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The Impact of Divorce on Children

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The Impact of Divorce on Children

PSYC 210-D06

Abstract

Divorce has become a new common way of life in our current society that we find ourselves in. We must understand the impact that divorce has on children as it plays a major role on a family physically and emotionally. In this research you will see how divorce impacts children under the age of 18, that divorce has an impact on children. This paper will also provide solutions to assist the children on how to manage. Most often when children experience a feeling of not needing to move forward due to such a drastic change like divorce. Finally, in this research paper, you will see ways to help a child adjust after divorce.

Divorce has a strong impact on children based inversely on their ages. Sociologist and psychologist have considered that a child under the age of 3 does not always hurt from their parents divorced. They have agreed that problems in temperament can developed if the child had a strong bond between the parents and those connections are broken due to the divorce. According to “Paternal Participation and Children’s Well-Being After Marital Dissolution” we can see the effect in the different stages of their lives:

Children ages 3-5 frequently blame themselves for the divorce. The impact leads them to imagine that they are the source of their parents divorcing. Elementary school children are cognitively established enough to understand that they are in pain because the divorce. Accordingly, they are old enough to understand their pain but they are not fully developed enough to control their reaction to the distress. Adolescents recognize the cause leading to their parent's separation and try to pin point which parent is at fault. Leading to a struggle interfering with teenager’s ability to cope with the divorce. Teens may experience several feelings such as; anger, fear, loneliness, depression and guilt.

Children are also affected by divorce depending on their gender. It wasn't until recently that researchers found out that boys who are raised by their fathers and girls who are raised by their mothers benefit more than children of divorce who are raised by the opposite parent of gender. There are some benefits for children who are raised by the parents of the same gender like better mood, less emotional problems, higher achievement and less strain to cope after divorce.

There several ways to assist children adjust to divorce. It is important for parents to discuss the separation and the divorce whether the child is happy or unhappy with the parents. In helping younger children, is it fine to share general information with them, even if their curiosity seems to request more details. Adolescents will be concerned with the future leading them to ask more specific questions. One of the most important factors is for parents to minimize the conflict and hostility between them when the children are around. We learn from American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, that exposing children to similar situation doing the divorce may bring the metal and physical pain back to the child. Parents should get involve as much as possible and support the children. Children will still which to get their parents approval, it is important for the parents to good communication in their relationship with the child.

Nolan F. Jones, suggest that parents must understand the importance to make joint living arrangement or visitation times. Living arrangements have many benefits, but at times have some drawbacks. “It is imperative for parents to not argue with each other because even in the separation there is constant communication” also suggests Jones. In order for parents to have a successful living arrangement, it requires good regular communication, and cooperation. of conflict and violence are involve, it is best not to have a join living arrangement.

Parents should do their best to be involved in the daily life of their children. This involvement allows the child know that he or she is still being loved and looked after. It is highly important to keep the children reassured during new adjustments. Maintaining forms of communication will continue to form strong bonds with their children.

The divorce rate for first marriages is about 50 percent and for second marriages it's about 60 percent, in the United States. An estimated one million American children live through the divorce of their parents every year. According to, JS Wallerstein in Children After Divorce: Wounds That Don’t Heal, “Those estimated one million American children, in general, they will have a more difficult time with religion and a relationship with God. Those children often describe themselves as spiritual or as involved in organized religion as others. Children of divorce may have a hard time understanding God. Often they may feel like they have been abandoned or distant from God. They experience a loss of trust that affects their belief in God”. That usually leads to absence of interest in day-to-day spiritual commitment. Often it’s complicated for children of divorce, when the Bible says God is our Father (Matthew: 6:1), and the experience of a father to those children are often negative and non-existent. It is imperative to the growth of the children to know that God is trustworthy and will never leave them. God is perfect. He promises us that he would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews:13:5).

References:
Wallerstein, JS. Children After Divorce: Wounds That Don’t Heal. The Psychiatric Times: Medicine and Behavior. 8: 8-11, 1989.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2008, May). American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Fact for Families. Retrieved September 18, 2011

Furstenberg FF. Morgan SP. Allison PD. Paternal Participation and Children’s Well-Being After Marital Dissolution. American Sociological Review. 52: 695-701, 1987.

Hetherington EM. Furstenberg FF. Sounding the Alarm. Readings: A Journal of Review and Commentary in Mental Health. 6: 4-8, 1989.

Jones, F. Nolan, Family Court Review, The Impact of Divorce on Children, EISSN 1744-1617, 03/2005, Volume 15, Issue 2, pp. 25 – 29

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