming the future instead of just an idea is the men at the corrupted NCAA (National College Athletic Association). I think the NCAA and the athletic boards throughout the United States are corrupt and are money hungry. However, not every collegiate sports bring in the revenue such as football and basketball do for their universities. So if college athletes were ever to be paid it would be because of these sports. Mostly, as the U.S. News reports that the NCAA brings in more than 1 billion dollars from the NCAA Men’s and Women’s basketball tournaments (U.S. News), where does the money go for the athletes who bring them such wealth? It ends up into to the hands of the men and women that have enough money than they can handle. Which is not setting good examples for their athletes that they are in charge of. If they NCAA truly wants the amateurism to stick throughout time and not have to pay their athletes,...
Words: 802 - Pages: 4
...1110 29 November 2015 Revision: Essay 2 - Paying of College Athletes Several years ago, the National Collegiate Athletic Association, the NCAA, started out as a young business with a couple colleges under their helm, and today they have grown into an $11 billion industry tasked with the controversial decision of sharing their wealth with the college athletes that made them relevant. Should college athletes get paid is what it usually all boils down to. This burning question has been canvassed various times over the turn of the century with several underlying concerns for the athlete’s futures and also their safety. Opponents of paying college athletes contend that the scholarships said athletes received to their institutions of higher learning should be more than enough. Once a university extends a scholarship to an athlete, that athlete becomes property of that university. With that being said, once on campus, they become “student athletes,” a term coined by the NCAA to justify their exploitation of the athletes that made the infamous organization relevant, and also full time workers as they spend on average an excess of more than forty hours a week dedicated to their respective sports. In a survey conducted internally by the NCAA, it was discovered that athletes competing in more than a half a dozen sports indicated that they too, are putting in the equivalent of full time worksheets, but don’t receive the benefits that regular workers get (cite). They receive little to zero...
Words: 1387 - Pages: 6
...Joshua Torres English 1A Essay 3 Professor Cay Strode 4 April 2016 Paying College Athletes Millions of fans gather around to watch their favorite college team or player from the first game to the championship. Whether the sport is basketball football or hockey, college teams are love to compete against each other and take it very seriously. However, this of course comes with certain issues, particularly when it comes to the question whether college athletes should be paid for their performance. College athletic programs are making millions, so why shouldn’t they convinced their school to pay their athletes. Also, it being a business opportunity benefiting the coaches, the amount of games that team wins, and the student athletes. Meanwhile, people who opposed it say that it is harmful and destructive for the athlete’s. They believe it harms the education part of being the student athlete, taking the money out of education, and paying them for just their performance is not setting a positive example. I find confusing that sometimes that college athlete doesn’t have a saying on if they should get paid for their performance, whether or not they’re good or bad. This issue is important to understand from all sides because it affects education, problems with payment, the university, the NCAA and the athletic department. Both sides care about the performance of college athletes, the education, but the approach of being a business opportunity really has both sides fighting...
Words: 285 - Pages: 2
...Growing up with Asian parents, it was not unusual for me to skip ballet class if I did not finish my homework. Quite the contrary, most Americans today glorify athletes, while nerds cower in the corner. In an excerpt from Leonid Fridman’s essay titled, “America Needs Its Nerds,” Fridman shows readers why Americans should not look down on nerds by utilizing writing tools to develop his argument. In the first two paragraphs of the passage, Fridman lays the foundation for his argument. First, he states what society thinks about nerds: society’s values are so flawed that terms like “nerd” and “geek” are used only for the academically serious and curious ones. Here, Fridman’s tone is serious, with a touch of humor when he defines “geek.” By going so far and defining the word as “a street performer who shocks the public by biting off heads of live chickens,” Fridman’s attention to detail helps him seem well-researched and detailed, but also logical because he proves how absurd it is to view geeks and nerds in this...
Words: 647 - Pages: 3
...products 5-25 % Discounts available www.omnicontrols.com Web Design Degree Get Free Info on Tuition & Courses To Start Your Career in Web Design www.campusexplorer.com/WebDesign Pursuasion Points 82 Strategic Exercises for Writing High-Scoring Persuasive Essays www.maupinhouse.com Homework / Study Tips Ads •College Students •Research Paper Example •Essay Writing •Speeches •Best Essays Looking for a topic you can really sink your teeth into? The best topic is one that you truly care about, and one that you're prepared to research. You'll have to back up your claim (whichever side you choose) with lots of evidence and support. These topics are sure to spark some interest. Note:If these topics are a little too controversial, try Persuasive Essay Topics. 1. Is global climate change man-made? (Find Sources) 2. Is the death penalty effective? (Find Sources) 3. Is our election process fair? 4. Do colleges put too much stock in standardized test scores? (Find Sources) 5. Is torture ever acceptable? 6. Should men get paternity leave from work? 7. Is a lottery a good idea? 8. Do we have a fair taxation system? 9. Do curfews keep teens out of trouble? 10. Is cheating out of control? 11. Are we too dependent on computers? 12. Are parents clueless about child predators on the Internet? 13. Should animals be used for research? 14. Should cigarette smoking be banned? 15. Are cell phones dangerous? 16. Are law...
Words: 331 - Pages: 2
...True or False: 1. Student loans must be paid back in the exact amount I received and no more. 2. Scholarships do NOT need to be paid back. 3. It is best to have no debt whatsoever. 4. If I am given money for school in the form of a student loan or scholarship, the money will be sent to me as a check. 5. Debit cards are different from credit cards; with a debit card money is taken directly from my checking account when I make a purchase. 6. If I pay my entire credit card bill every month without letting a balance carry over to the next month, I will not have to pay interest. 7. If I am unable to pay a bill, it is best to just wait until the next month. 8. I have to pay Grants back. 9. If I withdraw from a class, I won’t have to pay for it. 10. “Excellent” credit is considered a score between 600 and 700. 11. My parents do not have to start paying back a Parent PLUS Loan until 6 months after I graduate from college. 12. I am not allowed to make payments on my student loans until after I graduate. 13. It is best to start budgeting as early as possible. 14. I started to accrue interest on my loans when the money was disbursed to me. 15. It is possible to defer a Parent PLUS Loan until after I graduate or drop down to part-time status. 16. Scholarships are only for students with good grades. 17. If I am awarded a scholarship, they will send me a check in the mail. 18. I can use the same essay (with minimal changes) to apply to several scholarships. 19. I can get scholarships based...
Words: 754 - Pages: 4
...Negative Effects of Steroids The intent of this essay is to show that steroids have many negative effects and that steroids, and other natural supplements, should be closely studied by the FDA. This essay will also support the claim that the professional sports industry needs to eliminate steroid use and set a good example for younger athletes. Over one million American seek short cuts to larger muscles and greater endurance with anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. Steroids are drugs that act like chemical in the body. Most steroids are transformed into testosterone when they enter the body. Testosterone is a male growth hormone. While user may gain short-term results, they are seriously shortchanging their health (Kalawalski 13-15). Some of the ill effects of the drugs are damage to the kidneys and liver. A person can also alter the balance of the natural hormones. This can cause detrimental affects to the body. The effects of you natural hormones being out of balance can last several years after being off the drugs. Some male user form breasts due to the use of steroids. Because of the increase in testosterone, steroids can cause serious acne problems. When used by teens is can cause stunted growth. Other side effects include genital changes, water retention, yellow eyes, coronary artery disease, ligament injuries, high blood pressure, changes in cholesterol levels, sterility and liver disease. The list goes on and on...
Words: 2140 - Pages: 9
...ANALOGY ESSAY SAMPLES • While not perfect, these samples from students past should give you an idea on how to organize and approach this essay. • If you have any questions, please ask. Should We Pay? Many issues have been plaguing the sports world recently, especially the question of paying college athletes. Are athletics so important that colleges need to put out millions of dollars per year just to pay for students to play for them? Paying college athletes is like throwing a lit match into a haystack: once the fire is started, it just keeps burning, making a bad situation worse. There are several differences between the haystack and paying athletes. To start, throwing a needle in a haystack is a totally negative concept; everything will burn. However, with paying college athletes, some people can find reasons why this could be a positive thing. For instance, some believe paying athletes will bring more competition to the table and make some colleges much more prestigious than others. Others say this will bring in more money and more revenue. A second difference is the end of the situation. At the end of the fire, there is smoke and it will eventually put itself out. However, this is an issue that cannot extinguish itself. No matter what the verdict, someone is going to be unhappy and the "fire" will keep burning. [pic]Despite these differences there are many similarities between the two. One similarity is the haystack going up in flames and the...
Words: 4395 - Pages: 18
...You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree? Write at least 250 words. Model answer In many countries these days, females make up over 50 per cent of the workforce, and increasingly highly skilled women are taking managerial positions. However, it is still a fact that high positions such as CEO posts are still dominated by men. Although this is not desirable, I do not personally believe that imposed quotas are the solution. Firstly, I believe companies have a right to choose the best person for the job, whatever their gender, in order to contribute to the success of the business. Forcing companies to hire, promote and appoint women could negatively affect business in the short term and even the long term. Secondly, to my mind the solution to this problem should be solved outside the workplace. Girls need to be encouraged to take more male-dominated subjects at school and later at university, and to aspire to do well in their careers. Girls and boys also need to be taught equality from an early age. This education can take place in schools and career programmes and in the home. To those who argue that quotas are a good way to initiate this change, I would like to point out that artificially imposing rules has not always...
Words: 10459 - Pages: 42
...TOEFL Writing Topics Topics in the following list may appear in your actual test. You should become familiar with this list before you take the computer-based TOEFL test. Remember that when you take the test you will not have a choice of topics. You must write only on the topic that is assigned to you. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons...
Words: 6338 - Pages: 26
