You've likely heard the saying that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This scientific theory mirrors human behavior where individuals often mask their true feelings and insecurities. Joyce Oates’ story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is about a self-centered girl, named Connie, who only cares about her appearance and how others see her. She spends her time hanging out with friends and boys and hopes to gain their acceptance. One day, an unexpected man from an earlier night shows up at her home and she grows terrified after recognizing him. She then agrees to leave with him to avoid his demanding threats. Oates story suggests that it can be dangerous when we try to seek our self-worth through the approval …show more content…
When Oates states that “everything about her had two sides to it,” she was referring to Connie’s differences in behavior; such as her laugh being “cynical and drawling at home...but highpitched and nervous anywhere else” (Oates 5). Connie’s desire to be accepted by others causes her to act towards society’s likings. Another example is when Connie checked her hair and “[wondered] how bad she looked” as the car came up her driveway (Oates 15). Despite the impending danger, Connie immediately focuses on her looks instead of her own safety. Connie’s search for approval bases her identity off of society, which results in her being more vulnerable to its dangers. This is further symbolized when Connie “dawdled in the doorway” of her home “and wouldn’t [go] down or go back inside” (Oates 35). This “dawdling” motion represents Connie’s true struggle with transitioning into adulthood even though she expresses an outward appearance that displays the sexuality and maturity of a grown woman. This helps illustrate that drawing one’s identity from society can cause both mental and physical complications. Connie’s search for societal approval is a major contribution to the story’s central idea because of the dangers that arose when she based her identity and self-worth on the approval of others and